Close call (alert)

Be moral
I got infection of HSV 1 virus which my doctor is going to cure within 3 months as it got detected early. Only homeopathy can cure this completely if found early. We did all the STI related test , all came negative except slight infection of HSV 1 .
Those who do NoFap and were previously addicted to porn , get urges after 6 months. This time it is not PMO this time you want a real person.
But I did mistake and apologise to the universe and God that I indulged with a woman from office. I didn’t knew about her sexual history and I kissed and performed oral sex.She did same to me. She insisted on intercourse but I refused as something inside was refusing all of it . Anyway I thought there was nothing wrong giving each other pleasure with consent. I tried to stop it at initial stages but I was curious.
Anyway I got sick many times and then 6 months before we stopped out of fear.
Thank you to God, he saved me again.
Do NoFap but be morally right before indulging in anything.
I see those pimples on scrotum and I feel disgusted.
One thing good came out of this , I got clean vision now.
I stopped sexualising women all together.
I am focused and want answers to the greater questions.
I pray for my health, everybody around me, reading this , know me or don’t, be blessed with health and be alert .
I love you all.
Peace.

 

I really don’t know. One thing for sure that I won’t judge her. I did not said anything to the woman either who is the source. It was my lust which gave me the infection. I could have stopped when the relation was still at its innocence.
Whenever I will be cured I will go for the test again. If the test is negative then only I will think about love. This was my first actual sexual experience and I got curious. Now this. But I will be kind and compassionate if I come across some girl faced issues like this.

 

You said something which I never realised till date. Yes I will love myself, my body and will search for love too. I will try my best to free myself from fear.
It is true I lived most of my life in fear viz. fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of not succeeding etc.even fear of illness too. You pointed out that rightly.
Lots of love to you my friend.
Thank you so much.

 

I stopped seeing her few months ago. Now I am staying away from her. I am living a celibate life since the test.
Thank you