Soon to be 40 year old virgin, failed as a man, what am I??

Well Ultrafabber, you made the guy leave, I hope you are happy.

 

Step 1: shed the social construct. Just because a loud minority in a certain kind of XXIst century society believe that males become men and embrace the path of success when they first fuck a female, doesn't mean it's true.

Step 2: you are not alone. Many remain virgins either because of circumstances or by choice. I'm a bit of both, I guess. I'm in my 30s and while occasionally other men have looked down on me and considered me something less than a man, the truth is that my life is perfectly fine and normal, whether I date (when I used to date, before I joined a religious community) or whether I am solitary.

Step 3: self-mastery is indeed true manhood. Whether you are in a relationship or by yourself, you should be in control of your body and be able to subdue your urges, not let your dick (or mental erection) be in charge. Many macho men out there who pride themselves in screwing a different girl every night can't go two days without fapping, or two hours without thinking of sex.

 

I was a virgin till I was 32. It was the best thing I ever did. Despite all the problems in my life with PMO. I married virgin with a virgin woman. not having previous sexual partners was the best thing for the both of us. We are still learning how to have sex to this day.

My friend @OP, don't be hard on yourself. Start exercising, pull out a calender, set a 30 day goal and create some awesome objectives. If you are overweight, start working on those extra pounds. If you are too shy to meet someone, start with some online dating (thats how I met my wife) and start meeting some interesting women. Don't let PMO be what dictates your life. You are one day away from starting a new life! God bless you friend!

 

Dude, what?! Its not okay to reach your 40th and youre still a virgin. That means you're a bonafied Incel.

 

I lost my virginity at 14 and then went on to be a massive man whore. Until I eventually fell in love, got burnt and got stuck in the fap zone.

TBH if I could have my time over I wish I hadn't been so premiscous. It's not good for the soul.

You have the opportunity to give yourself to one true love. So get off the porn, get in the gym not for aesthetic reasons but self confidence and go find her. And find some gratitude, at least you're not 60. Still plenty of time at 40

 

If you never fapped in your whole life and you were a 40 yo virgin I’d be like big deal. But someone who faps their whole life and just can’t get any is kinda pathetic. No offense.

 

You should be proud of being a virgin. I lost mine to a prostitute when I was 31 and I have regretted ever since.

 

OP left but this thread has some pearls worth keeping. I'm talking about @elevate 's posts.

I'm serious. Taking to the heart what he said. I'm also a virgin, no same in saying it.

 

OK, guys, I don't want to be mean here, but have you actually thought why being a virgin is looked down upon on? The inability to attract a female speaks for itself, you do not possess the qualities needed to do so. And that is something. Don't tell yourself bullshit like that it's "fine" and ok. If you don't have the courage, confidence, social skills, overall fitness and wealth a woman is not going to let you have sex with her. PERIOD. And that is, by all means, a RED FLAG. You are deemed unworthy to be given access to the highest prize a woman can give to any man - SEX, at least from a biological standpoint. A woman denying you sex means you are going to have any offspring which makes you a failure. From all the males available you could not outcompete the rest and take your claim. Now, I'm not talking about the guys that actually possess those qualities, but still willingly chose not to lose their virginity. I'm not talking about the trashy scum women that would give sexual access to some drunk faced moron either. I am talking to the guys who for some reason or another failed at attracting women and building relationships with them and thus being virgin. In that case, you should be very VERY worried. You have failed at achieving a basic human need due to personal tribulations, which I understand life is ruff for some people more than others but still, the damage is not undone and the underlying problems that actually make you a VIRGIN need to be addressed. So cut the bullshit and face the truth, if you are a virgin it is most likely not by your choice especially in this forum...

 

fapequals, I like the cut of your jib sir.

 

Our normie society always like the pc soft normie answer to everything: "It's okay little Johnny, its okay that no female has ever given you any pussy, its really okay, 40 is not that old to be a virgin". lol

 

I hear you man! The problem I believe affects a lot of men is the fact that a lot of dudes care TOO MUCH about other dudes, their opinions and society in general! I remember telling a lot of my friends while growing up that I was a virgin. I didn't really care. Sometimes I would care and feel silly, but most of the times they all knew! High School years were the worst but hey, they all knew and after they realized I didnt care about their jokes, life moved on and that never became an issue.

I also had never done any real dating and the only girl I dated was my current wife. I remember when I was single girls coming up to me asking me if I had never kissed or other friends asking if it was true that I had never being in a serious relationship and I always admitted. no need to lie to please others. I have to admit that online dating was something really fun, especially because I really spent time getting to know somen women, video chatting them, exchanging long voice messages and the such. I even met some where nothing ever happened and we didn't even go on a date.. LOL.. but the one I met, liked and kissed, I told her before I gave her our first kiss that if I kissed her, I would be kissing her as my wife and she just agreed. It still took about a day of us hanging out till I had the courage to kiss her but when I did, the rest is history. We both waited till we got married to have sex. It's the best thing we did and now we're expecting our first child. God is good and honored our period of waiting. Wish you nothing but the best as well brother! If you ever want to chat DM me! God bless!

 

I always say I'm a virgin but as a matter of fact.

Getting laid doesn't make you a winner, not even in a "biological standpoint". I see so many losers who married then divorced, one of them my school mate, rushed to have kids with a girl now he's a lone dad -- she left him. Any loser without teeth is married, even some beggars are.

So, biological scientists, what do you say of this friend of mine? Is he a winner? But he got laid! Several times probably. I'm a virgin who has a steady career and my status might at any moment change -- he's stuck with his daughter forever. I know it's mean talking about kids like that, but kids do not raise by themselves.

OP seemed very depressed over being a virgin because he added a few more depressing things to it, like being depressed, low confidence and having no job.