hope. how to beat flatline,negativity and urges. guy with severe ed done 30 days

day 0-10
its was same usual day when i restarted my streak.
i avoided computer phone etc. and just focused on study and classes.
then i realised its past 10 days but what made me insecure was FLATLINE. i mean i feel so impotent after years of over pmo.
no urges to pmo or internet. and i had a nightfall,crazily it was a gay dream. and it was maybe first time i had one.if i would have gone deeper in this thought i would have again sent in loop of hell. well i didn't.
days 10-20
my organ was still a micro and sleeping one but my balls grew slowly. experienced feeble erections. but was happy that i got the start. no dangerous browsing. not working out and complications again sent me back to computer. but didnt use it to search those things. thankfully some sacred 9-10 days begin in which we people practise self control penance etc. embarassingly i had second night fall and it was quite disturbing but didnt give much thought to it(thankfully).
day 20-30
i didnt journal this time just minded my actions. it made the days to go away normally. people focus on not doing that thing again instead of just doing the right thing. as it was our sacred days so no question of relapsing. some day dreams occur and that short pulpy female body again became attractive.
long way to go i.e 90 days
well i still have ED but feel more masculine and didnt work on fitness and meditation so including them in next 60 days. also much internet and not studying is problem. i just wanted to celebrate myself so posted it.
remeber simplicity is key

 

yeah haha all the best man gud day

 

lets say there is no flatline and there you are with perfect health and libido now would u go back to old habit if destroying life for only pleasure?
take a vow to not give in to urges and then flatline become helpful as u dont feel aroused all the time.

 

just count flatline as a gift that helps you to stay clean.

 

the rest of my journey is in my journal..will update here when reach day 45 60 and 75 90

 

all the best.