I over do it with my girlfriend...

Nice problem to have. (banging your brains out)

 

As a woman, I can tell you that sex everyday can be nice *if the man is helpful in other ways than just wanting sex. If all you do is ask her for sex, yet do not do anything around the house (cleaning, yard duties, child care, etc.) or give her the things she craves--words of affirmation, couple time (dates, trips, movies, walks, etc.), then she will get sick and tired a lot from the stress you are putting on her. If she is doing everything (cooking, cleaning, child care, school, work, etc.) while you are PMO'ing all day, then you will not have a healthy, happy woman. In fact, you will have no woman soon if that is your life.
The reason I say this is not because I know you. But as SO's we all see the same PA behavior--selfish and lazy. SO's give PA's what they want all day every day and try to help in their recovery and worry about them; while PA's neglect us, the house, the kids to PMO. We have no active partner when he is an addict.

Put yourself in her shoes and think about what you can do to help her feel better, happier, healthier. Let her sleep in while you do the dishes or take the kids to the park. When my husband does projects around the house or lets me sleep in it makes me HORNY! He knows if he does those things to help out then he is setting himself up for a reward later on! ;-) Less stress for her means more happy/horny lady for you!

 

Have you done hardmode yet and have you told her about your addiction?

If she is sore, tired and sick and doesn’t want to do it everyday but she still is, she is doing it because she thinks she has to.

And if you are still having sex with her when she says she is sore, that’s the addiction, in my opinion.

If it wasn’t the addiction pulling you towards it, empathy would kick in and you would comfort her, help her, cuddle with her instead of as the previous gentleman said banging her.

Maybe try hardmode if you haven’t already to help rewire your brain?

 

Dude, I have been facing the same problem.... My issue is, I dont wanna do the hard mode because I want the sex so badly, especially now that I am ending porn. I also want it everyday, and my empathy for her is weakened when the addiction flares up.

On the other hand I have been thinking that a hard mode reboot is what I need. However, she doesnt wanna go 3 months without sex either. Any advice? Do you think sex once every week? 2 weeks? Month? I am desperate for help.... I feel like I am avoiding porn, not curing my addiction, sometimes.

 

You know you can have sex without having an O yourself, if she doesn’t want to wait 3 months. Also other ways you can be with her. Hardmode is no P, M and O. It’s not zero physical touching.

 

I guess I am probably ignorant to this topic but, why on earth would you have sex intending not to orgasm? I cannot even imagine doing that. Sounds like the road to blue balls to me.... Am I wrong? I thought the goal of sex is both parties to reach orgasm. Yes? If you know something that I dont, please share. Perhaps I am missing something.

 

Don't knock it til you try it! My wife & I practice this now and again, instead of feeling tired after sex you feel cuddly & energized.

 

No, what I mean is, I had had sex and not had an orgasm. Its a horrible experience. And it makes a person irritable, and unfulfilled, and I just get really frustrated. I mean, maybe that is because I am literally obsessed with orgasm (hence the sexual obsesion) but anyway in my experience sex without orgasm is a terrible experience.

 

It's called karezza. It is horrible for you because your goal is the orgasm, not the intimacy. This is part of the addiction. Addiction is the absence of connection. Addiction is selfish. Karezza, done in the right mindset, and it takes practice, helps create connection. It is selfless.

Newsflash, sex with your wife is not all about you. The goal of sex with your wife should always be about connection whether there is an orgasm or not.

Here is more info.

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/karezza-sex-without-o.70145/#post-541725

 

This made me laugh! Unfortunately, women all over the world deal with this frequently. He cums, then he rolls over and thinks sex is done....nothing for her as she was just there for his pleasure. Imagine being a woman. Now you know why we can be so irritable! HAHA.

 

You want sex from her???! She's sick and you still think about sex and not helping her feel better somehow? That's a lot of care there! Be more than just your balls and help her! Sorry if i was rude!

 

I'm doing 90 days of no PMO, my SO's first reactio was "does that mean no sex for me either?"
To rewire you might try to have sex, without you O-ing. Focus on your partner, and involved her with your problem. Tell her not to let you O. She'll appreciate, the attention, being involved and the power probably.
You'll earn it back in the long run and get rid of those crazy urges.
Your own enjoyment of sex will become better.

 

I have been given that advice a lot lately. But I dont actually understand it. See, as a person who deals with Sexual Obsession, I just get really irritated if I get worked up from sex yet dont get to orgasm. I have had times where I didnt orgasm. It was a miserable experience. And I thought that it leads to what some call "Blue Balls" as well. Am I correct? I dont know. Maybe this is something I simply cannot understand BECAUSE I am obsessed with orgasm. I guess that is possible. But regardless, the idea of willing trying to put myself through orgasmless sex..... I cannot imagine doing it on purpose.

 

Read up on addcition on this forum. No matter what addiction; smoking, alcohol, other drugs, gaming or Orgasm, the addiction mechanism is the same. You have programmed your brain in a certain way so if it doesn't get the thing it usually gets, it responds by sending signals that you are missing out.
But reprogramming your brain can be done. That is what the 90 days without O is about, that is what NoFap is about.

And yes, you will get Blue balls, you will be irritated and get mad, sad, disappointed, think crazy thoughts about your girlfriend, relationship etc. Your brain will do anything to get you back to the old pattern.
The fact that you say you cannot understand is a huge red flag for addiction.

I do not agree that retaining semen is a good idea. Not orgasming all the time, nope does not sound good to me. Orgasms have been scientifically proven to be healthy.

But doing it for a limited time, (90 days but you might need longer), to reprogramme yourself, that I believe in and is working for me.
Read my Blog
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...-days-challenge.137180/page-1515#post-2298762

Share it with your girlfriend, make it part of your relationship and you being a better partner in all areas, not just sex. Focus on her pleasure, for her, not just to get aroused yourself.
All this will make you a better person, a better partner and make your life generally better. Sex will become better, more emotional, more intense. You will become more sensitive.

Read on the forums, but make it your journey. You and your significant other , but do it for yourself.
Tell her not to tell you come, but if you do, do not worry and fret, go on, keep going, become strong.
But your way; I for one cannot go without touch. So my SO touches and massages me, just not or very little down below.

Sex and O and relationships are much better when you are in control of yourself. Become the master not the slave.
Best of luck! Let us know what the misses says.