21-year-old virgin

starting to feel quite down about this lately.

Basically everyone I know has lost their virginity, but I haven't. I know it's not a race or whatever, but part of me wonders why it's taking me so long.

I moved to a big city three years when I was 18, I didn't go to uni, I instead did a one year course and have been working in that field since. The problem that comes with that is i obviously didn't have the chance to meet as many students/people my age, which is often how these things happen.

In that first year, again, I was living in student accommodation, so there were lots of people around. I then lived in a flat on my own for one year and I now share with a 31-year-old Spanish girl that I met through a running group.

As for nights out, I've been on a fair few. I have got off with girls a few times, but never taken anyone back.

I have two main groups I go out with, one is a big group of around 12 people who are just my friends and this is when it's slightly harder to try and pull a girl when out. The other is a friend of mine, my age, with whom I usually try for that sort of thing as it's easier with a small group.

On Friday, I went out with that big group when I wasn't due to be going out and I met this girl at their student accommodation, who I would end up bringing home. It all happened very quickly and im not sure I was completely ready as I simply wasn't expecting anything to happen. Completely caught up in the moment i stupidly forgot to buy a condom and got back to mine and when she was ready, I had to tell her I didn't have one. I must stress this wasnt intentional, I hadn't been in this situation before and wasn't thinking straight.

I did everything else other than sex with this girl, but ruined my chances of a second time due to a number of reasons: not having a condom, my flat mate woke up when we got back and texted me to not be so loud, so I was worrying when with her about noise and I struggled to maintain an erection as I normally would if masturbating.

Although this was a good experience nonetheless, I'm still kicking myself about messing up my one chance. I don't know how long it will take me to have another experience like that.

I believe that PMO may well have affected me that night, but also could have been first time nerves.

I'm 21 and have been PMO'ing since I was 15, so not as long as others on here. Usually do it once or twice a week, but always notice side effects like confidence loss/low energy etc. I have never really been one to chase after girls and my last proper relationship was when I was 16. I have been focusing all my efforts on my career, and have managed to land myself a decent job for my age having worked tirelessly over the last three years. During rite time, I just masturbated to overcome any sexual desire, which i think stopped me from having the need to find a partner.

I think this experience the other night has taught me to stop completely, so that kind of thing doesn't happen again.

I have tried apps like tinder to meet people but I find that you never meet anyone genuine on there, it's much better to meet someone face to face. I'm not looking for a serious relationship, just something casual. I am always so horny and sexually frustrated, and I'm struggling to contain this sexual energy.

Does anyone have any advice as to how I can meet more girls? I could try going to bars on my own at some point, but I feel a bit stupid doing that. It seems like the only real time it can happen is when you're on a night out with people.

I'm concerned about remaining a virgin if the years continue to pass, and have seen people on here saying that you should not go into your 20s still a virgin as this can cause you issues.

 

Thanks for the advice. I do have some friends that are girls, but don't see any of them in that way. As for dating, it's something I've tended to stay away from as it's too much of a commitment for me right now, I'm just looking for something casual.