It’s not always an A

I hit day 111 today and it’s officially my longest without PMO in my entire adult life.
But I was onslaught with ultra urges today with scenes flashing in my mind, my favorites etc etc.
I ended up looking at porn images for about 3 minutes and I began to edge.
Then I started to feel sick.. then my head started to hurt. And this part of me was screaming, no! To some NoFAP purists they might say “Oh you looked and you edged for 20 seconds! Reset. start over.”
I however, view it as one of the last pathetic attempts at this evil habit dying. Trying anything to ensnare me again, and I was able to stop. Stop before I went to far. Stopped before I viewed videos or edged for a extended amount of time. I’m happy to say I was able to fully pull myself out of it without and prolonged edging or further viewing. And that is something I wouldn’t have been able to do 4 months ago. .

It’s not an A+, but for me, it’s a passing grade that I had the where with all to pull myself back from that ledge.

I think there’s an underlying tone here that it is always all or nothing. It’s either an A or an F. But that isn’t reality.. The moments we stumble, the moments that are tough are the ones we grow the most. Without struggle we wouldn’t learn. Who cares if you can go 50 days with no urges if the 1 time you do have an urge you fall entirely to it..
Anyway, if anything these 111 days PMO free have given me a stronger resolve and a stronger ability to not chastise myself around every corner; but accept this is all part of the process.

It’s not always going to be an A on the day! But we can still pass, we can still grow and we can still recover. As long as we’re moving forward any pace is growth.

JUST STAY AWAY FROM PROLONGED EDGING! It is the absolute worst****

 

Well done!

 

Thanks Vad. It was a weird bitter sweet moment. Bitter because I know I’m not recovered.. sweet because I was able to maintain my resolve and put it down.

 

Keep your head up and your D down as they say.

I would reset for sure but sure not all of the progress is lost. Google - In case you didnt know Nofap. Its a good topic that helps to learn the essence of nofap and tips on how to think and stay safe.

 

I appreciate the kind words. Just keep progressing and don't look back is the mind set. If i would have full on PMO'ed or had a prolonged edging I definitely would be resetting, but I'm going to write off those 3 minutes and look positively at my last 160,000+ good minutes instead. Regardless thanks for the response.

 

This post reminded me of something I read once where it is a greater success of 80% adherence to a pattern of activity over a whole year than 100% adherence for a month and then quitting. While I want to have 100% success all the time, I know I'm human and won't be able to do that every time.

I suffered from a reset today. It got me down because I had to start my counter over, but I looked at what I had achieved with over 90% of the days abstaining from PMO completely over the past 2 1/2 months since I joined this site. I have not had that kind of success ever and it is a good reminder of the continual improvement we should all be striving for.

Congratulations on your achievements and keep moving forward!

 

Thank you.
I like this a lot I couldn’t agree more. I can end up doing this “shame spiral” where I beat myself for not being perfect and then I end up binging and total relapsing so I’m not doing that anymore.
Do you mind if I ask why you reset? Did you full on PMO?

 

Congrats dude. Keep up the good works

 

It’s fine to ask. I did reset because of full on PMO. After giving it some thought, I had been going through a lot of stress recently and the day before was a bad day overall. So that combined with a gloomy rainy day brought it on.