Lost...

Hey man, it’s okay. Don’t be ashamed of yourself. But if you really want to stop porn, delete everything right now. Spend time with your wife and children. Be a good fucking role model. Do it your wife and kids. Fuck the porn. when you want to watch porn, go do something else to distract yourself. Be confident, be disciplined. I believe in you. Good luck!!

 

Porn can warp your sexual tastes to stuff that goes against your own sexual orientation.

Are you gay or bisexual? I have no clue, only you know that. What I can tell you is that becoming addicted to porn and escalating to genres that make you feel shameful and don’t correlate with your real life, are not connected to your true orientation/tastes.

The incident with the dildo doesn’t make you gay or bi, if this is causing you shame cause you feel as if this is not you, then it is highly likely porn induced.

Your addicted to the dopamine release you have when you PMO, and transgendered person porn gives you this big shock of adrenaline and this takes control over you, you become somebody you are not, then when you climax you are ashamed and disgusted with what you watched. This is classical conditioning/escalation, your brain got sick of the vanilla stuff, and sought out more extreme things.

In regards to meeting a transsexual, I would throw that idea out the window immediately. You seem to be bothered around this topic and it causes you a great amount of shame looking at how deep you’ve gone, so going to meet a transsexual will just feed a dopamine high and not the reality of what you want. If you meet with a transgendered person, you might do something you’ll regret so bad, it will traumatize you for the rest of your life. Also, you are married, you would be unfaithful to your wife who is the mother of your kids, to meet up a transvestite? Come on bro, get this shit out of your head, you are better then this.

A lot of people struggle with escalation with transgendered person porn, it’s very common. A lot of people have even escalated to gay, some have went to child and animal porn, you aren’t alone in this escalation fiasco.

What you need to do is quit PMO, I recommend you make small goals for yourself, start with 5 days, then 10, then 20, then 30, then 50, then 100, then a year and keep going from there. The best option is to quit cold turkey, it will be hard, but think of your wife and kids, this is not a joke dude this seriously has the potential to destroy the future of your family, and even your own life.

Don’t feel too bad about what you’ve done so far, people have done worse. Understand that porn has the power to do this, and it can destroy your core values. In my opinion, I don’t believe you are gay or bisexual, judging by how you say you’ve never felt attracted to men.

I believe in you man, but you have to believe in yourself. When you feel comfortable, tell your wife, you don’t have to tell her about the transgendered person porn or the dildo shit, but tell her you have a problem with porn in general and what your plan is to fix it. Abstinence is important for you right now, I recommend a full 90 day hard mode reboot, which means no porn, masturbation or orgasm for 90 days. When that is over, I think you can start having sex with your wife but continue to never watch porn or masturbate again.

Understand this isn’t a game, this is serious... so take it serious.

Good luck Ray, you got this brother.

 

Hi Ray,

Thank you for sharing your story here and making this brave step.
Like many other nofap members here I don't think you are into transwoman sex, because your sex addiction turned
you towards more extremes just to get your dopamine kicks.
i have also been there myself by looking at transwoman, rape, aunty, cuckold, videos.

Before it escalates, you need to reflect on your life and the future you want with your family.
You don't want to be the married guy that went out to have sex with a transwoman hooker just because his porn addiction turned him towards a
world of shame and pain. You are not that guy!
There are some men here that took the step and had sex with a transgendered person, and
every single one of those lads regretted it big time!
The only thing you can do right now is to commit 100% to the no pmo lifestyle.

From this day on, no more porn, masturbation.
I'm afraid there is no other way to heal the damage you took, and I think you already know this.

 

Interesting story. Being married with children should be enough reason for most people to stop it but not the PMO addicts like you, me and a lot of others here.
There is no button that you press and your thoughts just magically disappear. I wish it were that easy! You just need to keep yourself occupied. Spend time with your family instead even if you don't feel like doing it. Your thoughts are appearing because you let them, if you keep yourself busy eventually they go away and so does the addiction.

You did a good thing by getting rid of the dildo because that only will keep feeding your thoughts. Sometimes you say:"Okay I will do this or that thing and to satisfy my addiction. Then it will go away" But it's not like that at all. Quite the opposite actually. If you keep feeding the urges then they'll only grow stronger and becomes harder to get rid of them

So hang in there. Resist them day to day and trust me everything will work out for you

 

I fully agree with the other responses. I never went to the more extreme categories but I've also wasted a lot of time. What helps me is to stay extremely busy so that I don't have time for watching porn. This helps for the first few days and then it gets easier.

 

Hi Ray,
So at this point in time I'd say it isnt a good idea to try a transwoman, cheating on your wife will make this far worse.
All you have to do is start this process. That's what it is, it's a fucking hard, slow process. Decide why you want to stop pmo, and do it.
All I can say is it works, your brain is the same as my brain, and everyone else's here, and you can rewire it. It takes time but you can.
Start reading some success stories so that you can see what you can achieve, what is possible. Then begin it yourself. Nobody here can tell you how or why, they are things that at some point are going to jump up and punch you in the face, and you'll be stunned, scared, full of anxiety and fear. Sounds like you may have had an encounter already, that's good, you know it serious. Dude, youve a wife and two babies, that's so much, your life could be complete, you've all to win here. Go hold your kids, man, look into their eyes, what kind of dad do they need? A fapper or a dad that's strong and who is in control of himself?
Who do you want to be Ray? Be that guy, because you can be. If I can believe I can be the guy I want to be, then you can too. Now drop your cock and grab your socks, today is the day Ray, what are you gonna do?

 

You cannot stop these thoughts. They are going to keep popping up often during your reboot but you must not give in. Just ignore them and they will go away
The only way to get rid of this habit is to replace it with a healthier one. Most of us choose working out but it could be anything. Like painting, driving, spending more time with your wife and children. Anything healthier than that will do and trust me if you keep this up, you will be rid of this addiction once and for all. Will it take time? Yes of course but good things come to those who wait remember that

 

Here is another man messed up with this.

Hello, in the first place, there is nothing obvious to be really shameful about at this point. And there never will be. Because we call it ADDICTION. And you know what counts here is your awareness of accepting this. This will probably be the first mature and realistic approach to the issue. And you mention that it has already been 20 years and that is too long. But there is a worse scenario is that it is a 21 years. Or one more day being spent on this addiction.

You could indulge in a spesific genre right now. Every man here hooks on different specific ones here which I am myself been through. That is not the way how we can resolve the problem. Be sure that keeping yourself in this way will likely lead to worse genres as your taste will escalate and the rewiring is just gonna cause you to demand more repulsive ones.

So my brother, an advice or a warning or whatever way you get it, just not to be too concerned with your standstill position and try to foresee and forget about the shame. You may be watching transwoman, that does not matter. But try to understand yourself, and stop it.