Cant stop fantasies while on a streak

You basically described my Nofap history. I also have a strong problem with fantasising around the 2 week mark about porn including the transgendered person fetish. That's the cause why I failed on previous streaks. I'm thinking about including long meditation sessions into my day plan, maybe this will help taking controll over my mind. It's quite disturbing thinking about porn especially the transgendered person stuff the whole time but I think it's part of the process to rewire your brain to a normal taste. You have to detoxify your brain from all this filth you bombarded your brain over all this years. Stay strong and stop edging to your thoughts, your brain is trying to rationalize that it's ok to indulge in this kind of thinks but it's just your addicted brain that talks to you.

 

I am coming to learn that blocking urges is not the way to go. They will be there. If you push them down (e.g. FIGHT them) they will just come back stronger at a later point. I now have a process which somewhat works for me. I accept the fantasy/idea/lust and I watch it. Then I converse with it, as in literally speak with it. I ask it questions, like 'why' and if no answer comes.. 'why that specific thing'.. And if no answer comes, 'why now?'.

You said you've exhausted all intellectual avenues, you know on that intellectual level it's not good for you, yet your actions betray you.
I can say this safely, because this has happened to me more times than I can count.

The 'trick' (if you can call it that) is in self-realization.
Don't read past that word arbitrarily.
Don't underestimate what self-realization means.

It literally means realizing your thoughts through action.
We think that we can simply nofap, and we expect ourselves to be experts.

Do you expect yourself to fly a helicopter after never training for it?
Do you expect yourself to drive a bicycle safely, without ever having trained on it?
You can intellectually learn how to skate.. but you still need to physically skate as well.

The same counts for NoFap.
It's not just a decision.
It's training, training, training..

Just like skating, the professional ice-skaters have fallen countless times on the ice.
You start training that 'muscle' to self-realize, by making it easier on yourself.

Give yourself a break.
Realize that you want longer streaks.
So expect just 1 day longer than last time.

Most of us here are NOT professional nofappers.
And it takes a huge amount of time to get there, for some more than others.

So train that muscle, by realizing 'lesser' and 'easier' thoughts that work towards becoming a better person.
The more things you self-realize or: Actualize.. the more easy it becomes to actualize/realize more difficult propositions, like blocking an entire fantasy.

Don't UNDERESTIMATE the power of fantasy!
There are people that have fought their urges their entire life.
You will never win that fight; if you make it a fight.

Instead, train yourself to self-realize (self-actualize) your thoughts and day by day, you become stronger on the 'inside'.

 

I disagree with this, I've been having some success by fiercely resisting my fantasies. Remember the old saying: neurons that fire together wire together. The trick is to nip them in the bud; as soon as the seed is planted, it will grow stronger every time you conceive of a fantasy.

OP you need a strong reason for why you're doing this. Write a document with benefits and read it through every day. Abstinence from PMO must become a burning desire. NEVER AGAIN. Everything depends on this, OP; don't let your future self down. There are two versions of yourself you can create from THIS MOMENT: one where you PMO, and one where you don't. You know that there would be a MASSIVE difference. Think of all the success stories.

 

Perhaps you need Monk Mode (this is what I am a doing). Part of the criteria involves the 5 second rule - to let go of the thought of sex or women, before 5 seconds. But one needs to constantly keep reminding oneself about this discipline.

Sometimes the Hard Mode isnt good enough.

 

I can relate to this. It also 'seems like' stuff like meditation and cold showers don't help.
That said, I have noticed that the urges go away when I get 'excited' about someting else - usually real world for example I asked a woman on a date and anticipating (not 'fantasizing' but more 'strategizing' ) that made those FMO as I call them, urges go away.

and yes it seems to have progressed from porn to wanting to 'act out' . Understanding why we get these urges and the need they are trying to fulfill can have long term (not quick fix) effect of diminishing them.

I have also noticed that overstimulation of ANY kind - even just being online and looking at too many non porn images - can lead to what's called 'dissociation' - detachment from the self - which eventually leads to that behavior.

 

Yes, it takes awhile to remember it but 'urge surfing' is pretty effective IF You can remember to do it , with me sometimes that's been a big 'if'