[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 2/90

 

check in saturday

 

Almost like myself mate, we'll get it right this time. Just believe and stay STRONG!!

 

I slipped yesterday. After 67 days without pm. Longest streak ever. I'm not sorry. I don't regret. I now know it's possible. I fell but I have no intention of staying down.

00/90

 

Challenge completed. Day 90 of 90. It has been tough but I really wanted to pin this down. You can make it,moving to the next challenge.

 

Day 16

 

44/5400
Not much to say, patienly counting
Hope that dosen't mean im losing enthusiasm.........

 

Starting now !

 

7/90

 

That's annoying.... I knew I was never gonna do that again but somehow...

 

2/90

 

great quote brother . let´s do this!!!

 

awesome bro. your brain has rewired a lot . you´re almost free, keep going!!!!

 

congratulations brother!!! keep going

 

10

bad day today, i was sad all day long, crying . fucking withdrawal, everything was grey today. fucking addiction, sometimes i just want to smash the damn laptop for all the suffering that i created with it. but of course it´s not it´s fault .
i wish a lot of things were different, i wish i could change the past, i wish i could talk to the young me and tell him to stop before i even start. but i can´t change the past. what´s done is done. luckly now i´m on the right path, and that´s what matters.

today i also remember a inspirational quote from the lord of the rings that shed some light in times of despair. it´s one of my favourites scenes from movies. if you´re going through difficult times brothers, i hope this helps:

"Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

 

Day 48. No significant temptations this round. Recovering from surgery has left me with no extra energy to care about sexual pleasure.

 

6/90..laying awake at the moment, but keeping strong

 

Started Challenges Jan 25, 2019
Relapsed 15/246 Days
Longest streaks 67 and 51 days
Current Challenge 3/90
Day 78 weight training (3X/wk)
Day 14 reduced alcohol, caffeine and deserts
Here is the summary of the video I watched. Hope it helps someone as much as it did me.

Link:

My Experience and Gabe Dawgs video: “How to Crush Urges and Effortlessly do NoFap”

Key Points:

• nofap is effortless, as easy to do as it is to breath, follow my steps and the urges will disappear
• goes against 12 step programs of being powerless and a victim to the addiction
• the list of nofap strategies (cold shower, workout, try harder, etc) are only running away from yourself since you are the one who feeds your brain it's thoughts – you haven't changed, matured, grown up
• urges are transient, have no power, will pass away and disappear like the wind (he's 2 years clean)
• self transformation = the choices you make in life are a reflection of who you are, own them, then change for the better

The 4 Steps of Mastery:

1) The Understanding:
Why would I want it (PMO)? What has porn ever done for you or given you? Nothing, it ruins your life and makes you a weaker version of yourself. This is the foundation of this method. The idea is to keep the negative repercussions of viewing porn forefront in your mind so when urges hit, they will be dismissed by the logic/rational center of your brain which says, if this has only brought me pain and suffering, who would want this shit in their life?

Here are some "Understandings" from my (Fredi) experience with PMO
“The Good”

• fleeting pleasure which is usually over in minutes or dragged out for hours by edging in a drug like trance
• can temporarily relieve horniness but more commonly used to self-medicate and escape negative emotions such as loneliness, bordom, anxiety, rejection, frustration, hangovers, etc.

“The Bad”

• numbs emotions so you don't know what you feel or what direction you need to go
• causes negative feelings like depression, guilt, shame, anxiety, fear, weakness, unmotivated, unhappiness,
• leads to low self-esteem, brain fog, low confidence, relationship issues from emotional infideility, PIED, fear of women, objectifying women, compulsive behaviour, social anxiety,
• physically weak, poor posture, bad skin (acne in youth), lacking healthy happy glow

“The Ugly”

• porn is a superstimulous like heroin, cocaine, etc and acts on the brain like a hard drug which makes us want more and more novel/taboo pics/videos to get the same dopamine hit (escalates slowly over time as we become more desensitized to the porn we are used to)
• porn often leads to ED since real sex cannot compete with the stimulation of a variety of your favourite porn tabs being viewed at once
• fapping for decades eventually lead to BHP symptoms (peeing issues from an enlarged prostate)

• viewing porn and not ejaculating (in order to avoid relapse) caused an epididymal cyst
• start to look and act like a drug addict (moody, withdrawn, anxious, isolated, etc)

2) The Attitude:

• “Look for the light in your heart” (what matters to you) and fly on the wings of love (follow what it's telling you)

• porn lives in darkness, secrecy and shame, not in the light
• be strong like an unmovable mountain to the urges
• personal power is had by fulfilling your needs, not your wants (not sure what he meant here)

3) The Action:

• be fully committed to recovery and sobriety the rest of your life
• remember your understanding and your attitude when you feel temptation
• get busy doing things and don't focus on PMO
• only think about PMO if you are heading for a relapse
• face the urges head on and don't run from them since you are only running from yourself
• when recovery gets difficult, face it, you can't run from yourself

4) The Mastery:

• keep yourself in alignment with the above 3 steps and your heart
• have a full life doing what you love
• backtrack and heal the step that needs fixing when urges or temptations hit

 

Day one starting again

 

Day 2 done