time to whine

It's not easy to get out of a rut that's spiraling you downwards. You experience how things are and the tendency is to think, feel, and behave in a way that feeds how things are. You're low on belief of things changing for the better. So you try to escape the problem or merely try to survive it. All of this leads to nothing changing or it getting worst which causes you to experience more of how things are and to reinforce how things are.

You won't get out of this downwards spiral if you keep focusing on how things are. You have to develop the ability to see and believe beyond it. Towards something better and work towards it. If you don't believe that you can achieve your goals, then you'll give a mediocre effort that's not enough to create real change because the less effort you give the less disappointed you'll be. You can't tolerate and be fine with how things are if you want to get out of this situation. You have to take massive, urgent, and drastic efforts towards what you want. It might not work and there's no guarantees, but that's what it takes to live the life that you want to have and to become the person you want to be.

It's safer and more comfortable to stay where you are despite it being a bad situation. Most people rather experience a whole life of quiet desperation rather than sacrifice short term comfort by experiencing intense emotional volatility for the possibility of achieving their long term goals. Dabbling, playing it safe, mediocre effort, tolerating where you currently are, and tip toe'ing safely and comfortably through life until you die is not the way to develop a reality that you desire.

The life that you have right now was built with everyday small decisions. It was built brick by brick until you built a big wall. So why would you expect anything different about creating a different life? It takes a lot of effort, risk, and time. Delayed gratification.... but most people prefer instant gratification which leads to a situation such as yours.

No advice in the world is going to help you if you don't start helping yourself and taking it very seriously. You can't dabble your way out of this.

 

First thing, quit willingly fapping every time you feel depressed. You drag yourself down further this way.
Read this.

 

I really hope things turn around for you my friend. I've been there for sure, just know that life is worth living even if it seems like it sucks, when I was faced with the same exact situation I became a fighter. This world with all of its gile isn't going to get me down, because life is a gift. Think about it, you're on a rocky planet with a suspended atmosphere that provides you with everything you need for sustainability.

In short, and I know sometimes when you are knee deep in it, it's hard to do but just give thanks. Giving thanks will go a long way with lifting up your perspective on life.

 

First step was signing up for this forum. I have been where you are (and I didn’t even have the good career). It has taken me years, but things are finally starting to look a bit better for me after a lot of work. Do feel free to start a journal on this forum so that the community can help and support you!

 

At least you got a good streak? That is something, isn't?

Have some hope. You don't really have other options until you come up with some ideas. Some suggested journaling, I say sit and think over what do you want from life, once you figure it, next time is make a plan.

 

Oh, I didn't see that coming. Indeed, makes little sense to update the counter every time if you keep relapsing. It sucks. When I'm in a similar state, no motivation, depressed, I just try to pay attention to how I am feeling. How do you feel before and after a "relapse", after you PMO? A few times this was enough to motivate me. I would write about how I was feeling before and after PMO, the act on itself may carry some answers.

 

My eyes are rekt, legit read the title as "time to whore". Did a double take immediately.