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Im an absolute mess

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Bull3tt, Sep 18, 2019.

  1. Sep 18, 2019 #1
    Bull3tt

    Bull3tt New Fapstronaut

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    I've had enough, I mean it. Porn has been fucking my life up so many times I've lost count. One thing leads to another, then im bingeing wanting more and more. Then I end up seeing escorts to act out my fantasies. To make matters worse I'm married to a lovely wife but i dont feel any attraction to her anymore. I've been on here before and managed to go 45 days before relapsing as in the end it just seems so normal. But I guess thats because ive been doing it so long. I've compromised my health, my wallet and my sanity numerous times, the latest binges have lead me into acting out more and more 'porn star experiences' with escorts looking for something i cant even describe. I've now started frequenting webcam sites like chaturbate, something i thought id never do and have dropped god knows how much cash down that drain. Frankly im just fucked off with all of it.
     
    Bull3tt, Sep 18, 2019
    Bull3tt, Sep 18, 2019
    #1
    blacklabel92 likes this.
  2. Sep 18, 2019 #2
    quit@porn

    quit@porn Fapstronaut

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    It's disheartening to read but, there arrany people facing this but through will power overcoming this.

    Your effort and frustration and visiting this forum itself shows that there is great hope that you will overcome this....

    Keep reading success stories somewhere something will hit you and will give you power to resist the evil temptation s.

    All the best bro
     
    quit@porn, Sep 18, 2019
    quit@porn, Sep 18, 2019
    #2
    Gab238, Optimum Fortitude and Robinthehood like this.
  3. Sep 18, 2019 #3
    blacklabel92

    blacklabel92 Fapstronaut

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    Damn bro. I feel you, all i can say is that your not alone in this. Keep strong!
     
    blacklabel92, Sep 18, 2019
    blacklabel92, Sep 18, 2019
    #3
  4. Sep 18, 2019 #4
    Indurian

    Indurian Fapstronaut

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    There's a very very good chance that you don't feel attraction to your wife because of the activities that you are engaging in. Deal with the lust and the compulsions and you will almost certainly then see how beautiful your wife is (that was my experience).

    I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. I'd recommend that you immerse yourself in the topic and learn as much as you can about the harms that porn and sexual addiction cause. I've realised that I need to invest a lot of time in this in order to deal with the issues that I have. I can say that it is definitely worth the effort though.

    What do you plan on doing to change things?
     
    Indurian, Sep 18, 2019
    Indurian, Sep 18, 2019
    #4
    Gratefulforchange likes this.
  5. Sep 18, 2019 #5
    Gratefulforchange

    Gratefulforchange Fapstronaut

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    Welcome. You are in the right place. I have struggled for years. Not just PMO (that has been a minimum constant for me) but escorts, massage and all kinds of shit. I feel your despair in your post.
    This thing is a mother and it takes time. Just keep moving forward. Like a fullback just keeps moving their feet trying to get another foot.
    I agree with the guy above. Immerse yourself in the culture. Read and learn. Take baby steps. Know that today is all I have and if I stay free today I have a chance. Keep talking about it here. You will find success
     
    Gratefulforchange, Sep 18, 2019
    Gratefulforchange, Sep 18, 2019
    #5

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