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7 years of trying and failing - 20 days Porn free - I need your help / advise please

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Silverson, Nov 3, 2019.

  1. Silverson

    Silverson Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    I am on a record, first time since 7 years of trying and failing. I have now achieved 20 days without Porn. As well, I do not use any Dating applications like Tinder etc. I am very happy with my progress but I am also very scared that soon I will fail and be back at zero again.

    Please tell me what helped you in the progress?
    In order to maintain and not fall back again. Any tips and good habits are welcomed.

    My newest advise, is that liquor is very dangerous (at least for me).
    This weekend I noticed that liquor is very harmfull . I usually only drink 3 beers and not anymore with friends in order not to do something stupid with porn the same night or next day due to the hangover. However, I drank 2 beers last night and 1 glas of whiskey. The beers I enjoy but the whiskey really got me on fire, the urges was attacking me and I also felt my behavior changed. I was speaking and thinking much more openly than I use to. Many times I noticed that I would never say this with only beer but the whiskey/ liquor made it easy like an open book. I did not make a fool of myself since I am a social person but I was not as in control as I like and prefer.

    Anyways , I wish everybody good luck in this journey to become a better person without porn. And I am very grateful for all help and support I can receive.

    All the best!
     
  2. @Silverson a man with a lion avatar asks nobody for nothing, he tears people apart.
    that means you care.

    My advices are working out, cold showers, reading, competing, move with a purpose, surround yourself with male energy. Alphas like a shark. Pray, actually believe. It is possible changing your life for the good! NEEEEVA GIVE UP. CONTINUE.
     
    LoooL likes this.
  3. Here's a few things I want to tell you.

    1. Admit you have a problem. Back before starting NoFap, I thought my fetishes for heavier/big women and muscular women was normal. Eventually I decided it was an issue and started working on getting rid of it.
    2. Find something to do when you get an urge. Urges often happen when your bored and have nothing better to do.
    3. Finally one last thing but restrict your phone time. Try an app called off time.
     
  4. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    What are your reasons to quit?
     
  5. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I've made a post about what helped me break out of 25 years long (P)MO addiction cycle here -> Yesterday at 8:17 PM
    Maybe you can find something useful in it for yourself. Also this post is directly related to your question -> Today at 4:08 PM
     
  6. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Put some more effort man. Just that. If you really want there's no way you cant stay 20 days without pmo. Everybody can.
     
  7. Ronaldo Machuca

    Ronaldo Machuca Fapstronaut

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    Just don't look up any phrases, words, keywords, expressions, etc. that lead to you being sexually aroused. Don't type them and press search. You won't ever look at porn even when you have urges if you avoid typing it.
     
    Love life family likes this.
  8. Qtir_nvr_wins

    Qtir_nvr_wins Fapstronaut

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    As your brain is removing one strong habit (addiction) it needs another strong habit also to fill that vacuum space created in between the neuro receptors. So try meditation(chanting is the best , it remofies your subconscious brain). You MUST do a new strong habit DAILY. It is been in every religion that chanting is the best medicine for modification. If you are an atheist then you can chant your moms name as well( it WILL help)
    You can and you will
     
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  9. Silverson

    Silverson Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your reply!

    Haha very funny about the lion avatar :)

    True!

    I am doing most what you are saying already but I gotta believe that this time change is for real :)
     
  10. Silverson

    Silverson Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your reply!

    1, You are correct on this. I thought my fetishes of transexual girls was normal but I later realised it was mostly porn induced. Why should I want something that I only want to have sex with but not have a relationship with?
    2, This is the hardest part. I usual go for a long walk and this most of the time calms all negative thoughts.
    3, Great idéa. I have really been struggling with this. I have now downloaded the app and will try it :) Many thanks!
     
  11. Silverson

    Silverson Fapstronaut

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    Good question.
    Well, I cannot manage my life anymore with this addiction. My social life, love life and work life is at risk when using porn or any visual sex/dating application. It has come to a point that either I choose my addiction or the real life without it.
    Live alone or live in the world.
     
  12. Silverson

    Silverson Fapstronaut

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    Many thanks for your post!
    I read your posts and watched the video about alcohol. They helped me a lot and answered my questions. Especially in regards to alcohol and the negative effects.
     
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  13. Silverson

    Silverson Fapstronaut

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    I think you missunderstand my post , I have just stayed PMO free for 21 days now. I was asking for advise in order to continue to abstain from porn. Will power is important but advise in how to change your behavior is essential.
     
  14. Silverson

    Silverson Fapstronaut

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    True, I like what you say. I think when you have a urge you should never use your phone / computer or anything that you can type on. In that way more than half the battle is already won. Good advise! Many thanks!
     
    Love life family likes this.
  15. Silverson

    Silverson Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your post!
    What you are saying makes sense. I have been meditation 2 times a day. every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to sleep. I have been doing this for years. And I really like you advise advise about chantra meditiation.

    I just watched a chantra meditation on youtube, I really liked it. It is super nice and spiritual. Should one also sing the words during the meditation or only listen to the song?

    I do not have a religion but I believe in god. I will try this meditation tonight, I can already know feel the spiritual impact.
    Great advise! Many thanks!
     
  16. keepitinmybriefs

    keepitinmybriefs Fapstronaut

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    What matters is finding something to fill the time you'd otherwise be spending with PMO. If meditation works for you, great! There's also working out, hiking, board games, reading, listening to music, writing... there's a whole world of fun hobbies out there to discover!
     
  17. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    Then you need to quit PMO. Keep it up.
     
    Silverson likes this.
  18. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    okay! cool, 20 days is a fresh start :)
     
    Silverson likes this.
  19. Silverson

    Silverson Fapstronaut

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    Many thanks for your post. You are so right!
    Nowdays I am dancing salsa once a week, taking long walks across the ocean, playin pool or tennis with friends, reading books and listening to music.
    As well, I am trying to find new hobbies and try new stuff in order to rediscover myself.
     
  20. keepitinmybriefs

    keepitinmybriefs Fapstronaut

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    All of those sound great! Though I'm wondering how you're walking on the ocean?
     
    Jake n Bake likes this.

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