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How to stop overthinking situations

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Biggus Dickus, Oct 28, 2019.

  1. Oct 28, 2019 #1
    Biggus Dickus

    Biggus Dickus Fapstronaut

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    It seems like we act best when we do not care about the outcome of a situation. When we do care about a situation, we tend to overthink it because we are afraid of failing.

    I think I screwed up a number of approaches to girls that way. Like thinking about what I'll say before approaching them and then kinda stumbling half of that stupidly.
    On the other hand I often feel like I am receiving attraction from girls that I do not care about in a sexual way when interacting with them. This also goes for interactions that I can't prepare for so I can't overthink anything.

    I guess that falls under the term neediness. So how do I go about adopting a more carefree attitude?
     
    Biggus Dickus, Oct 28, 2019
    Biggus Dickus, Oct 28, 2019
    #1
  2. Oct 28, 2019 #2
    yourhomieishere

    yourhomieishere Fapstronaut

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    I really think it just takes practice. There's no magic way to be carefree. I think mental/emotional attitudes are taught and we need time to practice and learn the way we want to act. For example, you can't just decide to not be afraid. You just take the leap while you are still afraid, talk to that girl while your heart is beating fast and you don't know what to say! The more you do that, I think after a while it will become easier. (Also, if you screw up that's okay! The girl isn't the right one if she can't see through your screwups and see you for who you actually are). Personally, I get terrified talking to girls but it gets easier mate. I have a grocery store job and I would barely talk a few months ago, but now I am starting to be more comfortable talking to the cashier girls.
     
    yourhomieishere, Oct 28, 2019
    yourhomieishere, Oct 28, 2019
    #2
    Biggus Dickus likes this.
  3. Oct 29, 2019 #3
    Gorilla.hands

    Gorilla.hands Fapstronaut

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    For me its the same. What is helping me is to write down my problem (like afraid of failing) and try to do a mindmap about the reasons why I feel like that. When you know why you are feeling like that, then you can actually change it.. but thats just my opinion. Writing down stuff always helps me.
     
    Gorilla.hands, Oct 29, 2019
    Gorilla.hands, Oct 29, 2019
    #3
    Biggus Dickus and yourhomieishere like this.
  4. Oct 30, 2019 #4
    Biggus Dickus

    Biggus Dickus Fapstronaut

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    I think you're both right. Writing down experiences is something I started doing as well a little while ago. I write into a journal where I try to analyse the day for what worked and what didn't.
     
    Biggus Dickus, Oct 30, 2019
    Biggus Dickus, Oct 30, 2019
    #4
    Gorilla.hands likes this.
  5. Oct 31, 2019 #5
    Gorilla.hands

    Gorilla.hands Fapstronaut

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    Just keep it consistent, I had to get used to it at first :)
     
    Gorilla.hands, Oct 31, 2019
    Gorilla.hands, Oct 31, 2019
    #5

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