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Breaking the grip porn has had on me for 28 years

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by thedog01, Oct 7, 2019.

  1. thedog01

    thedog01 New Fapstronaut

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    It all started so innocently, watching a Penthouse Magazine when I was 13, and then masturbating to SI swimsuit issues at that same time.

    I went to boarding school in high school and started to masturbate in my room a few times a week. I thought it was an innocent thing but it got worse during the latter years of high school when I would even take the TV from my dorm common room area at 2am and the VCR and watch porn till 4am or so.

    College it got worse despite me starting to give my life up to Christ as a Christian. But I was ashamed telling my friends this or anyone. I was watching more porn delivered to me on DVD’s etc. when I went to Asia for the first time in 2001 I started to go to massage parlors and getting sex from all those places.

    I tried abstaining and it worked for a year back in 2007, but the habit kicked in again. I realized I was starting to have ED when having real sex even at the massage parlors. I got married a few years after but I feel ashamed I can’t have real sex without taking the blue pill, and even then I struggle to ejaculate

    I saw this website recently and have started my journey of “reboot”, i am currently in Day 9. I hope to keep it up. I appreciate the support here. I want to have marriage as it was intended to be, and enjoy sex the way it should be with my wife. I love her and owe it to her. Thanks
     
    Homelander likes this.
  2. Homelander

    Homelander Fapstronaut

    Hey dude,

    I also used the blue pill when being with women: here a snippet from my introduction in another thread:
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    [--[ Method 2: V1agra ]--]
    Around 23 years old I started dating older woman (30+) and guess what?
    My PIED was at its worst. I panicked and chucked my life work gigantic porn stash in the trash outside. Gigabits of CDR's and DVD's all gone in a moment of fear, like tears in the rain. I really felt useless and ran out of ideas and got desperate and decided to visit a doctor that subscribed me V1agra. Holy crap, that worked instantly and my dick was hard as rock and I could perform till deep in the night. All my problems were solved, well so i thought..... My main problem was that I never could tell my girlfriend that I had to use V to get it up with her, because she would have definitely dumped my dead dick right there, and I would not blame her. So what could I do than to keeping silently using V? The other problem was that V (due to subscription) was very expensive and it only works when you take it 20 minutes prior to having sex. This secret planing and lying put a lot of stress on my relationship with this nice older woman and in the end I guess she suspected my V usage. Obviously there are also many health disadvantages of using V.


    [--[ Married : PIED dormant ]--]
    Then the best thing ever happened to me, because I met the girl of my dreams not long after the breakup with the older girlfriend. Still a PIED patient, I also continued using V with my dream girl, but somehow I managed to lower the usage until my PIED went dormant. At that moment, my Porn usage heavily declined and I was so relaxed with my new girlfriend I never felt the PIED stress. Not long after I married this fantastic woman and started a family with her. Life and sex was good to us, but then.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Well, my first advise to you would be to continue on your hard reboot and do whatever it takes and also to stop using the blue pill from this day on because it acts as a drug
    keeping you on a leash. So chuck it all in the bin outside, yes all of it. I don't know if you told your wife about the pills. If not, then you have to tell her that you are trying this new method. otherwise she will notice and put blame on herself of suspect you of cheating. Please note that most women see porn also as cheating.

    Keep it up and you can always DM me if you need advise or help.
    Cheers.
     
  3. thedog01

    thedog01 New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the encouragement. Actually I have no blue pill supply at the moment since my wife agrees it doesn’t help in my recovery process. I’m on day 11. Still going strong.

    If there’s an iPhone App that’s helpful especially when I have the urge to look at porn, or masturbating, be great to know!
     
    Homelander likes this.
  4. Homelander

    Homelander Fapstronaut

    I don't know of any apps, but I just grab my running gear when the urges get too high or take a short cold shower.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2019
  5. Your wife can block porn for you in the iPhone
    Settings>Screen Time>Content Restrictions
     

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