MILESTONE - 365 DAYS (no PMO) "monk mode"

SkyFallBack · Aug 7, 2017

good job!

Leonidas_de_Sparte · Aug 7, 2017

im_alive said: ↑

It's so helpful learning about addiction and how it effects a lot of aspects of our lives.

For example I am still struggling with seeing escorts. And every time after seeing one I would go and get something fatty like a burger and fries, some fried chicken or some fish and chips. After reading about addiction and that eating fatty food is a dopamine hit because it's speaks to the oldest part of our brain for survival, I know that i'm trying to make myself feel better after seeing the escort.

This brain of ours is so clever.
Click to expand...

Hi, for escorts issues, I know that a switch from Escorts meeting to RSD activities (PUA) is a fantastic way to forget about escorts.
I found two way to think about it : (it is just my view and it may help, I am trying to add value by sharing true stories)

- What is the best / worst possible outcome for an escort meeting ?

- Well, she is a phenomenal girl and you have a great 1 jour session and you increase your immediate Joy and maybe you release a tension after long no PM period. But that's it. You have an externalisation of your joy and release process ... you are dependent of an external expensive factor that will only fulfil you 1 hour.

- Or she is not that beautiful, tired, bad in bed, and all other negative outcomes... You feel bad after, you would not be happy to see that on the newspaper the morning after. No fulfil from inside, no happyness, no growth. Just rapid 1 hour joy.

- What is the best possible outcome for studying Seduction, Meeting girls, Applying RSD lessons and investing in yourself.

- Well, the best outcome is that you become a hardworker on seduction, you increase confidence with gym, sport, technical RSD skills, good social interactions with girls, going outside your confort zone, building a momentum of energy and confidence, learning humour, growing yourself, adding more value to people, family friends. And in top of that, you would have real rewards from girls : if you are good at seduction, if you make a girl smile and have fun, she will invite you and give you far more pleasure than the escort ? why ? because you earned it, so it fulfil you from the inside : you tell your brain : if your work then you got it, if you grow, then you have better impact. And so on with infinite positive outcome the more you grow. You would be happy to see your hardwork and actions on the newspaper in the morning because people would say : this guy has courage, balls and determination.

- Negative impact : well you get tired and it is painfull because you can't get highest level of girls on day 1, well, it is just life, it is a simple rule of evolution driving every species, if a girl meet me on my first day in the seduction process when I am a loser, probability she says no to me is 99%, but if I approach 5 girls every day and 20 girls every weekend then after 6 months, the probability that the girl says yes for a coffee date is like 70%. so the negative impact if just a positive pain which is fantastic because it teaches your brain to do the " No Pain No Gain " Mindset so basically you are walking in a path of life where you do not have instant gratification / Instant result : this is life and this is exactly the other direction from facebook/insta/porn that give instant fake-external-artificial pleasure/gratificaiton without working. Well, in life no pain no gain, no work no gratification. So it teaches you to go in opposite direction of the society of followers. Which will make you a better man for your family and an alpha man for your wife.

Strength And Light · Aug 23, 2017

It's been pretty quiet @LifeWorthLiving!!! How are things going?

Deleted Account · Oct 8, 2017

Yeah @LifeWorthLiving what happened to your PMO is not an option thing? Why its an option now?

LifeWorthLiving!!! · Oct 8, 2017

pcmaster said: ↑

Yeah @LifeWorthLiving what happened to your PMO is not an option thing? Why its an option now?
Click to expand...

@pcmaster

I am happy to say that PMO is not an option.

After a 13 month run of no PMO, I hit an obstacle at the end of June. I tried to build back momentum, going 10, 11 days 20 days, but would relapse. My mind was not connecting and I could not build momentum. I thought that I fell because of a stressful day, but it still did not add up. For 4 months I would stop and start. The interior freedom that I felt was not there.

@Strength And Light had challenged me to look at my my connections with others about my struggle. At first I did not see an issue, I had opened up about my struggle and victory over PMO with about 5 people.

But last Saturday, it hit me that I had withheld something from the very first person that I shared with, my mentor. I withheld about a flirtatious relationship with a woman at work. This was early June, 3 weeks before I initially relapsed. This secret build up an interior wall between me and my mentor.

I met with my mentor on Tuesday and opened up. The interior freedom returned. I only have 8 days, but I feel free inside for the first time in 4 months. I'm not struggling to add a day. I'm not trying to justify and rationalize. I feel free. When an urge hits or a memory hits, I am able to handle it like I did before.

I also got back to the disciplines that helped me earlier. Cold showers since Tuesday. Getting up at alarm. Motivational talks in the morning. Drawing boundaries with the woman at work. Being open with my mentor.

@pcmaster and @Strength And Light , thank you for the challenge. This is what community is supposed to be. @Strength And Light , I apologize for not responding to your message back in August. It rang true and had to sink in.

Lesson? We are as sick as our secrets.

GOD'S PEACE

Strength And Light · Oct 9, 2017

LifeWorthLiving!!! said: ↑

@pcmaster

I am happy to say that PMO is not an option.

After a 13 month run of no PMO, I hit an obstacle at the end of June. I tried to build back momentum, going 10, 11 days 20 days, but would relapse. My mind was not connecting and I could not build momentum. I thought that I fell because of a stressful day, but it still did not add up. For 4 months I would stop and start. The interior freedom that I felt was not there.

@Strength And Light had challenged me to look at my my connections with others about my struggle. At first I did not see an issue, I had opened up about my struggle and victory over PMO with about 5 people.

But last Saturday, it hit me that I had withheld something from the very first person that I shared with, my mentor. I withheld about a flirtatious relationship with a woman at work. This was early June, 3 weeks before I initially relapsed. This secret build up an interior wall between me and my mentor.

I met with my mentor on Tuesday and opened up. The interior freedom returned. I only have 8 days, but I feel free inside for the first time in 4 months. I'm not struggling to add a day. I'm not trying to justify and rationalize. I feel free. When an urge hits or a memory hits, I am able to handle it like I did before.

I also got back to the disciplines that helped me earlier. Cold showers since Tuesday. Getting up at alarm. Motivational talks in the morning. Drawing boundaries with the woman at work. Being open with my mentor.

@pcmaster and @Strength And Light , thank you for the challenge. This is what community is supposed to be. @Strength And Light , I apologize for not responding to your message back in August. It rang true and had to sink in.

Lesson? We are as sick as our secrets.

GOD'S PEACE
Click to expand...

Hey no worries about not getting back. I've thought about you a few times recently and figured you were stuck in a battle with PMO based on your lack of recent activity here on the site. I'm glad to hear about how you're up and running again!

Francois134 · Oct 9, 2017

Well done, I'm new to this and hope I get where you are

Deleted Account · Apr 27, 2018

Gratz on 30 days man ! You did it !

myspirithurt · Apr 29, 2018

Thanks for sharing. I need stuff like this from people who are farther along than where I am. Very helpful!

Deleted Account · Jun 3, 2018

I think I know why you relapsed man. because you got so close to 500 days that become too confident and not careful. That lead to dangerous situations that lead to relapse. And now you feel like your streak is so low that theres nothing to lose.

Stay strong and keep fighting !

Deleted Account · Jul 2, 2018

Insightful post thanks

Deleted Account · Jul 3, 2018

LifeWorthLiving!!! said: ↑

This afternoon at 523 I hit one year no PMO. Some call it "monk mode" or "hard mode."

A year ago, my relapse pattern seemed set in stone. 3-5 days, then I would look at porn nightly for a couple of weeks. I would need 2 hour blocks of time and would find that late at night. Always tired, always exhausted, always ashamed. Triggered by every beautiful woman, living in weakness, living in reaction to the next trigger.

A year ago, I felt led to make a change in my life - and then started looking up information about porn / masturbation addiction recovery. It was then that I realized that there was an online community of people with the same problem- and that many of them were going 30, 60 and 90 days without pornography. Realizing that people had found freedom and that they were happier and thinking clearly - made this thing seem possible. At that point, I didn't know what PMO stood for.

I started learning -

1. About how 2 parts of my brain work. That I have a limbic brain that brings up urges, but it does not have a moral compass. The compass is found in my pre-frontal cortex, where reasoning takes place. I looked up online to find out where these 2 parts were located in the brain - this helped. Being able to see where the limbic brain is located and where the pre-frontal cortex is located, empowers the pre-frontal cortex and weakens the limbic. It's not all mush - but sections.

2. I learned about dopamine production - the neurochemical reward that felt so good. This neurochemical is used so that I keep doing things that keep me alive. I learned that this neurochemical is good, but that there are ways to hack the system, to effectively break into the drug cabinet of my brain and overload the dopamine receptors. PMO is a way to hack into the dopamine cabinet in my head - a huge brain hack and overload.

3. I learned that the consequence of brain hacking is devastating. Receptors will partially shut down to limit the overabundance of dopamine that I acquired with the PMO brain hack. When all is said and done, the receptors are still, temporarily, shut down - to the point that normal joys of life can't produce enough dopamine to plow through shut down receptors. Receptors have to re-open.

4. I learned that there is a healthy dopamine hit from connecting with others about PMO recovery, that the community connection gives the brain a reward - and that it will carry the brain through as the receptors are adjusting.

5. I learned that my pre-frontal cortex is a POWERFUL tool against the limbic brain. If I speak with authority, the pre-frontal cortex lights up because I am forming words. The limbic brain then reacts to the pre-frontal cortex's authority like a demanding child who has been scolded. (In my childhood, the pre-frontal cortex was not fully formed and I was mainly driven by the limbic brain. If my father raised his voice, I listened. The pre-frontal cortex is like the voice of my father, and when I tell the limbic system "NOT TODAY" or "NO - THIS IS NOT AN OPTION" or "ABSOLUTELY NOT - NO" - the limbic system STOPS suggesting things, like I did as a kid.) I use "authoritative voice" daily. It is key to my recovery. Don't knock it til you try it. This point was KEY ... I REPEAT... KEY to being successful here.

6. I learned that if I have an urge - that I can ride it out. I don't have to give in. "Blue balls" are relieved with urination - it passes through.

7. I learned that prayer is the foundation of all things. Grace set my brain free from the get go. I have not exercised the authority that God gave me all along - until this past year.

8. I learned that as my receptors heal, the little things in life will trigger healthy dopamine production. The idea of this used to seem impossible - almost "lame". A sunset, a conversation, a great meal - all have the potential to trigger healthy levels of dopamine - and open receptors treat the healthy level of dopamine like a feast.

9. I learned that I have been blind through life - from the brain hacks. I have not seen my strengths or my weaknesses with true clarity. I learned that I still have more to go in becoming a better man.

10. I learned that the best is yet to come. I can use my experience to help others. This keeps me aware of myself and effective to others.

This has been the best year of my life! I am grateful to God and to so many who have been committed to recovery.

After a year of this, I can handle urges very effectively. My main drive is to protect my brain from brain hacks - no PMO and at the same time no intentional fantasy. The second that I catch myself unintentionally thinking about a lustful thought - I deal with it quickly.

The big thing for me was not doing this alone. Online support, combined friends that you trust and a connection with God that you trust even more - is essential.

I hope that his will inspire someone who is struggling like I did for way too many years. This CAN be done. We need to stop thinking that its impossible. My next milestone is 500 days.

GOD'S PEACE!!!
Click to expand...

This is an awesome read. Go strong

artifact · Jul 7, 2018

Great post. Congrats on your success. I've made it 56 days which is about twice my previous all time record. I feel like a true "Fapstronaut" but out here in space it is scary. The last few days have been really tough and I've been wondering how much longer I can make it. Reading these success posts like yours are giving me the confidence to keep going. I've had enough of the porn and misery, that's for sure.

Cool_Bro · Jul 7, 2018

LifeWorthLiving!!! said: ↑

This afternoon at 523 I hit one year no PMO. Some call it "monk mode" or "hard mode."

A year ago, my relapse pattern seemed set in stone. 3-5 days, then I would look at porn nightly for a couple of weeks. I would need 2 hour blocks of time and would find that late at night. Always tired, always exhausted, always ashamed. Triggered by every beautiful woman, living in weakness, living in reaction to the next trigger.

A year ago, I felt led to make a change in my life - and then started looking up information about porn / masturbation addiction recovery. It was then that I realized that there was an online community of people with the same problem- and that many of them were going 30, 60 and 90 days without pornography. Realizing that people had found freedom and that they were happier and thinking clearly - made this thing seem possible. At that point, I didn't know what PMO stood for.

I started learning -

1. About how 2 parts of my brain work. That I have a limbic brain that brings up urges, but it does not have a moral compass. The compass is found in my pre-frontal cortex, where reasoning takes place. I looked up online to find out where these 2 parts were located in the brain - this helped. Being able to see where the limbic brain is located and where the pre-frontal cortex is located, empowers the pre-frontal cortex and weakens the limbic. It's not all mush - but sections.

2. I learned about dopamine production - the neurochemical reward that felt so good. This neurochemical is used so that I keep doing things that keep me alive. I learned that this neurochemical is good, but that there are ways to hack the system, to effectively break into the drug cabinet of my brain and overload the dopamine receptors. PMO is a way to hack into the dopamine cabinet in my head - a huge brain hack and overload.

3. I learned that the consequence of brain hacking is devastating. Receptors will partially shut down to limit the overabundance of dopamine that I acquired with the PMO brain hack. When all is said and done, the receptors are still, temporarily, shut down - to the point that normal joys of life can't produce enough dopamine to plow through shut down receptors. Receptors have to re-open.

4. I learned that there is a healthy dopamine hit from connecting with others about PMO recovery, that the community connection gives the brain a reward - and that it will carry the brain through as the receptors are adjusting.

5. I learned that my pre-frontal cortex is a POWERFUL tool against the limbic brain. If I speak with authority, the pre-frontal cortex lights up because I am forming words. The limbic brain then reacts to the pre-frontal cortex's authority like a demanding child who has been scolded. (In my childhood, the pre-frontal cortex was not fully formed and I was mainly driven by the limbic brain. If my father raised his voice, I listened. The pre-frontal cortex is like the voice of my father, and when I tell the limbic system "NOT TODAY" or "NO - THIS IS NOT AN OPTION" or "ABSOLUTELY NOT - NO" - the limbic system STOPS suggesting things, like I did as a kid.) I use "authoritative voice" daily. It is key to my recovery. Don't knock it til you try it. This point was KEY ... I REPEAT... KEY to being successful here.

6. I learned that if I have an urge - that I can ride it out. I don't have to give in. "Blue balls" are relieved with urination - it passes through.

7. I learned that prayer is the foundation of all things. Grace set my brain free from the get go. I have not exercised the authority that God gave me all along - until this past year.

8. I learned that as my receptors heal, the little things in life will trigger healthy dopamine production. The idea of this used to seem impossible - almost "lame". A sunset, a conversation, a great meal - all have the potential to trigger healthy levels of dopamine - and open receptors treat the healthy level of dopamine like a feast.

9. I learned that I have been blind through life - from the brain hacks. I have not seen my strengths or my weaknesses with true clarity. I learned that I still have more to go in becoming a better man.

10. I learned that the best is yet to come. I can use my experience to help others. This keeps me aware of myself and effective to others.

This has been the best year of my life! I am grateful to God and to so many who have been committed to recovery.

After a year of this, I can handle urges very effectively. My main drive is to protect my brain from brain hacks - no PMO and at the same time no intentional fantasy. The second that I catch myself unintentionally thinking about a lustful thought - I deal with it quickly.

The big thing for me was not doing this alone. Online support, combined friends that you trust and a connection with God that you trust even more - is essential.

I hope that his will inspire someone who is struggling like I did for way too many years. This CAN be done. We need to stop thinking that its impossible. My next milestone is 500 days.

GOD'S PEACE!!!
Click to expand...

Congratulations Brother for this great achievement. It seems that you are on another streak with 39+ days. Hope will get to 1 year this time also. Your post is really inspiring as well as knowledgeable from the scientific point of view. I get to know various new brain chemistry points.Thanks for that. Good luck Brother !

nofepfepforlife · Jul 9, 2018

LifeWorthLiving!!! said: ↑

Thanks for the reply.

Working on a building virtue of temperance (beating gluttony). have kept a food journal since May 6. It keeps me aware of what I am eating. It is changing patterns. I plan meals and eat better. Lost 6 pounds so far. I used to just graze like a cow and ride the dopamine wave, unaware that it was addictive. The journal is in a notebook. Works great for me.

Regarding work - getting up at a specific time. Building virtue of perseverance. Shower , pray and attack the day. Made specific promises to myself to get to appointments early. The healthy dopamine kick of accomplishment is so much better than the hyperfocus dopamine in procrastination / rushing. Keeping a day count on perseverance commitment.

My focus (chastity, temperance, perseverance)

Day by day. Building virtue. Becoming a better man.

GOD'S PEACE!!!
Click to expand...

how many days in did it take for your morning woods to return and stay properly hard? mine are all over the place and frankly it can be quite a bit scary. i dont think ive had a full proper hard erection in months.

Legit1 · Jul 9, 2018

And here I am just a worm at day 3...

I went to day 4 about 2 weeks ago but then kept relapsing after day 1 multiple times

Deleted Account · Aug 19, 2018

Nice to see you back on bigger streak Man ! I got big streak too but now I understood you and other guys who could not last longer than few weeks after breaking streak.

wearefamily87 · Sep 22, 2019

1 year monk mode... #legend

Andyst343 · Sep 22, 2019

wearefamily87 said: ↑

1 year monk mode... #legend
Click to expand...

Well done man.. just proves can be done. fantastic

Ashu17 · Sep 23, 2019

Just Amazing journey Bro!

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MILESTONE - 365 DAYS (no PMO) "monk mode"

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