You miss porn but your not even horny for it?

I don't have a smart phone and I use a lot of good blockers on my laptop. My friend is the administrator of my computer and holds the password to the blockers.

This blocks all porn, social media, social media content sharing, all vp ns, every proxy site, every anonymous search engine, safe search is permanently turned on on all search engines and can't be switched off, youtube restricted mode is turned on and can't be turned off, app downloads completely blocked, all downloads completely blocked. So basically I can't really see that much arousing stuff on my laptop. Usually when ever I relapse it's to a safe search google image or something like that.

Now I can get my friend to unblock everything for me if I really want it unblocked. But this is something I very rarely ever do.

But yeah I feel like I reach a point where I just miss porn. The strange thing is I'm not even horny when I really miss it. But it just feels like there is something really missing in my life. It's quite strange. It almost feels like I want to feel that level of sexual arousal and excitement again, but it feels like it doesn't exist.

Then eventually after I have felt like this for a while and I do end up back on porn usually at first the porn bores me. But all I can say is it doesn't take much before the porn is exciting me again. Basically I have persevered masturbating to loads of porn flicking about loads of different content, and at first I found it boring, but then eventually I did find something that really got me going and then I did find it arousing again. I guess doing this is really counterproductive. I really feel like a lot of the time I am reaching the stage porn doesn't turn me on anymore. But the strange thing is I also miss feeling that level of sexual excitement and arousal.

Bare in mind when you look at my counter and it says 3 days, so you will think to your self I relapsed 3 days ago to porn. I relapsed to one safe search google image 3 days ago. I found it very boring. It's not in the same league as relapsing to all the stuff I relapse to when everything is unblocked. But it's just I class all artificial sexual stimuli as porn.