What's your worst experience with porn?

I’ve overcome the jealousy and am now happy for my friend. However, I cannot forgive myself. I allowed the fantasy of porn to conquer me, and this instance woke me up to the bitter reality. I don’t get much female attention, but that is due to the effects of my addiction. You are right.

 

Only edgers will understand... When you fap for hours it will swell and start looking like an eggplant. Scary as fuck.

 

Reading some of these stories is really sobering. Immense respect to everyone who is able to pull themselves out of holes this deep and into the light as they have. When you're going through hell, keep going.

 

holy damn.

ew..

dude.

i've never hit that point..... i've surfed for like...an hour and a half probably at the longest---wild guess.

 

Scariest - calling in sick for three solid weeks because I was on a binge. I almost lost my job. Hurt my reputation. Almost went suicidal. Never again!

 

Never happened to me, I'll be honest. Longest I ever went was three hours though, maybe that wasn't extreme enough?

 

I have never had that in edging but I have had it in regular sex— we were in the jacuzzi for at least an hour. The next morning I woke up feeling like I ate drywall all night.

It’s from overstimulation/ dehydration i’d Assume. Yeah never heard that called eggplant. It was sore and scary.

 

For me, one time my PMO hit double digits in one day. I was acting out, it was no longer fun or pleasurable, yet I still felt compelled to do it. When I started to develop scares on myself from exercising my equipment too much, I knew something was certainly wrong. Why was I doing something I didn't like?

 

About 2 years ago I had a pretty bad depression season (which lasted for a couple of months)
and I remember myself using porn&masturbation as a way of escape from reality but, sadly, instead of helping me it only escalated the situation.
I was suicidal, hopeless and sad.
I remember myself sitting at the balcony, staring at the walls and crying.
It was the worst experience of my life

 

I can't recall exactly but I would often edge for 5-7 hours straight, that's about when it will start I guess. Takes about 2-3 days for the inflammation to reverse itself.

 

They are all bad---they led me into a deep, dark, filthy pit. Thank goodness I don't have to stay there though!

 

I would spend lots of time searching for videos and opening many new tabs. I would often finish before I even decided on a video to watch. After I finished I would completely lose interest and immediately close all of the tabs/windows. In a few minutes the urge would resurface and I would be really annoyed that I had just closed all the the videos I had found. (i used incognito so i couldn't reopen them) So I would restart my search and the cycle continues.

 

So many worst experiences, let's start with the 'less' shameful. PMO at work:
- To PMO at my desk compulsively (I could lock my office), not even cleaning after O, my trousers with obvious marks, and trying to hide with sweaters around the waist, or just declining meetings, pretending to be very busy.
- Realising that one of the guys I was sexting with worked in the same office building I worked, and recognised him in the hallway. In fact another guy too, but wasn't able to know who he was.
- Being called to the system administrators office to 'discuss' my internet use logs (that was long time ago though)
- Being locked for hours in the office toilet (usually a different floor I worked) edging and PMO.
- Hiding a bag full of lingerie and sex toys, to take to the toilet for sexting.

When I read this now, I cannot understand how I didn't realise I had a BIG problem.

 

I did this cycle. Lots of shame and denial. Huge. Man. It was colossal really.

 

Sometimes I M so long and hard griped that my dick got all swollen and painful. Yet I didn't stop, I used some lube and continue regardless of pain. The next day penis was so swollen that I had hard time taking a piss. But I was back to my daily binge PMO "business as usual routine" as soon as swelling disappeared. I F myself up till complete exhaustion day after day after day...

 

Whoa dude! That's some deep shit! Hope you learned your lesson!

 

I have had plenty of bad experiences with porn during my former PMO-days but one of the worst most have been that moment (at age 14) when I discovered those recordable VHS-tapes in my dad's office desk-drawer. I didn't know what was recorded on them and although it felt incredibly wrong (on a subconscious level) bringing those private tapes up and watch, I was too curious to let it pass. Keep in mind that this was in 2002 before internet-pornography had any streaming capacity to talk about.

However, of course, there was plenty of mixed porn on those tapes (recorded from a few cable-channels) and it was like a Pandora's box opened which was the start for years of misery, anxiety, struggle, shame, and lust-addiction for my part. It didn't strike me then (as I felt more ashamed about having invaded my dad's privacy than anything else) but many years later, I realized how screwed up he must have been in order to watch porn while being married with children. Because, those few times he caught my tiny stash (consisting of 2-3 magazines) he just laughed it off and told it was all natural and good for my (and any boy's development) if not using it excessively.
Back in that time, there was very little info out there about the perils of PMO and the few people who even talked about it were mostly radical feminists or preachers who scared me and most boys away from that viewpoint (that porn is bad) with their dogmatic, aggressive and religious rhetoric and messages.

 

Wow thats crazy. Ive edged to porn/cammed all day long and never experienced that. Guess its different for everyone. My balls would be sore for hours and hours after though.

 

I almost died because of my disgusting porn addiction.

Whilst I was abroad on a holiday in New Delhi (India), i visited a dirty shady red light district.
I did not have pmo for 3 days and felt I should relieve the pressure with real cheap sex.
So when the taxi driver dropped me of at the shit hole hooker district I felt my heart beat in my throat.

My modus operandi is to slowly walk back and forth in the red light district and to cherry pick which girl/woman I would like to have sex with,
but somehow I felt rushed and picked a good looking (adult) girl and went inside with her.
The moment I entered the room with her and apparently her pimp, I heard somebody lock the metal door from the outside. klank...
I was trapped. The pimp, who was a pathetic small skinny guy was holding his fist to my face and demanded double the amount
of money (20 bucks instead of 10) I paid him the extra amount of money after he searched my pockets and found the 10 extra bucks hidden in my sock.
The thought crossed my mind to beat the living shit out of this joke of a guy but then I quickly realized this could only escalate to extreme
violence and most likely my death. And winning the fight would not change the simple fact that I was still locked up in a room with x number of guys waiting
outside. Also, because my nasty porn addiction. No body in the world knew I went to the red light district that day. So these guys could easily
rape and kill me and then make my body vanish. So I did the only thing I could do, pay and have sex with the girl.
What shocked me the most was the fact I had amazing (safe) sex with the girl. My dick was rock hard, because of the fear and danger.
I remember the girl getting angry because of the "extra lubrication" durex (deluxe) condom I used
After finishing I put on my clothing and rushed outside and jumped in the taxi to go straight back to the hotel.

I was full of self loathing and this terrible empty feeling of defeat lasted for many days during my holiday.
I never shared this story to anybody else, because I am still ashamed of this dark desire which will always be a part of my identity.
That day I learned that my dick is easily willing to get me into live threatening situations just to get pleased and that I am the only
person that can prevent it. I can't change my past, but I can change what I do from this point on and as a adult man I
can say I will never take these risks again. It's not worth dying for and losing everything I cherish the most.