I can't stop relapsing...

interested in this ... i just lay in bed and fight the urges.. im on day 16 now and i haven't been this far in years and i am scared i'll relapse anytime tho i feel very good since i quit.

my strategy for now is whenever the urge comes up, is i lay down the pros and cons of fapping and than i see the benefits of not doing it are so good that i wont.

 

Coach may help, its hit or miss.

If you stop all sexual activities for a week, normal healthy male will be feeling very strong urges.
We are wired for sex, and our body gradually changes hormonal balance in the absence of sex in order to facilitate it. This is why testosterone among other things increase in the absence of sex, not because it is so good to be without sex, but to make the male more aggressive and determined to get sex. Reward for sexual activities also grows with time, body in essence offers higher and higher reward(pleasure) to facilitate sex.
This is similar to how your body gradually makes you drowsy and tired in the evening to force you to sleep. Yes you can resist sleeping, but the longer you do that the more drowsy and disoriented you become, to the point where you will fall asleep without even realizing it.

The problem is that you are not seeking sex, you changed what you do in response to sexual desire or "urges"
Instead of spending intimate time with a female, or at the worst, having a quick orgasm on your won so you can refocus back on life.
You go and watch porn for hours, exploiting the pleasureful incentive your body has put in place to get you to have sex.


In fact I think that what happens, is that people reach a point where they no longer get as much pleasure as they are used to from their porn use and that makes them feel anxious, they eventually decide to stop.
When they stop, sensitivity gradually returns and when it does they can enjoy same high level of pleasure they are used to - so they do. This becomes a cycle, that in essence just feeds intensity of abuse. Abuser begins to use breaks to get better highs.

Urges to have sex will never go away, how you satisfy those urges is where you have a problem. You can have sex, masturbate to orgasm in 5-10min, or you can go watch hours of porn. Its the same choice every time, and this is where you need to focus your efforts, what will you choose?

 

Every time you have a urge slap yourself across your face

 

Every time you have an urge tell us so we can slap you - for you.

 

bet, no urges on my watch