Newbie here - 7 Days free

Hi. I'm a 65 yr-old married man with a wonderful wife. I've been using porn over my adult life to some degree, and abusing it heavily over the last year. I was deep deep deep into some fantasy world where I thought it was OK and I could get away with it, could get away with chatting online, sexting, the works. My world came crashing down yesterday when an online acquaintance sent copies of horribly incriminating photos and texts to my wife and college-age daughter - who are devastated and traumatized beyond belief.

My wife has been gracious enough to be supportive beyond anyone's imagination, how she can do that I do not know, as my behavior was reprehensible, dishonest, and just so awfully wrong. In my fantasy world I would talk to women about leaving my wife and all sorts of things I would never actually do.

I couldn't wait to be alone in the house or on a business trip so I could have all the time I wanted for my "porn life" and DMing in Instagram. Now having been slapped back into reality, I can see how far gone I was. It was as if I was on another planet, and only that fantasy porn world made any sense.

There are certainly many underlying problems I'm going to have to face, and I'm committed to therapy, support groups, and whatever it takes to get things turned back around and start living an honest life of integrity. I have never opened up about myself throughout my life, so this is a big scary first step.

I'm so shell-shocked right now that I couldn't imagine ever wanting to go back to porn or any of those behaviors again, but I know I'm going to need help.

Thanks in advance for all of your support, input and advice

 

Thanks for the kind welcome. It took almost losing (and still potentially losing) my family to snap me out of the downward spiral and bring me to my senses. Right now I'm in such shock have absolutely zero desire for PMO. Reading through the forums here has been a big help already, just realizing I wasn't the only one. The hardest part for me right now is dealing with the shame, and how badly I've hurt my wife and daughter...