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300 Days of Monk Mode – The Death of Desires

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Fenix Rising, Oct 27, 2019.

  1. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, much appreciated.

    I'm gonna start dating again once I hit 314 days and see how it goes from there. 314 days number is based on the neuro study I posted on May 24, 2019 I've decided it will be my line in the sand. But I'm gonna strive to be P, MO and PMO free for good. That's my "mountain peak". Maybe I'll slip off it some day, never say never, but I'll keep returning to that mountain top. All alternatives proved to be hell in my case.
     
    Zeeshaan and alexg1709 like this.
  2. Deforio11

    Deforio11 Fapstronaut

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    this story is proof that it is possible to overcome this addiction
     
  3. Thommas Le

    Thommas Le Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations on your 300 days.
    I would like to ask more specifically how do you deal with depression. I usually feel depressed as hell on the 3rd week and that is the main reason I relapse each time. So knowing how to deal with it will be of great help. Thanks bro.
     
  4. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, I appreciate it.
    Yes, depression and anxiety were the main obstacles on my recovery path too. 3rd week is the time when withdrawal symptoms usually start to kick in. I made it past 30, 60, 90 even 180 days mark in the past, put the build-up anxiety and depression got so great that I always broke eventually and relapse. It wasn't until I made addressing depression my first priority that I have been able to sustain long term abstinence without stress/depression and anxiety buildup. Luckily I came across Dr. Stephen Ilardi's 6-Step Program to Beat Depression Without Drugs For the first time I refocused my attention from PMO abstention alone to implementation of suggested steps into my daily life and it made all the difference in the world. This program isn't a magic bullet fix as it requires a lot of self-discipline and hard work on your body and mindset, but it is effective as long as you stick with it. You also can't expect to see results immediately, I needed about a month to notice first benefits, but it gets better and better as long as you continue following the program.

    Basic steps of this program are http://tlc.ku.edu/elements

    1. Physical Activity (Exercise) -> I downloaded free walking/running 5K app and follow it to the letter for 8 weeks until finish and walk for 30-60 minutes in nature the rest of the week days
    2. Omega-3 Fatty Acids -> Ate large spoon of fish oil every day, tried to drink enough water, have balanced diet plus added Vitamin B complex, D3, Zn, Mg, Ca (milk), K (bananas) supplement
    3. Sunlight -> I tried to be on the sun at least for 15 minutes every day. I also did my exercise program outside in nature so I got sufficient sunlight this way
    4. Healthy Sleep -> This one was very difficult and still is for me as I suffered from insomnia during withdrawals. But general guidelines are to get 7-9H night sleep, preferably between 11pm and 2am.
    5. Anti-Ruminative Activity -> The problem with depression is that we tend to get lock into negative thinking about our past and/or future prospects. You have to learn to break this rumination lock-down
    It's not easy thing to do, but there are tricks how to do it. One is to do some activity that occupies your mind, so you can't ruminate around negative emotions anymore.
    I try to meditate (WIM HOF breathing technic, pranayama) and adopt stoic way of thinking (Markus Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus, Lao Tzu - Tao de Jing). Cognitive behavior
    therapy (CBT) is based on this classical philosophy and Taoism is very similar to it in this regard. The point here is to learn how to focus your mind on the present moment,
    instead of being locked on your past or overthinking about what future might bring.
    6. Social Connection -> Depression causes us to withdraw and isolate ourselves from people. But this will make depression even worse over time. It's not an easy thing to do when you suffer from
    anxiety and depression, but you've got to maintain social connections. I started with simply accepting all the phone calls and friend's invitations. I had a conversation or went out
    for a drink even though I didn't want to go. This way you stop further isolation. Once you start feeling better you might join some common activity like joining some group with
    common interest, take classes that interest you, volunteer etc. As I've written this point is very hard, but every step you take in this direction is better than none.

    You can find much more information in my daily journal where I wrote down all the progress and setbacks I encountered following the program. I hope this helps somewhat.
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2019
  5. PMO addict1

    PMO addict1 Fapstronaut

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    How often You had wet dreams ??
     
  6. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I don't have them. I notice semen in my urine sometimes, that's all.
     
  7. Thommas Le

    Thommas Le Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the very detailed reply bro. I have already been doing some of the things you mentioned and they do help a lot.
     
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  8. PMO addict1

    PMO addict1 Fapstronaut

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    You dont have them Now ?? or since starting???

    I have wet dream almost every 25 days... is it. bad..??.. And last time i was about to ejaculate in dream and i woke up at the very moment of cumming and stopped myself from ejaculating but feeling like pressure of semen in penis.. and today I had semen leakage because i lusted yesterday..... Is it all bad for my reboot ?
     
  9. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I don't know the answer.
     
  10. Shin Iu

    Shin Iu Fapstronaut

    Congratulations
     
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  11. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, but it should be me who congratulates you. 627 days is outstanding achievement.
     
    control your life likes this.
  12. Shin Iu

    Shin Iu Fapstronaut

    That's one year ago, and thank you for your praises. Work together with facing the hardships
     
  13. control your life

    control your life Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Congrats friend ! Keep strong!
     
    NICEDUDE and Fenix Rising like this.
  14. Resonated with your message man. More power to you. Yeah i'm that guy who loves, i mean LOVES setting insane, unrealistic goals in front of me and then get all worked up about it. Funny thing is, all of that accumulated as stress long term and led me to relapse. Smaller goals as you have eventually come to realise, are realistic and measurable. I experience bouts of depression too from time to time, but they pass. Saw that movie joker that came out recently. I was ruminating, the kind of society we live in, there is barely any empathy, compassion left out there. So i can on some level understand why people are preferring social isolation. No one really listens because most really don't care! That's the reality we live in. But i'm fortunate that i made a few friends in this forum with whom i can share my joys and sorrows.

    PS: I'm trying to cut back on binge watching. Any advise on this OP?
     
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  15. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Not really. I think the need for binge watching goes away by itself once you fill your day with other activities and continue with PMO abstinence.
     
  16. @Fenix Rising thanks for all you have to share man. When I see that orange firebird of yours next to a comment or post, I almost always read, I've been hopping around on this site for half a year now and you've been a bighuge help, thanks again.
     
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  17. A nocturnal discharge every 25 days seems excessive. Perhaps you are eating too much greasy food. Or it could be your,if you are under 25, age.
    I would not say it is by itself bad for your reboot. However lusting is the fuel which drives PMO. Ergo you must overcome your lust. Or at least control it.
    Take care pal and keep posting.
     
  18. im_alive

    im_alive Fapstronaut

    very very true. We have to be kind to ourselves. Self hatred is the real problem here
     
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  19. Stp890

    Stp890 Fapstronaut

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    How long had you been masturbating ? i mean the years,and what is your longest streak in which you cure your problems especially PIED ?
     

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