35 and Older Accountability Group

I just relapsed. I'm disappointed in myself for giving in. I have to find a way to deal with alone time. I keep failing in this area. It seems like as soon as my mind noticed that I will be alone for a significant period of time, it kicks in overdrive with urges. Does anyone have any advice about dealing with alone time?

 

No magic bullet for me. I try to use small urges as a reminder to change things up and get away from triggers. If an ad catches my eye, I don’t look at it. I log off and go for a walk or something.

I am the worst at stopping once I make small
mistakes, so I am learning to be more vigilant about the early stuff.

But first and foremost you are still fighting. Keep on keeping on!
——
Day 16 check in.

I had a rough day where my brain wanted to take me off the rails. I fought it off and I’m so glad I did. I feel much better today. Those are the kind of urges I need to learn I’m not powerless against.

—-edit—- relapse. Ugh. Need to try to make it an isolated event.

 

Checking in..

 

Check in wednesday .
Sunny and warm now after the rain . Clean nature . Calm air and singing birds

 

Haha ...nice one

 

Truth ...people around as will benefit from our clean life. Its not just us ...but our friends and family. I wish Im more responsible

 

Stay away from the computer or your phone where you can, get productive, open your bible and start reading the Word.

 

Ok, so I’m back again, and have had to reset the counter.
Tripped up by old habits again, and general boredom. I know what I need to do, but doing it is also part of the struggle!

However, on a much more positive note, looking at the silver lining of this current cloud, this NoFap process has reduced my P almost completely! Instead of daily, it is now hardly an issue, and it’s not even P that trips me up most of the time. M has reduced from daily to monthly, or even stretching out a couple of months at a time. To me this is huge progress for 2019, and goes down as a “Win” in my books.

I do realise that there is more to achieve. I have set the goal of 90 days. I will achieve it.

 

Yes, the same thing happened to me. No magic solutions.
A few tips than served me:

• Instead of resorting of PM, enter this site, write a post, interact with us. Invest time reading stories of other people in the same fight
• Plan your time and minimize loneliness spaces
• Get involved in projects that excites you, and if they are for the benefit of others, the better
• Open all the windows and doors... combat the feeling of privacy and secrecy
• In my experience, God's spiritual help is critical. Pray, reed Bible, attend church helps a lot.

Hope this can help you too.
See you @Pirate3819 !

 

Yes, important to count your victories and to look at the general picture, not just the timer! Glad you are not wallowing in shame, etc!

 

I remember back some time ago when the group membership was a revolving door. Glad to see this level of stability these days!

Thanks Artifact. But I lost it again, lol. Back to zero.

 

Day 19. No PMO, no oggling, no sexual fantasizing. Staying firmly on track.

 

Thanks @Timber . No point wallowing. There’s things to be learnt from each reset, although that is never a good excuse for a reset!
As some of you here that have known me for a while will know, I’m researching a lot into PMO and into OSHO & Buddhist learnings. I had just finished a very good book by Pema Chodron on breaking habits. One that I need to read again now! In the book, one of the teachings was to hold onto an urge, lean into it, learn from it, see what it does to you, and see how it triggers you. I think I may have leaned in a bit too far.
In Pema’s book there were so many sections that just resonated with what I, and I assume a lot of you, are going through. It is worth a read.

Meanwhile, onto day 3 of the restart... off to meditate before work.

 

Yeah there’s a lot of wisdom in the meditative approach of observing yourself without acting. It saved my ass a few times. My biggest trigger is stress, which makes me feel vulnerable.

I really like meditation - observing it all and letting it pass. I am fascinated by breath. I’m currently experimenting with wim hof style meditation as a way to deal with stress.

 

Relapsed! Reset.

The past four weeks have been a total mess. I feel like I got hit by a bus and the damn thing kept coming around the block so it can hit me again.

I’m picking myself off the floor, dusting myself off, and starting from scratch. Here we go again...

 

Congrats on 90 days!

 

Day 0. "O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?"

 

Check in friday . I wish this addiction is behind us , but is not. Long way for us engaged in battle