Another broken promise

Hello,

Short version: I’m 28, boyfriend is 33...we’ve been together 3 years, lived together a year and a half. I have ptsd from abuse and other things and I’ve always been honest about how porn and rejection effects me. Since living together, my partner hardly wants sex, watches very hardcore porn, turns down family events to stay home and watch it even on my birthday...every time he starts by saying he didn’t, then admits it and promises it won’t happen again. It always does.


Longer version.
I really needed a space to express my feelings and maybe ask for some help how I can deal with this in a better way. I know that I have a lot of trust issues etc, which I’m seeing professionals about and trying to improve but...what’s happening in my relationship isn’t helping.

Been with my boyfriend for 3 years now...I’ve always been honest about my issues with porn, I was forced to watch it repeatedly with my then-stepdad as a young teenager and i have had damaging violent relationships with porn addicts since then etc...

Since me and my partner moved in together, he hardly wants to have sex but he repeatedly watches porn. Some rape style scenes, older men ‘violating’ young women and that kind of thing...

He’s very emotionally loving most of the time...and when I told him how much him forcing me into anal sex was hurting me, he stopped and apologised. The porn is replacing me, he would rather watch that than be intimate with me.

Me and my son love him so much, but I feel so hurt right now. I know I have the option of asking him to leave...but that’s last case scenario, I really want to believe that things can get better but I don’t know the best way to handle it that won’t make things worst. I do believe people can change their behaviour if they have reasons to and want to. He’s a recovering alcoholic, and on and off that’s been going really well because he decided he wanted to make some changes.

I don’t know how I can rebuild the trust with him that’s been broken over and over again.