30 days IN life or death

What's up guys first I want you all to understand what this reboot means to me.
30 days ago I was a complete mess. I couldn't stop myself from PMO or acting out. Having sexual encounters with men and transwomen. Feeling completely empty

Completely inhuman , not to mention I just turned 29 and the reality that comes with that have a kid a GF trying to move out. It all just seems to much at times.

My addiction to porn had nothing to do with me not able to get girls. It was all about escaping what I felt at the time in had no power over to change (now I know that different)

Now I have had long runs before of over 60 days but never anything that great since then. you learn so much about yourself when your not feeding your brain with your addiction what ever it may be.

At this point I know I cant go back I have my plan to not only stay away from PMO and acting out but have built a schedule and have stuck with it. Guys this is more then just staying away from PMO for me its life and death.

My soul was gone. I was a shell and only 30day in , I can say I FEEL again . My pain my fears. My love. My dreams my goals.
These days have been such an emotional rollercoaster. Theirs days where I cry like a baby alone. But I rather do that then go back to my old habbits.

The reality of what I have running from hits me like a bus. When it all boils down I know now it comes from self hate. I hated myself for what I did in the past. Something I did back in 2016 January 1st.

But I have to understand that I'm not that person anymore and I have to forgive myself and truly let go!

I have my goals set for the next 30 days. Do I will post hear again at 60 days in.
I plan on seeing a psychiatrist in the next month after my 60 days. Because as much as I know I cant go back I need external help to continue.

Speaking of external help their have been a few people who have reached out to me on the site and I appreciate you all more then you know especially the ones who would tell me things in didn't want to hear.
Thank you and love you all and know that you CAN CHANGE its possible no matter how deep you have gone.

 

Well done! Keep it up!!

 

Thank you bro more love to you.
I appreciate the support

 

Wow 45 days that's amazing my friend I'm proud of you reach out to me anytime im hear.

 

thanks bro