I feel so helpless and lost even though I shouldn't

You're going to keep trying. That's how it happens. I don't think anyone could beat this in their first few trys, and if they could I doubt they were as deeply addicted as I was and what sounds like you are. Each time you fight it, it undermines the strength the addiction has over you. Trust me, even if you can't see it, it does. You can't give up because your past attempts didn't work out. That's a surefire way to end up going in circles, or worse, giving into the addiction and letting it consume you. Ya, I'm speaking from experience on that, and crazy enough I was 16 when I too wanted to stop but seemingly couldn't do it. I too felt hopeless about defeating it and it broke me down to where I just stopped trying, and that was the worst choice I ever made. I honestly know how hard it is, really. I can remember the feeling back then of just sheer impossibility at the thought of overcoming this, but, eventually, I did. It took a lot of time and a number of steps backwards before I started taking meaningful steps forward, but I got past it, and I know it's the same for you, only you don't have to make the same mistake I did in giving up.

I know you said you've done the rounds on all the other resources, and you probably already know from places like your brain on porn, but if not do your research on what science we know about this and addiction in general. It helps to know that this isn't some indomitable, perverse side to yourself, it's just biology, biology that you can change. I imagine you've gathered a lot of advice from all the outlets you mentioned, but if there's something you're wondering about, I can offer what helped and worked for me.

 

I was in your place , i was cought in circle of relapsing and fapping and I could get out of that hardly

Just fight and you will win believe me I'm writing this while I'm so sad and Happy in the same time because I relapsed after 13 days I'm writing this now as I'm writing it for myself

And if you don't believe me
Here's the link of these days when I was cought in the circle of fapping

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...ou-can-help-me-i-have-a-lot-of-issues.241767/

It was the first post for me here and I got a lot of help which make me able to stay for 48 days then 13 days which i relapsed yasterday
And actually you begin so early which is good thing

I knew about nofap about 2 years ago and joined this site about 3 months ago and during this 3 months I got a lot of help

And remember nothing comes easily

 

I'm probably just writing things you already know now. It all starts in your mind. Your neurological pathways have been build by your addiction to porn. It's probably that far, that if you've any kind of emotions, you are thinking about porn. I, for myself, have to think about M when I'm feeling stressed, lonely or depressed.

Right now, I managed to control my thoughts. It's a stupid, but simple reason. I really love playing videogames. I realized that, if after I've masturbated, I lose my concentration and I'm extremely nervous when playing against others. I'm really pissed about that fact, because when I'm doing M, I'm not as good as I actually am.

Try to realize the things, you're destroying by your M. It's going to help you to control your thoughts. Also, It's going to cut the "bad" neurological pathways and creates the new better ones.

Keep on trying mate, but this time give it a tactical approach.

 

Stop talking about the problem, because obviously you have a problem with the problem itself. You don't need to repeat what you were doing wrong. Focus on what you are doing right, day by day, and you will be free from that evil.

 

don't victimise yourself

 

It sounds like you have sexual masochism disorder which is curable with sertraline and increasing serotonin which I've found swear words do very effectively. I have a thread on my profile on this if interested.