What's your worst experience with porn?

great post.

reminded of one time I visited the red light district in Mexico City. We have the same modus operandi. Walk up and down and pick what i found the best. This particular time I was wearing a Colombian soccer jersey. Bright yellow. I walked up the street only once.

The cost was about 700 pesos or 40 usd. I had made sure I didn’t have enough money to get anything though. It was me teasing myself. But the wrong people noticed.

I ended up At the end of the street trying to get a taxi when the police pulled up. He started talking to me. I speak fluent Spanish but anytime the cops are involved I go to “gringo mode”. I figure I will frustrate the hell and act helpless.

Well they did what no cop has ever done before. About 5 or 6 cops showed up. They started asking me what am I doing. I told them in English (as if I didn’t understand) I was walking to my hotel and happened to pass this terrible area. Yeah. They didn’t believe me either. They asked what hotel— I told them. They thought I was full of crap. The reality was that I was tempting myself but that didn’t matter to them.

So here’s the crazy part. They pull out phones and then They Opened google translate on their phone and started motioning for me to type my answer. My heart sank. I thought...wow. What persistence. assholes.

I went along with the game. At one point they told me they saw me talking with the girls. I knew that was an entrapment.

Often the women do call out to you as you walk past— so this is what I told them. In truth I did t see anything that I had wanted. And if I had I would probably have had to go to the atm.

My mind raced. I told them “she had called out to me ; and I simply answered. “. At this they decided to take me downtown to “ the station.” I was a little nervous. Cops are notoriously corrupt but not so in mex city in the red light district. They are like lazy fisherman. They chase the hookers away during certain hours but are otherwise harmless.

Well they decided to put me in the car. At this point it goes from friendly to nasty. they tell me they need to use handcuffs. I felt my panic and tried to remain calm and argue the gringo card. “Why?” “What did I do wrong?” They kept flashing the flashlights and handcuffs at me blabbering then slowing down and pulling up the app to translate, then wait for my crazed look of bewilderment. It would make a great snl skit.

They talked about a fine for solicitation. I told them they had no evidence of my doing anything besides walking down the street. Which was true.

They decided not to handcuff me. But I realized I had no other leverage I had to go into the squad car. Then the guy started telling me he was taking me to the station and they would charge me a fine. They said the fine was like 300$. I gulped. I didn’t have 300 so I guess they were in for a surprise. I was only there for a day—- and had thought to relieve myself.

Here the cop started making turn after turn. Then he asked me how much do I have. I told him I had the equivalent of 8 dollars. He radioed someone to relay the information. I couldn’t hear the ringleader , but I first pumped inside. They were used to shaking down tourists. Haha. They got a poor gringo obviously and didn’t know what to do.

Then more haggling. More threats.
I remained insolent. I didn’t want to pay any fine and these assholes assumed I had a lot more money than I did. I offered for them to take me to the atm. I knew There would be a cAmera there —- so they would get caught.

After a few more turns of heading to the police station they accepted 6 dollars And left me with 2 bucks as a “fine” and told me to go to my hotel.

i was shaking with anger, embarrassment, humiliation, fear, and gratitude to God all at the same time.

i never went back.
I never told that story either.
Just the feeling of almost being handcuffed wow. That’s a powerful humiliating act. I wanted to shrink or swell.

Just like you, i realized it was exactly what I needed to see past the temporary fix of sex. Self loathing is worse when you are craving it but don’t get it. There was no feeling of alleviation. Just frustration. Thanks for sharing , I also know recalling these stories as a sex addict makes pmo look like child’s play in part because there are more variables and levels to it—- but it’s greatly therapeutic and cathartic.

I have started attacking my Sexual addiction like pmo ; tracking it and using accountability to challenge myself to become sober. It’s not easy.

I encourage you friend. Stay strong!

 

Wauw, thank you for sharing this very private but life changing event.
It reminds me of my own arrogance whilst being in that dangerous red light district.
I thought I outsmarted everybody and was in control, but I did not realize that I was just a spoiled kid that many patrolling sharks eat for breakfast.
A single event could easily turn my reality into a fucking nightmare with permanent repercussions.
In my country prostitution is legal and very safe. It's just as easy as buying cigarettes. But in many countries we are considered walking money bags.

It took me a while before I realized I was addicted to the unique kick strolling for prostitutes gave me.
It is a totally different feeling than hunting for girls at a party and taking one home. It doesn't compare, because of the danger and taboo.
I realize that many men here here experienced a similar kick with a different taboo that kept them hooked for so long.

But, in my opinion this prostitute addition is not worse than hard drugs, I often imagine myself being filthy rich and how many hookers I would have
around me all day. Yes, this is not a lifestyle to be proud about, but it would be one hell of a rush as long as you don't go Charly Sheen (winning).
Just do it classy like Hugh Hefner. But, I'm never going to be rich, so who am I fooling but myself?

Anyway, dm me anytime if you feel you need help with your prostitute urges as I know exactly what is like.

 

Man I got a few and I think it's good that I can look back at these moments just to know how terrible of an addiction this is:

1) PMOing in a girls bed while she was in the shower
2) PMOing in a suite with other guys when I thought they were sleeping
3) Having dead dick while getting a blowjob from a girl I was in to
4) PMOing in my bed while a friend was outside waiting for me and I had to lay in and cover up the mess when he came in to check on me
5) Spending HOURS with multiple tabs open just trying to find that "perfect scene" and the hours of brainfog that followed.

I got plenty more but those are the first 5 that came to mind. I'm in a much better place than I was then but I'm still struggling with the final push out of this

 

I think most of us can relate to the last one.

 

That's a crazy story my friend. I know that you have come a long way I'm proud of you that not only you shared this but you grew

 

glad to see you back Man! Your voice is needed!

 

that i was dreaming and in that dream i was raping girls

 

Words have never been spoken so true. This is my fear of quitting everything. That i would become ruthless on how I would get off. I still struggle but I'm glas I'm not the only one

 

Thanks my friend YES I am back I was struggling so much about month ago. But I'm staying humble cuz I'm still in recovery. But this site has helped me so much.

 

If you feel like you need a way to blow off some steam, just look into some healthy alternatives:
- Meditation: simple, short and doesn't cost you monet
- Sports: martial arts is pretty good at developing ones character and his mind
- Hobbies: I like bushcrafting for example (nature stuff). I don't have the money or time to do it, but I watch YouTube videos on bushcrafting whenever I need an "escape" and they ground me very well, puts me in a peace state.

Bottom line is to try multiple healthy things and stick to what makes your soul happy.

 

The same as me ..I was having panick attack for no reason for almost 6 months until I discovered that my dopamine level is low due to constant mastubation...I was having a constant fear .

 

There was that time I was watching pornography, then I got tired of it and just stopped watching. It has been more than a year but I don't know the exact date. Why would I.

Pretty scary story right?

 

I had this same exact process. Everything you mentioned. Wow, reading your post really struck me. Thank you for sharing that. I would spend so much time trying to find videos that I had already seen, but because it was in incognito couldn't find.

 

This is a great thread idea! I will read this thread whenever I feel like fapping.

 

@bken just stumbled upon this post....can you explain more of your situation? I also have the problem of edging 6-7 hours during my PMO sessions. I have a ton of inflammation in my body throughout the week and just wondering how much of these PMO sessions could be to blame? Thanks.

 

I used to live with a pretty tech-savvy dude. He had this complete Fort Knox setup going on his computer and torrented just about every movie under the sun as soon as it became available. He was also obviously pretty into networking etc.
I used to drink very heavily and look up some shameful, shameful stuff whilst pretty well blacked out. One night he called me out in front of another housemate- 'hey, you still looking up (fetish) every night?'

It was at that point that I realised he was monitoring the whole house's internet traffic. I was really angry at him for a long time for invading my privacy but eventually it dawned on me that yeah, what I was doing was actually wrong. He's got his own weird stuff going on but I had to look at my own behaviour and realise that it was messed up.

It really hurts to say, that was over 10 years ago. 10 years I've continued down that path, not really progressing but definitely not really getting better, and most certainly looking at things which make me feel ashamed to be alive, every single day.
As people tend to say in times of exasperation... I want my life back. I really do.

 

I feel you brother. College roommate wrote a paper about addiction and it featured heavily with porn addiction. Took me 6 years to realize he was probably offering me a warning because he had to know I was an addict.

 

This a totally unsubstantiated claim. Serial killers and rapists existed before porn. Men being dumped by girlfriends, wives and mistresses is as old as humanity itself.

We all know porn is bad but demonizing it with unsupported claims will serve no purpose and will reduce the credibility of this community. By doing that you will be doing the porn industry a favor.

 

Sending fake money from to dozens of fake account to girls for showing tits to punish them for being whores or me being rejected by others multiple times.

Edging for hours

Spending whole days, weekend drinking and fapping followed by super strong depressions and suicidal thoughts and cry and dick hurt

Being younger didnt realize it was a problem at all, werent even noticing it.
It lead to fapping while others are in house with open door.

Never got caught anyway.