I May Have Triggered My Wife (POSSIBLE TRIGGERS)

I'm a husband, but I want an honest female opinion on this scenario:

I have been trying NoFap (with varying degress of success) for nearly 6 months now (my longest streak was 74 days, soft mode reboot). I have known for years that I needed to quit p0rn, it was causing me (minor) ED issues and I was watching it and PMOing during any free moment I had (whenever wife was out or kids away).
I am 34, and my wife is 31 and we've been together for 10 years and have a great, wonderful sex life...of course, for some reason I have kept PMOing in all that time (I started masterbating aged 17, to p0rn..quite late, I know!) and it seems like a nasty habit that has stuck around.

Of course, my wife and I had made a few amateur videos & photos, and I feel bad that I posted them to

Spoiler: *Possibly triggering content*

our Xhamster account....of course, she was mad at first that I'd posted them; and that I'd chatted to other girls/guys on there....she threatened to kick me out, as I expected....then things got a little strange, because they next day she video called me at work whilst she was masterbating in our bed, saying the whole situation turned her on so much! The next few days were a binge of us having lots of sex (whilst watching p0rn, messaging other couples, taking photos, etc, etc and generally being really naughty). We shared each other's secret fantasies (she told me she was into other women; and had lesbian experience when she was 16) and I told her mine - which I expected her to wince at (double vaginal penetration and threesomes) - but she completely surprised me saying it turned her on too, and whilst having sex we watched lots of those videos, and both got so turned on we almost invited a complete stranger round to try it with us, she was that turned on by my fantasy.

It was a mad few days, and luckily it only ended at a few naughty photos & messages, and we didn't indulge in that fantasy. It has calmed down a bit now over the last week or so, as my wife knows I'm dedicated to NoFap, but I do still feel bad that I've perhaps corrupted my wife, or maybe bought out something in her? Have I opened a pandora's box? She confessed she started watching p0rn on her own whilst I'm at work, but only sometimes.

I know most PMO-involved fantasies are purely VISUAL (double vaginal penetration, in my instance) is a fantasy that appeals to me on that level, but I'm sure if we tried it with a stranger in real life, my wife and I would feel awful afterwards and loose our bond. We've never cheated on each other, and for most part have a good marriage. Of course I'm doing NoFap to make our relationship one based on PHYSICAL and EMOTIONAL love instead of perverted VISUAL fantasies that p0rn promotes.

I'm just worried now that my wife will get into PMO when I'm not around, as it seemed to channel something into her...I hope I am still enough for her and haven't corrupted her! Thanks.

 

Thanks Guys,

We've been really good the last few days (Day 8 now of this streak!) with no peeking, masterbating or PMO. She's told me she's not watched any either, and our

Spoiler: *Possibly triggering*

Xhamster

and Twitter accounts were deleted. Starting to feel really good again, the longer we stay away from p0rn! Had good sex last night, amazing how much more fulfilling & great it feels the longer away from p0rn - I can't even begin to imagine how many couples have been corrupted or messed up by it in this digital age.

My wife & I hold no secrets now, tbh once we had this mad scenario and got it out of the way, we've talked about it and calmed down and agreed it was just silly fantasies and that we're just happy with each other! Life is already complicated enough as it is, without needing to make it more so! So we'll stick with the NoFap course and trust in love.

Thanks again guys!

 

So you don't think there's anything morally wrong with the idea then? In real life??

As long as we are staying away from PMO? I'm just worried it's a lustful fantasy I've got from porn, or if it's a legitimate sexual fetish?

 

Thanks guys! Day 9 nearly done, chuffed I've not done any peeking this week either...luckily been having sex a lot this week, which has dampened any PMO urges completely.

I know we can do this, we're still young (I'm 34, she's 31) so we can look forward to a happy future still

 

Well, you've got a good head on your shoulders, bravery in your heart and your loyal as hell. There is one thing I would like to ad to your wonderful situation. That is to think of ways to ad romance to your marriage. Men typically don't realize that a little romance goes a long way. Just some things outside of the sex and away from her to let her know that you deeply care. A friend of mine has a florest deliver a fresh rose to his wife everyday with a tag line or short poem. You can think of other ways to say I love you. Most men don't realize that by doing that you will hold on to your marriage and your wife will never think of wandering. Forget the PMO; it will destroy your marriage like it was another man. If you're doing that to "liven up your sex life" then read more together to get some ideals you haven't tried. When you're at dinner and an exquisite woman sashay's by your table don't dare take your eyes off your wife. You can do it...

 

Well said. That's exactly what you did. (Not to put the blame completely on you, because your wife has her own choices as well.)

I know this guy deleted his account and this thread is old, but in case anyone else is in this same situation, listen up boys:

YOU are supposed to be the Spiritual leader of your household. Some people may not agree with that, but it's how it was created to be. You are responsible for leading your wife toward God, not away from Him.

It makes me so sad to hear about situations like this, because it's exactly the opposite of how it's supposed to be. As the man of the house, as her husband, you are supposed to protect her and be a good leader. Which starts by leading by example, by the way. You are supposed to be the one protecting her from stuff like this, not pushing her into it.

Please, men, don't listen to the media's attack on your masculinity. You have a special and unique purpose as husbands, and that is to sacrifice yourself for your wife and be a good Spiritual leader. If you're not religious, maybe you don't think of that as being about God specifically, but you should still recognize that getting your wife involved in porn is a spiritual problem. It effect her Spirit, not just her physical body. And it's your job to protect that, even if it means sacrificing something yourself.

Dont worry, women have jobs too. I'm not just putting everything on the men. But this is important for men to know, especially in the light of the way the media currently talks about men being useless. You are not useless. You have an important job, and you need to take it seriously.

Don't be like this guy. Don't corrupt your wife and lead her down a bad path. Lead her in the right direction.

 

Letting your wife watch porn with you is just as though you're having a threesome with another man. Cherish your wife and bring romance into your relationship so it will grow. Let her know every day in some small way how much you really love her, or one day you may find that her eyes have wondered.