1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Do I need to reset the counter?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Barnabas77, Sep 5, 2019.

  1. Barnabas77

    Barnabas77 Fapstronaut

    32
    51
    18
    I updated my journal for the week and here is what I wrote, I need community accountability, do I reset the counter? Real question not rhetorical.

    Had a hard week. I can feel myself sliding back a little bit, not sure if I need to reset the counter. I feel like I have been getting ambushed. I started playing mafia 3, no big deal, until I found out (pretty early game) that one of the collectibles was playboys, no big deal, until I figured out you can open them. I'm debating on resetting the counter because I had two at the time and once I figured out you can open them, I peeked. The first one I could chalk up as an accident, but I peeked at the second one. No masturbation, no other acting out, but do I reset the counter? So I deleted the game off my ps4, better safe than sorry. I went back to playing xcom 2, I have gotten into naming squads and playing iron man mode because its hilarious (the ghostbusters got massacred :( and Scully got killed first mission). As I was googling the scooby doo team (who turned out to be murder machines) I googled imaged them to customize their armor colors and learn their last names. On the fist page of the images is one of them flashing her animated boobs. GEEZ! Cant even google image a cartoon character with ZERO sexy search words and not get a form of pornography. What bums me out is I didn't just click out, I watched it for a second with all my dignity flushing down the toilet. Do I reset the counter? Here's the result on me physically and emotionally. I noticed my brain has started hungering for more. I want more. I want to relapse, and I hate it. So what I learned is the cleaner you get the easier it is to keep the mind clean. Even the slightest of infractions is punishing. What has given me hope in all this is I set a lofty goal for myself, to be free from lust is no easy thing. Sin mastery is not to be taken as a light jog, its a marathon. As my standards for purity climb I am glad that I am becoming less tolerant to any kind of infraction. I also haven't been beating myself up too bad because at neither infraction was I intentionally searching out any kind of porn, and I have avoided any other relapses. So bad news is, I feel like I got ambushed by pornography, and I gave it a little ground. The good news is, I was able to get out before it went hard relapse and my standards for purity have certainly increased to get more demanding. Nothing short of 100% is acceptable, So I ask you community? Do I need to reset the counter?
     
  2. AntiRootDrone2230

    AntiRootDrone2230 Fapstronaut

    21
    31
    13
    Depends, did it show female body parts?
     
  3. It seems like you could really benefit from getting an Availability Partner. You can more then one. Do you have one?
     
  4. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

    663
    723
    93
    Don't get hung up on re setting your counter or what constitutes porn.

    Consider more your behaviours leading up to PMO... if you see images on tv, film or games but you don't act out or progress to PMO then this is normal everyday behaviour.

    Worth noting that your brain will use many dirty tricks to get you to relapse... stay vigilant
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. Barnabas77

    Barnabas77 Fapstronaut

    32
    51
    18
    Thank you for all the advice and thoughts. I decided to not reset the counter. I've had more time to process what happened and I talked it over with my wife and some of the guys on here and decided not to reset the counter. As time has gone on I realized that I have become hyper sensitive to what I am taking in which I consider to be a good thing. I have deleted the game off my ps4 and enabled google safe search. Done and done. As I found myself on the brink, I didn't cave into relapse. So I am relieved and ready to pick up the fight and keep on keepin on. Good news is I have made it 41 days without any acting out, so no porn relapses, no masturbation, and naturally no orgasms. I haven't been this abstinent since pre-puberty. I am also very glad to report that staying abstinent has become more of a habit than an ordeal at this point, while I must remain vigilant and aware I am glad that it no longer feels like a struggle. Hooray!
     

Share This Page