Seeking i guess confirmation

Willwinthis7799 · Sep 21, 2019

Hi cant believe im actually here typing this now at this point in my life. Im about to turn 19 and i been struggling with porn addiction since as young as i can remember. Started out the usual stuff just boobies and gorgeous women on the internet lol and the last 2 years though i know it has turned into a full blown addiction and i hate it. Things got worse psychologically on so many levels this year when i went deep into the rabbit hole and started getting off to transwoman porn its not as excessive but im seeing it come in waves and when it does god do i feel helpless and lost. One big variable that i know for sure that is a strong root of this whole problem is i was molested at a young age. Not sodomized or anything like that. But im just gonna put it on here fuck it. I had to do things orally with 2 different relatives on separate occasions. As i got older and my porn addiction started to ramp up to uncontrollable states, this demon showed itself again and i know for a fact it plays a part in all this. Theres a lot more things i wanna talk about and judging by the posts on here i feel like i can. I literally never post anything on anything ever. Its just not me. This is my first time doing anything like this. Not sure if it’ll get to anyone or whatever. Thanks

Willwinthis7799 · Sep 21, 2019

Also another thing to mention is even though the obvious thoughts of questioning my sexuality once you get deeper in the rabbit hole like transwoman porn has happened but i know for sure that im not gay. I love women ive never had any real problem talking to girls (only i do when the porn usage is ramped up and thats with every interaction at that point) and im as cool a dude as much as the next guy is i hope lol and i know for sure in real daily life i dont feel any attraction towards a man i mean i hang around other guys all the time and im confident to tell a friend when hes looking sharp and handsome and being a killer but im not sexually attracted to him so i know this is the addiction and other deep psychological rooted problems.

rafael33 · Sep 21, 2019

Welcome to the Nofap community.
The NO PMO journey is not easy but worth the effort.
The community will support you.

Maybe you want to make some commitment - not to the community but to yourself.

Willwinthis7799 · Sep 21, 2019

Thanks for your reply of course I wanna make some commitments including NoFap and many others. I have been able to go for a week or 2 at the most without it so i know i can withstand if I really set out for it. Today marks day 1. Im done from here on out.

WWW1974 · Sep 21, 2019

Much older than you so I have been battling this much longer. Had a similar experience when I was younger. I want you to know that there is hope. I started serious last August. From January 2019 to today ...
Perspective ....
Today is 264th day of the year.
No porn = 254 days
Have MO 30 x's

Quite a change from an almost daily Mo'er. If I can encourage you, let me know. Bottom line is that we are all here to help you.

Life's Journey · Sep 22, 2019

Hi Willwinthis7799, welcome, and wishing you loads of strength and good luck to overcome your porn addiction. Thanks for sharing your story. Becoming more open about your issues, both past and present ones, is an important step in overcoming them. The community is here to listen and to help you.

audin · Sep 22, 2019

congrats on looking into nofap! the secret to success is taking baby steps in order to begin changing your lifestyle into one where you don't fap. for example, first go half a day without fapping, then a day. slowly begin to pick up a new hobby to fill the void. good luck

Deleted Account · Sep 22, 2019

Heyyy welcome to the NoFap forum : ) It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!

Here is just some advice:

First and foremost please take a look at each section in the forum, there might be something(s) you may find of big help to you. Feel free to post there :+)

Then secondly I just strongly advise you to be active on your profile(as there quite a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then make daily status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've also got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you encouragement/support.

People (are beginning to) love communicating in the profilesection..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive talk. It would be great to have you join in and support others in the threads, profiles, and journal. Make sure and be grateful for the help you received and help after receiving some. Invest in some people's journeys. We could always use your help and in return you shall receive some as well!

Thirdly, You should also highly consider creating a public journal and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along your journey and offer support to you by way of posting in your journal.

Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!

Willwinthis7799 · Sep 23, 2019

Thanks for the replies guys. On day 3. That’s incredible 1974! I appreciate that insight. Do you still see yourself getting those same almost irresistible urges at this point or once you got past a certain hump was it more controlled? I figure you been keeping yourself busy with other things and even letting that urge go the traditional right way with a good significant other.

Deleted Account · Sep 24, 2019

Hello and welcome!

We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

Getting Started Guide | How to Use theNoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | ForumRules | Glossary

If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

You can also take part in one of the manychallenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!

Willwinthis7799 · Oct 3, 2019

Ive relapsed a few times since i last posted . Im 2 days in now clean. I fucking hate it there really is like this weird hold it has on me. Once im in my porn world i keep going for long stretches of time and then after im in a state of depression and disgust to myself. I dont know what to do other than keep trying. Sorry for not posting anything in a while. This helps a little

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