Do all you guys binge when you relapse?

You have to see it like this when you are on a good streak lets say 1 month every time you relapse its like you have and open wound and every time you are hitting that wound it will never heal and blood will be keep spitting out but when relapse once and learn from the mistake you go on a even further streak then before you let that wound heal overtime thats the same with your brain

 

Shame can lead me to binge. "oh, I just screwed it up and fell again, so why don't I just start negative self talk which will lead me to more failure (binge)." Sanity: Learn from the slip and recommit no matter how many times you have to recommit. It's worth it.

 

Before I started this streak (which is the only one I have ever had, did lots of binging. I figured I wanted to get it out of my system.

If I were to fall I don’t think I would binge because it would be counter-productive.

I am basically too proud to fall. I no longer care about my counter like I needed to at first. I assume that is a good thing to move to higher goals than just a day counter but it’s much more complicated. Instead of “do I pmo or no” — now I have to say what am I doing with my free time, my money, my seeds.

 

Yesterday I relapsed and I haven't been able to get up from this, I work, I do things, but I go again to the same shit. It's like my mind says: whatever, you already messed up, it's not worth to fight anymore, just enjoy it. I know this is not true, but it's like there are two mes. One says whatever, it's not worth it, you always end up failing anyway, the other says it's better having fallen once than twice... but the first one seems to win, so the second one says it's better having fallen twice than three times.... I am there right now, trying to find a good hand to hold and get up from this relapse ! So, I think I always binge when I relapsed, that's for me the worst thing, only when I am really messed up or I do something really shamefull I stop and continue with my life and a new retry. I am writing this because I want to stop right now, I want be able to keep this relapse as it is right now, not once anymore.

 

The key to this is not why you do it. It’s not how you do it.

It’s if you do it WITH someone or not.

 

My binges usually last weeks or months. I have this mentality of "oh, I screwed up, might as well blow it all". I'm the guy who pierces the other 3 tires because of one flat tire.

One thing that has been bugging me lately is, although I am getting better streaks, my binges are becoming worse. My last time, I watched gay porn, just for the sake of it, to check if I was still straight. This sounds crazy to me now, but at the time, it seemed a valid reason.

I agree that binges are a major setback. At least I try to stick to the porn I know when I relapse, mainly because I "missed" it so much, I go there to refresh my memory and check if this thing was all that I was imagining.

It never is. I end up finishing on something else.

This is a nice question most people don't want to talk or admit they binge on relapse.

 

Exactly. We say things like “it was the addict brain “ to distinguish ourselves from our actions. Admitting them, owning them is super tough. I am curious to watch this thread to see how people respond —/ either admitting they embrace their darkside or just talk about their projections and aspirations.

I can’t stand the latter I used to do that for years. The guys in SA that disown their dark side aren’t convincing. “It was just a phase”, or “I’m good man,” these are things we say when we have multiple reasons to deny failure instead of finding its purposes in our lives.

Addiction is a powerful motivator if you bypass the shame and look to understand its workings and how much of it speaks of your potential and the Creator who designed you to overcome this obstacle.

 

Binging is definitely way worse. I remember when I had times where I would just binge watch porn all day. I remember I sat in my room for 12 hours straight once. Just watching Porn, swiping through websites like tumblr and Reddit, using chat websites. I had a period in my life where this was happening frequently. Basically my dick went completely dead. I would be stroking a flaccid penis and still getting pleasure from it. Sounds absolutely terrible when I look back on it. I’m still addicted to Porn but I don’t ever do it like I did before.

I believe that PIED and escalation to weird genres only happen when you binge watch.

If from the very first time you watched porn. You only watched 1 single video and was done within 10 minutes and did this everytime. I don’t think that person would ever develop PIED. The negative affects of porn only come when you keep clicking new videos, always chasing that new high. That’s when you run into problems. Obviously it’s almost impossible to only watch one video. Porn websites are designed to keep you coming back. As soon as you click on one video. You see another thumbnail right next to the one you’re watching and before you’ve even finished with that video your currently on. You’re already curious and clicking on another video.

 

I made a topic about this a while ago https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/do-you-binge-when-you-relapse.203154/

The vast majority of users here replied they binge. I personally used to binge like my life depended on it.

 

I tend to binge after a relapse, especially if I'm hungover. The last time I was pretty tamed though. I slipped up a few times to some photos which is a major improvement compared to what I usually end up doing. It was easier to get back on the wagon.

 

Can you binge after a relapse and just not escalate to weird genres, but still be addicted to the high (and sexual instant gratification) the images give you?

 

Hi Skaterdrew,
whenever I lapse after a period of abstinence,be it weeks or months, I binge! This binge will last from a week to six months.
It is as if I am making up for the time I did not PMO. I had issues with alcohol. I would drink to gross excess then I'd get very depressed. I'd remain sober for a week then do it all over again!
I gave up alcohol sixteen years ago. But have replaced it with overeating and PMO.
Clearly I have not properly addressed my addictive tendencies. I believe this is the case with you also! The crucial part is not to lapse. Which I know is easier Said than done. Take care and good luck!

 

Yes, after my last relapse (last weekend), i've had multiple binges, 3 to be exact, over the last week. These binges consist of one session with 3-5 orgasms to porn. Basically I would go until the skin below the glans would start to tear or become too painful to make it worth it (i'm circumcised).
This is how I've conditioned myself to masturbate, I used to have a session like this every day (EVERY DAY) during the week, and two or three on the weekends.

For some reason I get caught in a cycle that is hard to break, a mixture of depression from the relapse (even if I try not to beat myself up) and the chaser effect seem to be very powerful. I can never stop at one and end it.

 

Addictions are lifelong battles, I'm convinced. But it's not something to be depressed about, just deal with it head on and honestly. It's just the way it is. After my 101 day reset, i thought I was "good", and i really did feel good, and cured. I tested myself successfully by visiting some web sites and then turning them off. But after a while I did that more and more and realized I was reestablishing my addictive pattern again. Figured I still had it under control though I was in a cycle of mini streaks followed by binging into stupidity. I don't have a booze problem, but this thing has got me from an early age, and I have to stay on top of it.

 

not on alcohol but on porn yes