I am 47 and afraid of becoming asexual

Hi,
I am 47, married for 12 years and father of one child 9yo and one step-child 20 yo.
I have been addicted to porn since early adolescence and had problems with potency for whole of my life. I am diabetic, type 1 with a late on-set, started when I was 35.
I had a couple of longer relationships - one earlier marriage, then 2-3 couple months relationships and quite a lot of short ones, and now a true marriage with a person I am completely devoted to.
My wife is an incredible person and I really enjoyed sex with her, it seemed like a total physical match, I would get an E just by looking in her eyes. We are also compatible because we both like quick sex without a lot of "gymnastics", like rabbits. The problem is that I was never a guy that can "fuck all day" and "fuck anything that walks". I always needed to have a special "situation" in my head to want to have sex at all. And it was always "a problem". For a long time I felt uneasy during sex, thinking "am I doing it right", generally thinking too much about it, never really relaxed (I am that kind of a person, over-thinking everything).
After my wife got pregnant we practically stopped having sex at all. Our little one was really a problem and we had a hard time for the first couple of years to keep ourselves together as a family, it was really hard. But we endured and everything passed great, so our kid is now incredible, no one would tell what a beast he was
But during that period we somehow "lost" it. There was a lot of talk about whether we want another child or not, and because he was really a hard kid, and we were old and not of great health (my wife had in her younger days some serious problems "down there" from HPV and is in constant panic about that), we decided to not have more children. But she gets aroused mostly of speaking about impregnation and coming inside her, that makes her come, and so we always "played the act" in that way. The thing is that it started to make me totally stressed because I had to act like I was going to come inside her, while in fact I had to get it out at the last moment. We could not use condoms because I could not keep an E and it would fall off. Also, I am quite big and she would sometimes have a little bleeding which would cause panic because of her cervix problems. All of that, combined with little sleep and long working hours, made "the whole sex thing" quite uncomfortable for me and so it started to happen that more or less she initiated it. Then a couple of times I could not perform at all and it was a big hit for her, she was off course feeling hurt as if she is the problem.
So sex became the biggest problems and for a couple of times we almost divorced, but since everything else in our life is great, and especially since our son created a really strong bond between us as we are raising him totally together (she wanted that to be that way), we remained together.
All of that time I was MO 2-3 times a week, generally when I would feel a stress and needed a relief which it gave to me.
Two years ago, after a really bad conversation, I googled and discovered NoFap and started a reboot. I lasted for 42 days and stopped because I had sex with my wife using a pill which I got prescribed. It was really good. Then life passed, we tried once more but I could not come for a long time and she started to feel pain so we stopped.
I then took a pill couple of times but we did not have sex because she would fall asleep. It is important to know that we don't sleep together for the last 3 years because our son sleeps in our bed (it was the only way to make him sleep) and I was kicked out of the bed because I snore really hard and can not stop it, so it was waking both my wife and my son up in the middle of the night. For me it is not a problem, but off course it makes it harder to be intimate.
After this long introduction that I think is needed as a context for my question, here is the real issue.
As I am obviously not a guy with a great libido, and really dont have any great urges for sex unless as a stress relief (although I really like touches, cuddling, and we do that a lot), every time I stop masturbating in order to try to make sex with my wife more appealing (because she feels deprived and our relationship / marriage is suffering), I feel like I am becoming totally asexual. I can push myself away from porn, but at the same time I am totally loosing interest in sex and woman in general. I spend a lot of time with my wife and our son, we are always together. I play with him a lot, she is not the type, works with kids so has no patience for playing at home. My business life is really interesting, I have a creative job doing 10-15 projects in parallel all the time, and I can easily totally forget about sex. Also, in my times I really did all I phantasised, I had almost 100 lovers and I have really "lived it out" sexually.
On the other hand, my wife has no problem with me MOing, she also likes porn, and we even had sex a lot of times while both watching porn which was really exciting for me, I did not do it with any other woman I was with. But she HAS a big problem with us not having sex at all. She says that once a month would be totally great for her.
If I did not have problems with my E, we would probably continue doing that.
So I am puzzled. I can totally imagine, being 47, a future in which I will have no more "real" sex ever again in my life. Yes, it would be both strange and sad, but I can imagine it and it would not be a tragedy. Life is not all about sex, especially if you are creative in other areas of your life.
And somehow this porn has "coloured" all of my sex life. I never had a sexual relationship in my life in which I was "clear from porn". So it makes me wonder - like with Hemingway who came to be treated for alcoholism, and then the doctor said, I can treat you, but maybe I will also cure your writing - is it possible that removing porn totally away from my life at 47, and after 35 years of fapping, will make me asexual and not interested in sex at all? Are there such cases recorded? Or is the "primordial sex drive" strong enough in 50 yo males that are not high-libido types to overcome that? I somehow can not imagine myself "being young again sexually", especially knowing that I already started E pills at 45.
And, also, what is the better choice? To let it be as it is, using porn in a controlled way (2-3 times a week), having a non-sex marriage as long as it works for my wife (she also masturbates, her mother openly told her that she did not have sex for the last 20 years...), and where it might happen again that we will have our porn-induced sex when our little one leaves our bedroom in a year or two; or to go into the area where it might happen that I totally loose any interest in sex and woman in a sexual way, and start really treating it as something that I dont need in any form? How will get an E in a year or two when I am 50 if I had problems in my teenage years? Will my wife arouse me sexually at all enough to get an E without porn?
I am puzzled, please help.