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How to tell if a girl is into you

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Fractured Mindset, Sep 17, 2019.

  1. I've never been with a girl and don't see that changing any time soon. Still, I've been thinking, how does a man tell if a woman is actually interested in him, and why can't women be allowed to do any of the work or come forward?

    Please keep in mind I had my first rejection early this year and have been worried about who may/ what will happen to me if I actually get a girl interested in me.
     
    dboy18 and {Ananta} like this.
  2. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    When all your friends start facepalming at you went you are alone with a girl.
     
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  3. One_More_Chance

    One_More_Chance Fapstronaut

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    Usually they say “if you need to ask, then she’s not into you”...

    The only way to find out is to ask her out for a date or make a move. If you wait to long, it usually goes to hell.
     
  4. That's what I figured

    If you could have seen my old coworkers...
     
  5. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    This.
    I think.
    I don't know.
    What is a woman?
     
  6. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

    man u must go to the woamn and suffer the pain of rejection. that is your job as a man, and when you ask the 100th woman and she finally says yes, then you might get a chance. that's how it is.
     
  7. one down, ninety nine to go.
     
  8. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    Hmm, not sure that Trump's approach is the best :)

    Because women don't approach men and aren't very forward in general, sometimes you have to express an interest in them before they will reciprocate. Nothing scary, just talk to them, maybe touch their arm or shoulder a bit, be light hearted and friendly and see how she responds. If you have a good rapport, ask her out for a drink.
    Don't worry about rejection, the only way you get good at this stuff is by screwing up over and over again. Most likely you'll start a relationship before you get very good at it anyway (if that's what you want).
     
  9. If you have the goodies, she will come and tell you, not exactly, but that's what happened to me three times with different women.

    First one asked me out for some lunch and then straight up asked me if I wanted to know her better cause she surely wanted to know me more. Second time was a bit more complicated, she didn't say anything but I realized it anyway. And a couple months ago, the third proposal came, when a girl I have known for over a decade now (we meet like 1-2 time every couple months for just some food, fun etc.) asked me whether I liked her or not.

    So while I didn't get kneeling-on-knees-proposals, it was definitely their call and they made it quite clear. (The first two occurred in 2017, and last one is fairly recent.)

    There are no hard and fast rules, any party can take the initiative. Whether you do it or she does, doesn't make a big difference in the big picture.
     
  10. Bottom line, stop worrying about it and get in there and ask her out! Who cares if she gives you signals or not; short of a ring on her finger or the mention of a boyfriend, she's open game. Besides which, while you're standing around trying to interpret her signals, some other guy will come in and take her right out from under you.

    If you ask her and she's interested and says yes, then you're in, if not, then you'll know where you stand and you're free to move onto the next chick. Whatever awkwardness there is from having popped the question will pass eventually, and since you've made your intentions known, she can't impose the indignities of the friend zone upon you. Its a win either way. (Please note: you will be friend zoned if you don't ask early. All women do this. Granted there are some exceptions, but if you have to ask whether you will be one, you won't. It only comes to guys who aren't invested and couldn't care either way.)

    I cannot stress this enough, please do not worry over this sort of thing. It is completely not worth it and you'll kick yourself for wasting so much time thinking about whether one chick likes you. There is always another girl out there and if they're worth anything they'll like you just for you.

    P.S. I'm going to disagree with some posters. She will not ask you first, so get that out of your head. Its not a helpful way to think.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2019
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  11. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    Well, fine, but he explicitly says he gets away with his behaviour because he is a star, rich, successful, whatever. If you want to be as successful as Trump is with women, you better get filthy rich before you start grabbing pussies.

    Yes it happens, and it has happened to me occasionally, but doesn't tend to be very attractive or desirable women. Might be a cultural difference maybe - where are you from? Here in the U.K., especially outside London, women tend o be shyer and less forward. Unless you like drunk loose women of course (and they have their place!)

    Scaremongering nonsense, all this is normal human interaction. Just be ready to pick up the signs that she is uncomfortable with you (of course!)

    Here we are in complete agreement!
     
  12. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    Although I am not incredibly experienced in the field myself, I do have som experience and know that women care much more about your non-verbal cues than your verbal ones (i.e. your facial expression, body language and movements) since they are hardwired to spot them in detail compared to men. And as your verbal cues goes, your voice tonality and pitch will be more important than what you actually say.
    You can come up with the best lines in the world, she will never reciprocate or show interest (guaranteed) if your body language is poor and displays insecurity, low confidence, doubt and fear.

    As far as rejection goes, it is not that bad after some time since you (after all) will be rejected far more times than you will get accepted, plus most women don't care if they reject you (you are probably forgotten in the next few hours) and if they do care and try to embarrass you, it is just a sign of immaturity, ego and entitlement and such women are never worth it anyway.
     
  13. Baduser

    Baduser Fapstronaut

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    I dont like the first sentence. When you tell you Brain you are not going to achieve something in the future its not going to work for it or put any effort to help you. Be positive, tell yourself you are more then capable to get girls.
     
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  14. That's something I've never considered before.
     
  15. Also... I'd like to make it clear I have not yet found another girl that interests me, I'm just being over paranoid wondering if some random girls (mostly work) may or may not be into me, and I've been worried about developing a physical attraction to a girl like I used to- and that I won't know what to do with myself if that happens (Though I've managed to not let that happen so far).
     
  16. skibum71

    skibum71 Fapstronaut

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    Dude, change your name. How you perceive yourself has a massive influence on what kind of person you become.
    See yourself as a loser, call yourself a loser, identify as a loser ... and hey guess how you will act?
    It's not rocket science.
     
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  17. Daedaleus

    Daedaleus Fapstronaut

    Look for body language, does she smile as you approach or during the conversation? In a group do you find you two to be more focused on each other rather than the others? Does she, and not you, move closer to you while y'all are having a conversation? Little things like that can give you some good indicators.

    But the best indicator? Ask her out on a very casual date. If you're both in school and happen to be in the same class or if you took a course previously that she's taking currently or vice versa, ask for her out for a cup of coffee and a study session. That way it helps take the romantic side of things out of the equation and lets her make a care free decision without having to worry about something like leading you on or anything like that. It also gives you something to focus on and not add pressure on you to keep a conservation/small talk going if you're worried about that.

    If she says yes, great, if she says no thank you, that's fine as well. The biggest victory is that you had the courage to ask a girl out on a date and that's what is important. It gets easier and more comfortable to do the more times you do it.
     
  18. That's pretty much along the lines of of what I tried and what happened to me almost a year ago.
     
  19. Even as I start letting go of my hatred of myself and give myself credit for some things, my fortune doesn't change.
     
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  20. Daedaleus

    Daedaleus Fapstronaut

    Nobody ever bats 1.00 when it comes to romance and asking women out. If you feel vulnerable I would suggest to take some time to really learn to love yourself (emotionally/mentally). Loving yourself is perhaps the greatest thing you can do right now while you continue on your journey. If you rely on someone else to love you then what is going to happen if that relationship fails? It's hard. I'm still learning to love myself unconditionally, flaws and all, for the past 3 years; but it's so empowering when you begin to do it.
     
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