Need some advice.

I actually think part of my problem (maybe for many) is that porn RUNS TO US in our culture. So many things are or porn-lite or near-porn that can be triggering. So I have to really monitor my feelings and thoughts and use tools when triggered. Sounds like you have great self awareness. Congrats. And I'm glad you don't shame yourself for slips. This is marathon, not a sprint...and I think the real measure of success is progress over time. Since weekends seem to be the only time you slip, you might ask yourself if you've subconsciously given yourself "a pass" on weekends? Not saying you have, just another question to really examine as we learn why we do what we do. Maybe you need to set a goal of just getting through one weekend without a slip and that temporarily means strengthening your boundaries--like computer/devices in the car overnight or even at someone else's place. Build micro success that can grow into larger streaks of time. These may or may not fit as suggestions. We are all different in what works. Peace.

 

Bro thank you for posting this. I have been having the exact same problem. The good news is that you have identified the problem, and when it occurs. My problem as well is on the weekends.

To give you a preface, i just masturbated for the first time in 8 months this past weekend, after looking at P. My P use had become more and more frequent in the past few months from once in 45 days to slipping up after 17 day’s to slipping up after 3 weeks to 1 week and then finally i fully relapsed (pmo)

The reason it’s tough on the weekends is bc we are productive during the week and feel burned out once the weekend comes about. We just want to relax and have some feel good dopamine.

What i am going to propose for both of us is to change our habits and plans for the weekend drastically. I like the idea of switching to nokia phone on the weekends. I would do that.

when you wake up saturday morning, get up and IMMEDIATELY GET READY, and go to school to study for the day. Or just go to school to hang out. Do not spend anytime at home. You need to mentally equate your room with only sleeping.

Have a policy of no internet for the weekend. Just radically change what you normally do. I understand the dilemma you are in: you want to relax in order to not be burned out, but there is too much downtime which makes it easy to pmo.

If you want, we can be accountability partners for the weekend. For instance friday night, we text each other our intentions/plans for how we will spend the weekend. We commit to not being on phone during the weekend making unnecessary browsing. PM me because i would be down for this

Environment conquers will!

 

I don’t know what kind of phone you typically use. I usually use a setting on my iphone called screen time. On screen time you can use downtime to limit the use of the iPhone or certain apps anytime such as social media, Safari, mobile games, etc. An addition, you can use Content & privacy restrictions setting to block inappropriate content, and to disable the safari app on allowed apps. While using screentime it requires a four digit passcode. I would write it down on a small piece of paper, and hide it in another room, or a drawer without remembering the passcode.

 

i don’t think so. Look over at the rebooting in a relationship forum. It’s pretty known that being in a relationship doesn’t stop P use. That’s why even married men still struggle. Although it would definitely help. There’s no easy way out unfortunately

 

Maybe begin a hobby that is only on weekends.

You need to be honest with yourself each time you relapse it is restart as far as the journey. How many more times do you want to restart?

Plan what you want to do on weekends and actually write it out and maybe go to bed a bit earlier on the weekends. You are right that you should not be running away from it but you should learn how to deal with it and change your thoughts towards more important things and real things than porn.

 

As far as the effect that relationships have on PMO problems; I guess it varies but for me its still a problem. Im married and PMO was always a problem before and after marriage. Even when I was dating other women it was a problem. Sometimes it made my PMO worse. If I had a date lined up and knew I was going to bang her, id jerk before i left the house so id be able to last as long as i wanted. Then id bang her. And usually jerk off when i got home to the thought of it, or even sometimes in the car ride on the way home. So yea...