1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Day 56 / 90 - What are your experiences with depression/mood swings?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by SlightlyAboveAverage, Sep 27, 2019.

  1. SlightlyAboveAverage

    SlightlyAboveAverage Fapstronaut

    7
    14
    3
    Hello nofappers,


    I used PMO *heavily* between the ages of 20 and 30. I'm 30 now, and last time I cranked was Aug 3rd. I got into nofap after trying to figure out how to cure my ED, and didn't really take it seriously until I watched the Gary Wilson ted talk. Ever since, I've given up on PMO, weed, and even stopped taking my ADD medication because I felt I was starting to abuse it. Instead, I'm working out, practicing meditation, attend german classes, and train martial arts. Also I recently moved to a new city, so while I'm trying to become social it's hard because I don't know a lot of people yet.


    So far the results are great. My dick has been totally dead for months, and now I get morning wood consistently at 40-60%. Every once in a while, I get a raging hard on that lasts for 15-20s. I want things more for myself romantically than ever before, like I want to just fucking go meet some nice girls and make them laugh. Months ago, I just did not give a shit. So I'm glad to see how things have changed already, and still I have over a month to progress and improve. I'm made of iron, have had no real worries of relapsing and it's just a matter of time before day 90 rolls by.


    I'm posting to ask you to share your experiences with me, how bad was your depression and general moodiness while rebooting? This flatline has been the absolute worst. For the last week I have been constantly questioning my life and value, almost suicidal thoughts. It blows because I am trying to become more social/meet people but it's hard to be fun while I am battling my inner edgelord. The girl checking my vision the other day was practically telling me she wanted to hang out and I had a full-on sweaty panic attack at the idea of a cute girl who actually wanted to spend time with me.


    Anyways, I know we're all different but I keep reading that day 70 is when a lot of guys get their second wind. So I'm just trying to stick things out, remain on my routine, and hope things get better. Did any of you guys experience this?


    tl;dr I'm depressed and anxious as fuck at day 56. Did any of you have a similar experience this late in the game
     
  2. Nines

    Nines Fapstronaut

    133
    12,390
    123
    My Journal
    My first response is to recommend you find an accountability partner if you don't already have one. It helps to be able to chat with someone you trust throughout the rough periods. Second, going to commend you for getting through 50+ days. Good job dude.

    Although I can't compare to your streak, I do deal with my own periods of depression and anxiety. Mine usually appear days after PMO and persists for nearly two weeks. The further I go without PMO, the better I feel. Yet, when my streaks are long, I will sporadically have a day or a moment where I'm just bummed out. Sometimes I can point to a reason, which will always be something silly. Other times I'm baffled because I can't find a cause or reason for it. I was well into 40 days with moments like that.

    I'll make a few points and quit my rambling. We're human. We are going to have our ups and downs. Sometimes they won't make sense. Also, there's the neurological/psychological element. There's a reason that long periods away from PMO are considered a reset. Not an expert, but what I've learned is that our brains are nearly resetting, adjusting to being without the addiction. In some cases it can be like going through withdrawal. So who knows, there's the chance that the brain will poke and prod at our emotions and mental state while it works itself out. Finally there's the chance that your depression and anxiety could be linked to something else in your life and be unrelated to PMO. Of course only you could know or discover that. I hope I've said something helpful in all of that. Good day to you and take care.
     
  3. DGZ

    DGZ Fapstronaut

    180
    263
    63
    I'm right there with you man. The flatline SUCKS. I don't know which is worse, constant urges or flatline, because you can at least channel constant urges into something positive like lifting weights. But you can't do anything with a flatline. We're at similar days, I'm at day 58. I absolutely know what you mean.

    I felt amazing until day 12 or so, then the flatline hit me hard and it's been there ever since. I'm more assertive, like I don't let my best friend treat me like crap anymore. But... no motivation, no joy, no nuthin'!
     
  4. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

    512
    528
    93
    Depresion/mood swings are real! Don't lose your hope bro!
     
    AspiringVitality likes this.
  5. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

    2,815
    837
    113
  6. bobjames127

    bobjames127 Fapstronaut

    31
    53
    18
    Separate the idea or notion of becoming more social from fixing your material and brain. Just focus on healing. There are so many people in this world you are surely not missing out on anything. I've had a really hard time with withdrawals over the last 3 or 4 weeks. It was so bad that I asked the doctor for busperone. Alongside this medication and serious lifestyle changes things have greatly improved the last week. I still wake up between 3-5 with anxiety, but I'm able to use breathing techniques and mindfulness to calm the anxiety enough for me to sleep again. I recommend researching circular breathing techniques where you push your stomach out as you breath in through your nose. This technique has been a slow and sneaky secret weapon. It helps in an anxious situation and I believe the increased oxygen to the mind alongside the slowing of the heart rate helps combat unwanted thoughts.
     
    AspiringVitality likes this.
  7. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    769
    778
    93
    I’m there with you right now at day 35. Major flatline right now but I am still attracted to women when seeing them in public. Which I don’t want to be listing after other women though, since I am married.
    Lots of depressive and anxious thoughts and some days are hard to want to get off the couch.
     
    AspiringVitality likes this.
  8. Probably worth looking into PAWS (Post-Acute-Withdrawal Syndrome); from my own personal experience and anecdotes from quite a few others I'm pretty sure it's as real of a phenomena with porn as it is with substance abuse: which with my elementary understanding of the related neurochemistry does make sense. Especially the mood-swing factor: PAWS tends to ebb and flow in waves. Do you experience anxiety and/or insomnia, or even general irritableness? Those are symptoms also.
     
  9. We all go through that. It’s called SDDD (small dead dick disease)
     
  10. SlightlyAboveAverage

    SlightlyAboveAverage Fapstronaut

    7
    14
    3
    Just wanted to thank all those who replied. A weird mental block I've been experiencing with this whole process is believing that I've been 'doing it wrong' when the depression gets bad, feeling a bit fucked up is just part of the process I guess. It's only been a few days and I'm already feeling fine again, showed up to class and socializing was totally natural.

    Also off topic, but sometime next week I'm going to add some content you guys might find interesting. I started seeing an endocrinologist at the start of this, testosterone/prolactin/GSH/etc. tested about a week in. At day 65 I'm scheduled to have another full test done, so I'll be able to share how nofap effected my hormone levels. Initially I showed very high prolactin, but a retest halfway through gave dramatically lower results. Anyways before my doctor cuts me loose and declares me healthy, he wants to do a final panel. For those interested, tune in next week

    What no haha totally normal here haha
     
  11. path_finder

    path_finder Fapstronaut

    410
    756
    93
    hey. that sounds good, you improve. probably you also suffer from the Cold Turkey from your drug use. But don't take them again. it's better without. Guys often think that women want to go out with them, when in reality, they just wanted to be friendly. Moving to a new City, is Always a lonely Business. And you will Need at least some years to find a good friend or two. It takes time, no wonder, but it will happen if you stay. Porn seems to alter our character in certain ways not into the positive. It's quite hot to watch, but Maybe better done is life without (I don't know any more).
     
  12. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

    512
    528
    93
    Looking forward to this.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  13. path_finder

    path_finder Fapstronaut

    410
    756
    93
    why?
     
  14. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

    512
    528
    93
    Because I am interested.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.

Share This Page