This is 90...

Today is day 90 for me. I am tired and not in the mood to write much, but I think it is important to at least note. Thank you to everyone for your encouragement and positivity.

My specific goals were no hardcore P, definitely no camming, O only with my wife, feeling okay about my size.

And for the first thirty to forty days I did this in a strict, almost monk mode fashion- I even tried kerraza. In the last month or so I have lost much of my enthusiasm for NoFap, and consequently I began allowing more p-subs and edging. I do not count these things as a reset on their own, but quite frankly, I figured they would inevitably lead to one. I believe it was by the grace of God, and my wife surprising me by initiating a couple of very timely marital encounters, that they have not.

Benefit that materialized: not feeling like I urgently need to go to confession.

Hoped for benefits that did not materialize: Increase in self-confidence. Increase in productivity due to more "free" time. Decrease in unwanted horniness (except temporary flat-lining).

Benefits that did not materialize, but I did not really expect anyways: super powers of any sort.

 

Thanks, Integra.

You inspire me, too.

I wish I could say I am excited about reaching day 90, it's a thing of the past, I had all these benefits, etc. But really, I'm disappointed in the reboot. I feel like it didn't really do anything for me and I still just yearn to go back to all my old habits.

The one thing that did help a lot was all the encouragement along the way.

 

On a previous reboot I had an AP. This is my second or third successful (in terms

It was helpful, and it taught me that sometimes just talking through things helps.

 

It seems to me that a lot of the super powers are really only applicable to single guys anyways. I mean, why would my wife want me to avoid ejaculation during sex if it makes me more attractive to other women?

 

Update: I have to decided to reset to day 1 of "private goals" due to completion of the 90 day reboot. What this means to me is that at the moment (and really, for the last two days) I am simply not actively abstaining from anything in particular for the sake of NoFap.

 

Looks like you're one day away from the goal yourself- congratulations!

I hope it is not coming across as though I feel there are *no* benefits from NoFap- far from it- but there were a couple specific things that just didn't work out the way I thought they would. I want to be honest with other people about what to expect and not expect:

1) Self-confidence; I have stated on other threads that I have some form of body dysmorphia - irrational concerns about my size. I had theorized that cutting out P and M would improve this, it has not. It might have helped a little but I will need to try some other things. Apparently it is not just seeing the guys in P- it is a deeper and possibly separate psychological issue.

2) Increase in productivity: this is the easiest to explain. I have a full time job, my wife has a full time job, and we have three kids. Take away PMO time and... there still just aren't enough hours/ energy in the day. Particularly if you add in the time spent on NoFap boards.

3) Nothing profoundly amazing happened. I'm mostly the same guy. I just have better control over my sexual urges.

 

An update, 7 days after I finished rebooting...

Folks, I didn't realize how much of an impact my reboot had until I stopped doing it.

A week ago I passed the 90 day streak and I felt like it was sorta pointless and all I wanted to do was give up on NoFap and just enjoy PMO again. I didn't feel any different than when I had started. I reset my counter and decided that I would just do whatever I felt like doing. Then something truly amazing happened:

1) I tried edging/ jelqing for a couple of days with no P or just while watching P-subs. When I was finished I didn't PMO. I just got up and walked away and went to bed or carried on with my day.
2) I took off my P blocker and loaded up some hardcore sites. Then immediately x'ed out because … I didn't want to see any of that.
3) Went to some sex chat sites and... just chatted. When people requested to see more of me or for me to see more of them I actually refused.
4) I had great sex with my wife this week.

In effect, I have not PMO'd in a week and I haven't even been consciously trying not to.

Thanks NoFap.