How to stop to crossdress?

How can I get rid of the urge to crossdress?

I am 25+ years old male and I want to clarify that all my life I was attracted only to women. I never wanted to become a woman myself. I am virgin and never had a girlfriend.

Since the age of 3-4 I had these urges to crossdress and these urges only intensified as the time went by. I never wore women clothes at public and I’m usually doing it in my private time alone without trying to “pass” (or something of that kind).

Usually after masturbating, the desire is diminished and all I feel is shame and disappointment asking myself "why I did it?". After some time the urge returns, it usually happens after 30-40 minutes.

I’m almost certain that this is not porn induced since I don’t watch porn at all and never was into it.

I like the feel of the women clothes (softness, texture, etc.) but at the same time feel ashamed by wearing it. In addition, the fact that the urge diminished after masturbating tells me that it’s like some kind of fetish.

The other thing that bothers me is that when I wear women clothes I feel like my masculine energy is being “drained”, feeling that continues for few days.

Things that I tried and not worked/worked with limited success:
1. NoFap – Since I started masturbating I always felt tired after it so I always tried to reduce the frequency of this act. My record is around 40 days and during that time I didn’t felt any change in the urges to crossdress.
2. Meditation – didn’t help at all and didn't felt any change in the urges.

I wish that I could somehow get rid of this urge…

Does anyone have any suggestions?

P.S.: I’m not sure if this is the correct forum to post this kind of question but I feel that this is the only place that will understand this kind of problem because almost any other place will tell you that “masturbation is healthy” and “there is nothing wrong with crossdressing” but I know instinctively that something is wrong with it and I’m determined to stop it.

 

Already tried it multiple times, "purging" the clothes is not really working...

 

The problem is that most of the experts say that "this is normal"/"this is harmless, what's the problem?".
Also some suggest ridiculous things like taking HRT.

 

Thank you for your reply.
Currently I'm on day 7 of no MO and I haven't crossdressed since the beginning of this month.
The urges are still strong, but luckily I purged all my stash...