I have a severe self-confidence issue

Deleted Account · Oct 31, 2019

I have absolutely no self-confidence in any sense. Every-day I feel like something is missing. An empty piece seems to be missing from my personality and that piece is where my confidence is meant to be, but it ran away and I am left on reserve power. I feel very light but weighted down, almost like a 1-ton feather. Even when I breathe I can feel a lack of strength, such a weak feeling, it’s weird but this is becoming pathetic. Hearing from somebody I know that ‘I am lacking in confidence very badly’ is nothing out of the ordinary as I know it is the truth, I'd hadn't realised I gave off such a weak character even though I have been told I do.

When I watch a show or a movie and see a character acting strong, bold, and powerful I find myself acting as if that is what I am truly like on a day to day basis, until pushed into a corner and I revert back to my weak-self.

I cannot look in the mirror without judging myself and finding flaws,
I cannot walk down the street without questioning and wondering what people in cars are thinking about me,
I cannot say anything in public without being concerned on if my voice is deep or high pitched,
I cannot wear any clothes without thinking 'I need to lose weight'. or 'I need to gain weight'.

Day after day the same questions emerge, answered by my insecurity.

They say you should visualise the you-you want to be in your mind and try to be like them. Well I see him and I am struggling.

Deleted Account · Oct 31, 2019

Try not to overthink these feelings. There is no answer, no explamation that makes it go away. Instead of that you might look for a situation where you can get away from these feelings. Be patient, it will pass. And while you are waiting, why not do things you enjoy, your way.

Infrasapiens · Oct 31, 2019

I feel the same. Eventually you just stop caring.

Windkick · Oct 31, 2019

Rebooting is different for everyone, but confidence does return. A lot of guys on this forum report major milestones of energy and confidence after just a month or so, but for me this took a little over 3 and a half months. It started in small bursts of a couple days at a time but would subside. Now I've been feeling pretty good since about Monday. I mean, I was going to bed at 6:00-7:30pm every night and now it's 9:00 and I don't think I'll be going to bed until maybe 10:00-11:00pm (speaking of energy levels). Socially I wouldn't say I've gotten drastically way better but you get the point. Everything in doses, just don't touch it...

skibum71 · Nov 1, 2019

You build self esteem by performing esteem building acts. Take something that needs doing, but scares you, something you think is beyond you. Start small - don't task yourself with making $1k by the end of the week for example. Choose something just outside your comfort zone. Then take a deep breath and do it. When you have done it, you will feel proud, you will be pleased with yourself because you accomplished something you thought was beyond yourself.
That's is how you build self esteem.
Good luck!

apimpnamedslickback · Nov 1, 2019

You ever read any self help books? Ive also been using this time to decidedly take a hard right and change several aspects of my life to be the best but more importantly,who i want to be. If interested a few you should check out (ive read them myself their great)
The 50th law- 50 cent & robert green
This one is a no bullshit aproach to overcomeing fear and self doubt

Talking with confidence for the painfully shy-Don Gabor
this one is more of a how to when it comes to social interactions,this is the one im currently reading and its pretty valuable IMO.

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I have a severe self-confidence issue

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