Fantasizing. Biggest problem for me.

Sexual fantasies? Or just fantasies in general?

 

Do you meditate? If not, meditation can be a useful tool, especially for clearing your mind of unwanted thoughts/fantasies. There are plenty of great free apps on there, I personally use Stop, Breathe & Think app

 

It's called self control and it is the hardest thing to attain. Many of us want to control some environment when we are not even able to control ourselves. Meditation is a good tool as Daedaleus suggested. Seek of wisdom is other that I like even better.

 

I could get on board with this also. Even after abstaining for awhile I still fantasize. My main problem is checking out women in public. I try to not always look, but it’s so hard.

 

I can understand this problem as I'm dealing with the same issue. I'm trying to also build some self-control to abstain from not just PMO but sexual thoughts as well. I think that's the real improvement, since we have conditioned ourselves to keep having sexual thoughts and derive pleasure from them, it's a bad mental cycle or loop. So maybe part of the solution is to seek other ways or activities to derive satisfaction and pleasure from that can replace the need to resort to sexual fantasies.

 

I call them intrusive thoughts.
Just don't linger on them.
Actively change the subject.
Push them out.

Ask yourself a question and think about that.
Or distract yourself by reading or watching some video.
Your brain is screaming out for P.
The next best substitute it can get is your imagination.

 

This is a biggie for us early on. Fantasy is just my brains way of meeting its own need. Porn is images. Fantasy is images. My brain (like mentioned above) is used to a steady diet of sexually images. You brain is just doing what it thinks is right. More images.

Being mindful of my thinking is a practiced art that is the key. I have an affirmation that I say every time a thought pops in.
“ I live in the now. I embrace my new life. I am grateful for all that I am. My life is good”

It can be really hard some days. The thoughts come more and more. I pray. I get busy. I get on here and try to help someone (like now).

The bottom line is I need to create a new habit of redirect. We have power over our thinking. But many of us gave up that power. We have to relearn how to control our thoughts. Really fucking hard. Takes a lot of work. But the results? Freedom.

Keep the faith. You can do this!