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Small Penis Syndrome, Body Dysmorphia, and related insecurities and issues

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by PeterJL, Jul 6, 2019.

  1. Does He feel guilt?

    Does He feel guilt? Fapstronaut

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    I'm glad you love your wife. I love my husband. However, him and I are complete opposites in every way, just to clarify. It's unfortunate that you've sort of clumped me into one of two of your categories, but hey, you don't know me, so that's fine. You don't appear to want any involvement in giving me the kind of insight I'm looking for, and that's fine, too. So thanks for your time anyway.
     
  2. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut
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    If you love your husband then I would be very interested in helping you find more of a connection with him. The opposite of addiction is connection.

    I think it would work best if he were here, but perhaps that is not in the cards.

    What kind of insight were you looking for? I'm not sure I understand what you are asking.
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2019
  3. Does He feel guilt?

    Does He feel guilt? Fapstronaut

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    Can we please start here with the questions I asked above?
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  4. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut
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    Ah, okay. I'm not exactly sure what aspect of this requires further explanation, and bear in mind I'm trying not to get overly graphic/triggering but...

    Yes. I was sending nudes, or more specifically broadcasting on cam and chat sites, to get size ratings, comments, compliments, etc. By the way, my wife gives me these, it's just that she was a virgin before we met so I figure she really doesn't have anything to compare against anyways.

    And some of the men and women who participate on these sites offer real life encounters. I haven't taken any up (usually geographically impossible anyways) but it is tempting.

    I would assume that to some degree your husband falls into the same boat. I have had many male chat partners (because women rarely participate on these sort of sites) and it seems to be a pretty universal theme, at least among men who are not 100% gay.

    Is that what you were wondering about?
     
  5. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

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    In my opinion, personal experience and knowledge about the subject, the reason for cheating and sendings dic pics (never done), is looking for acceptance. Because you dont accept yourself in that area. Way of thinking is - If its not big, its small. Reason for that is perfectionism. Psychological studies show that the root cause for perfectionism is humiliation. Person have been humiliated and now the person is trying to be perfect in those and other areas, just to be accepted. Its subconcious.
     
    Mr. AndLF likes this.
  6. Of course our dong are smallest during our down days. They get up soon though as you rise up in life also.
     
    Mr. AndLF likes this.
  7. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

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    Same was here:)
     
  8. Comando

    Comando New Fapstronaut

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    [QUOTE = "PeterJL, publicación: 2136982, miembro: 175004"] Me refería a mí mismo haciendo trampa.
    A mi e pasa igual, y la verdad terminando sintiendo vergüenza de mi, buscando satisfacción en sentirme mejor que otros, pero despierta un morbo que me lleva un PMO
     
  9. Will Lee

    Will Lee Fapstronaut

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    I had issues with body dysmorphia, including with my penis. I used to be so worried what girls would think of it, then I realised that I don't care what girls think. I still worried about what my friends or family would think if they found out, then I realised that I don't care what my friends or family think.

    When girls, friends and family truly become a "I can take it or leave it" proposition for you, you stop caring what they think.

    What's the upside of not giving a fuck about anyone's opinion apart from your boss/colleagues? You do whatever the fuck you want and are comfortable with yourself.

    What's the downside of not giving a fuck about anyone's opinion apart from your boss/colleagues? The people you don't care about don't like you. You'll actually find that, more often than not, people desire that which does not desire them. So, you may actually endear more people towards you, as you won't appear needy and desperate for validation. Plus, as long as you never tell people that you don't care about their opinion, like a fucking idiot, they will never know. Let them give their opinions, just don't let it hold any weight in your head. Only your opinion of yourself matters, the rest is just noise meant to put you off your game.



    Secondly, GRATITUDE! You can focus on the things that are shit about you, fine! But realise that there are many things about your body that are great. Don't you think "holy shit, I'm so fortunate!" when you see a mentally handicapped person being wheeled around? When you count all the blessings you've been given, then you become grateful that your downsides are only as bad as they are. You could have very easily been given no penis.
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2019
    PeterJL and Despicable me like this.
  10. I’m so groovy

    I’m so groovy Fapstronaut

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    This is so true? I look down at it and go hmm then I pick up a measurement ruler or tape and find it’s actually 7”!
     
  11. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    Wow, that is so groovy, lol! :)

    But in your first post a couple of weeks ago, you said your dick measured about 6 inches. Now it is 7 inches! How cum? ;)
     
  12. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

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    Guys, if you have body dysmorphia or small penis syndrome, never ever ask woman if its big enough. The answer is only her opinion, but if it matches with your insecureties, it will brake you. Just give your best and enjoy her. Dont ask for validation from no one.
     
  13. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut
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    That, and it's just an annoying thing to ask her.

    Husband: "Is it big enough?"
    Wife: "That depends, do I look fat in this?"
     
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  14. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut
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    Both posts are true because it's none of our business either way.
     

  15. Honestly, i think that today, in modern society, this is in part a justified fear. But at the same time, you shouldn't be over obssesing about the size of your penis. I mean, do you really think that the freaking size of your weenie does define your personality? Obviously NO, but let's consider it. What your gonna do about it? Nothing. You have to love yourself as you ARE. There are literally no exceptions, you have to love yourself EVEN if you are :

    - Sexually Different.

    - A black man, an albino.

    - Taller, smaller, Fatter, Skinnier.

    - Long hair, short hair.

    Even if you consider yourseft the UGLIEST person on the entire world, you have to LOVE yourself. Because in the end of the day, appearance doesn't matter. Also you i really think you should look for Psychiatrist. Most of them help people who are in your current state of mind. Have a good day :)
     
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  16. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut
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    Thank you for the reply and concern. To be perfectly honest, though, this is a pretty good example of the sort of comment that I think is well intentioned but really just makes it worse.

    The thing to keep in mind is that people with insecurities about their appearance aren't stupid - we GET that they aren't a rational concern. The trouble is that the insecurities are not a choice. You cannot logic your way out of them. Psychiatrists do not have magic wands that make them go away.

    In fact, it is easier to change your physical appearance than it is to change how you feel about it. My argument against enlargement exercises isn't even that they don't work- it is that you still feel the same after they work.

    The best thing we can really hope for is the courage to just express how we feel and demand not to be judged negatively for it. To take responsibility for our feelings rather than trying to make them go away.

    But that's why I started this board.
     
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  17. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

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    Hey PeterJL, can you share a link for penis enlargement hypnosis. I think I need that.
     
  18. PrinceOtaku

    PrinceOtaku Fapstronaut

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    Im a black dude so I can kind of relate to this thread. Watching other black guys in porn with these humongous sized dicks makes me feel insecure, that I have average to below average sized dick. This last chick I fucked told me she been with guys that was over 10 inches, told me my dick was medium size, that took a blow to my ego. Sometimes I just wanna kill myself.
     
  19. Yes! I actually agree with everything you said, i really do apologize if that post made you feel bad, i might delete it later.

    I DO know that worries, thoughts, feelings aren't exactly a thing that you can control or want in your head ( I've had severe OCD for a loong time, still suffer a bit for it). But let's take an example : I've suffered of OCD for some good time, i've struggled with intrusive thoughts and even feelings. The common thoughts were : Am i normal? Am i capable of hurting someone? Etc etc.. But if i and you look REALLY well on my past situation, we would soon get to a conclusion that these worries and thoughts are completly IRRATIONAL. You know what did really slow down my recovery from OCD? I thought that the worries, intrusive thoughts, that i was struggling with had any sense in it. But it didn't.

    "Ah, i see that this is irrational, but i can argue that it's not a thing that i want in my head." That's what i hear from almost 90% of OCD/ OCD related conditions sufferers. The good part is that you actually have recognized that this has no sense at all. The next step is giving these worries less attention.

    "Um, i'm not going to the park today cause i think my chest is so this and that"

    Say to yourself : "Fuck it! I'm going to the park and i don't care!" Of couse this is an example, but it's a general rule for most of the situations.

    I know this is hard to overcome, it tooks years to "cure" my OCD. But if you want to overcome this, you will need time and patience. And again, i do apologize about my other post. Have a nice day friend :)
     
  20. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut
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    Actually, no. I'm not sure if that is allowed. And I'm not really sure if I would even recommend it. Not if you are also trying to quit PMO, at least.

    It's on YouTube, though so it is easy to search for if you are interested. There are at least two versions out there, one is by Steve G. Jones, the other is by an erotica hypnotist whose other videos get into sissy hypno and things like that, so be very careful.
     

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