Focusing on how the woman feels, 0 focus on how men (and myself) feel

This is quite disturbing to write about. I notice that ever since i've been sexually active - starting with fantasizing/pmo - i, for some reason, have been almost 100% focused on how the woman would feel, how does she react etc and i would completely ignore my own feelings as a man. This includes both physical ones (i was numb and has no sensation in penis and i would feel no pleasure) and psychological ones ( how she loses herself etc).

Now this feels weird and wrong, and i think too much empathy can mess you up, especially as a man. Its really backwards to lose focus of yourself and vicariously experience sexuality through others, especially when they are women.

I figured i dont even know i am supposed to feel like because all of this time i was in tune with the woman's emotions only and it would feel like she was leading and i was mearly reacting.

It makes sense that a part of it is because of porn, as you're faced with a dilemma when watching it - ignore the man and how men feel during sex or acknowledge him which then makes you a cuckold.

In short, my thought process was mostly "how does she perceive my #@" instead of "how do i perceive her $%"

Anyone can relate?

 

Yes it does. You are watching the woman you are attracted to and would like to have sex with give herself to another man. While you watch and masturbate. That's deep inside cuckold teritorry.

As for the "chill" remark... just stop using that because it makes no sense.