Need help and advice with femdom/findom fetish?

What advice do your need, you clearly see that this is wrong and with findom is going to cost you if you keep going there.

If you are getting satisfaction from the compliments that you are receiving, which remembers they are only giving in the hope of getting more from you, then perhaps you need to find another source of satisfaction.

Can you join or get involved in any community groups/work where you efforts will receive positive encouragement?

 

Redirecting impulses and finding substitute activities is key with habit alteration. Maybe donate to an appealing charity rather than strumming your kink, knowing full well that you're only energizing it. A charity that help sex addicts, for instance. Or help talented, creative, hard-working people trying to put a roof over their heads. The reward feedback of true charity strikes me as a serotonin boost (actual satisfaction) while feeding a kink (and fishing, imagining, watching, the variety of results) is a dopamine one (addictive sugar high).

Positive feedback you get from women you give things to, in an impersonal manner, is easy to dissect. These are not personal rewards of positive feedback. She doesn't appreciate YOU. She appreciates that the "universe is giving me things, because I'm playing a role". It doesn't make her bad - but it certainly makes her compliments/affirmation impersonal. You could be a bot, as far as she's concerned.

 

Please see a thread I've made in my profile on femdom addiction.

https://www.vox.com/2014/8/26/6066069/swearing-science-obscenity-research
"swearing seems to activate the autonomic nervous system"

https://theshoeman647325124.wordpress.com/category/medicalisation/
"Odynophilic (masochistic) pleasures derived from pain trigger a reaction from the autonomic nervous system."

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16157378
"Especially high levels of serotonin are found in limbic forebrain structures." - This is where swear words come from.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326090.php
"Serotonin inhibits impulsive behavior, while dopamine enhances impulsivity."

https://www.medicinenet.com/paraphilia/article.htm#what_is_the_treatment_for_paraphilia
"SSRIs may be a helpful addition to other treatments, because they tend to decrease sexual obsessiveness and urges associated with paraphilias"

This article says a lack of serotonin can cause "masochistic tendencies".
https://globalharmonycrew.com/test/serotonin-deficiency-test/jgi902569a4534aec310c646c28e78a49b7/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-surprising-health-benefits-of-swearing/
"Psychological & Physical Health. The best health benefits of swearing include increased circulation, elevated endorphin, and serotonin levels, and an overall sense of calm, control, and well-being."

https://link.springer.com/article/10.2165/00023210-199503010-00002
"Based on the available animal and clinical literature, diminished central serotonin (5-hydroxytryptamine; 5-HT) neurotransmission may be involved in the aetiology of human sexual impulse disorders."

https://journals.lww.com/neuroreport/Abstract/2009/08050/Swearing_as_a_response_to_pain.4.aspx
www.web.archive.org/web/20190805030...9/08050/Swearing_as_a_response_to_pain.4.aspx
"The observed pain-lessening (hypoalgesic) effect may occur because swearing induces a fight-or-flight response and nullifies the link between fear of pain and pain perception."

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/06/120621223525.htm
"The study, conducted in rats, adds weight to evidence that immune responsiveness is heightened, rather than suppressed as many believe, by the so-called "fight-or-flight" response."

I use the voice in my head to shout at myself in an aggressive macho voice calling myself a "pussy, faggot, bitch" with "motherfucker" between every word. (It doesn't have to be these exact words, any swear words and offensive names should activate the fight or flight response). I think it's better to do it in sentences rather than individual words as weird as that sounds. Watch "scared straight" episodes and emulate it to sound like the prisoners shouting at you (I think scared straight 99 is the best one). A really good example of how it's meant to sound is the beginning bit of the song "Woodie - Mob Livin". If you feel it stresses you / makes you more alert !keep doing it! and do it when inside and not concentrating on something. I often do it for hours while lying down and have been doing it everyday for months now. (It's very tedious).
When I say voice in the head I mean the voice that you "hear" when thinking about something. There's no need to say it out loud.

 

Giving your money to someone is one half of it. The other half is that she accepts it. Seemingly, accepting a part of you.
Like, duh, but, you see, this gives you an illusion that you're in some kind of relationship with that woman, when, in fact, she has a relationship with her finances, and you have a relationship with a personal which is created out of fantasy according to the statistics of what brings her more income. Nothing to do with an actual person.
You are not in a relationship with a woman when you send her money over the internet. You are giving your resources to a business, and then remain lonely.
If you think you are not lonely, see if you're really sure, because I think the desire to take care and participate in her well-being (illusoryiin this case) could be a way to cope with the feeling of lack of real connection with another human being.
You cannot achieve that by what you are doing with dominatrix. It's an illusion, and you will snap out of it eventually. Do it sooner, before you have even more to regret.

 

See if you can find people who will accept you for exactly who you are. Maybe here on nofap, or somewhere else in real life.

 

Femdom is a developmental issue so it's not "exactly who he is". Going down that path eventually ruins your health.

 

I have the same exact issue I can completely relate to what you were saying. To the point where just reading that was almost a trigger. But yeah I think this stuff is really bad to get into.

 

Are you not tired of repeating yourself in every single femdom thread? YOu give the same response in each femdom thread. Not sure if you'r trolling around here or not but you seem really shady if you ask me with your username "fedmom" > femdom? Who are you kidding?

 

Bro one word of advice. Just dump the findom shit. Avoid any findom related subjects at all costs. Do NOT watch any P anymore. I guarantee you, you will not be attracted anymore to findom after being PMO free for 90 days. Just make sure you don't start watching those damn clips again or visting your little platforms.

 

It's a pun on femdom "fed mom". I'm trying to help people so I don't know why you are being so rude.

 

Not being rude just spitting facts.

 

I do get a bit tired posting the same thing as it's tedious. I've found it's worked amazingly so I think others should know because femdom is so harmful.

 

There is no such thing as "who you are", no man is like that. This is a disorder and learned behavior

 

I think that both of you misunderstood my post, as it was a continuation of the post above.

 

@ultrafabber, @fedmom
Having said that, gentlemen, I think that you believe that a Bdsm-submissive is an insecure and subservient person, and confusing game and fantasy of Bdsm with real powerlessness and social status.
In addition to that, a kind and humble man is not a weak man, and an arrogant man is not a great man. A desire to demostratively dominate is always born out of insecurity and powerlessness. Insecurity and powerlessness are not "natural qualities" of a man.
I think I sound more confrontational than I mean. My desire is not to say that I disagree with your opinion, which I do, but rather to maybe help you find some relief about this topic. Telling yourself that you are wrong to like what you like is okay, it just doesn't get one very far, and doesn't fcure the CAUSE of why a person becomes addicted to pornography at expense of their love life or social life.
Figuratively speaking, we can scold and despise the branches of a tree all we want, but the problem is in the root.

 

You contradicted yourself. Powerlessness is not a quality of a man therefore a bdsm-submissive man is an aberration.

In bdsm dynamics it is the woman that gives away power not the man. A man giving away power becomes woman-like. That's why femdom/cuckold/sissy fetishes are so destructive.

 

Femdom is a VERY unhealthy addiction and it's not how he naturally is or wants to be. You won't become a monster just because you aren't turned on by femdom.

 

Yeah but stop because i think you're concept is not helping people. In the contrary, it doesn't make us feel any better and therefore it's borderline triggering to continue with femdom. I would advice you to keep it simple and give simple advice to people instead. Just tell them to stop instead of giving them tasks that YOU think are helpful for YOU. I've read all of your stuff and it's not helpful for me. It's quite harmful and destroying for a femdom addict if you ask me. So stop with what you're doing or leave the forum.

 

You're advice is useless really. You should stop.