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Questions for the people who escalated to gay/transgendered person porn

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Deleted Account, Nov 16, 2019.

  1. How did you guys escalate?
    Did you ever start by imagining yourself as the girl in straight porn?
    How did you feel after you climax?
    How does it make you feel in real life?
    Do you find it repulsive after taking some time away from it?
    Have you developed HOCD?
     
  2. Ultrafabber made a thread with almost this exact same title - https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...nes-that-escalated-to-gay-trans-stuff.251683/

    I started with trans porn very early. It might be the case that I'm just simply attracted to trans women.

    I never watched straight porn, tried but I never liked it. I don't think I've ever climaxed to straight porn. Also never watched gay porn and I never would.

    Felt pretty bad after I climaxed, but honestly girls with dicks are still attractive to me. HOWEVER I've never seen one IRL and I think I like the idea of it more than the actual execution. Because trans girls, no matter how convincing, always have distinctive male features. Large hands, low body fat, lack of curves, bony faces, veins. These are turn-offs because I'm not attracted to men. If there was a way to take a female and transform her pussy into a dick that would be my ideal "trans" woman. An actual biological woman with a dick. But that's just a dumb fantasy and not realistic at all - I'd rather just have a woman.

    After 2 months of no porn, I'd still probably find getting off to trans porn somewhat easy. But they all have big hands and low voices so it's kind of weird, I've only jerked off to it maybe ~10 times in my life. Most of my jerk off material was another fetish. I'm talking about 100000:1 ratio.

    No HOCD.
     
  3. A few months ago I escalated to transsexual porn, I don't remember how it was, from the first videos I saw I developed HOCD. I was always the dominant I felt very bad after the pmo, my best streak without pmo was a month helped to disappear the fetish relapsed in heterosexual porn I saw transsexual porn again to see what happened and only the transsexuals in real life were disgusted are Very masculine would be enough to listen to his voice to kill any fantasy I had.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. Sleepysnake777

    Sleepysnake777 New Fapstronaut

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    Ever since I could remember I’ve had an intense attraction for women and their bodies from a young age. I PMOd excessively from about the age of 10 and until I was about 19 never ever questioned my sexuality. It was when I wanted something more thank porn I tried to use webcam sites to find a real woman. I would stay on for hours just to find a girl and would skip through every single dude. It was when I developed a fetish for sharing women I showed off my gf and it gave me a kinda rush and liked it. I then continued to use these webcam sites mostly for the exhibition rush it would give me and continued to use them for literally hours in the middle of the night looking for women(stopped showing my gf out of guilt). Then after some amount of time I realized I could Mai it’s in an erection just jerking off to the webcam site and not having porn playing while skipping through the males. These seemed really strange to me as when I started using these sites I never wanted to jerk to the men. That is when I started webcamming more again with the intention of finding women but I would not mind the compliments I would receive. I think this was just a fetish and the result of escalation but eventually in these webcam sites people suggested I was gay and wanted me to send them private pics and stuff and I never did. after that is when HOCD thoughts started coming in and I wondered if I was actually gay but repressing it. I would continue to get horny for women but would need to check if gay pornography
     
    FellatiousD likes this.
  5. Sleepysnake777

    Sleepysnake777 New Fapstronaut

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    And that continued for a long time until eventually I did what I feared most I finished to the image or thought of a male and it felt unenjoyable and strange. Then the cycle of checking continued until I got super depressed and had a loss of identity. Taking breaks from porn helped immensely as I would get my intense attraction for females in real life which subsided in the depression and Would start to think all those thoughts were the result of porn. I have tried to be bi in my head and imagine being with men in real life and it just doesn’t sit right with me, even thou to porn I was able to maintain an erection and even climax( after I started checking). I still deal with the anxiety of checking compulsively to every guy that walks down the street to see if I feel something and dint know how to get over that but am trying. I am going to consuling and that has helped a lot but I still go through waves of HOCD and fearing that I would want a man in real life but I know the thoughts are only accompanied by anxiety and displeasure no comfort.i wish I could just go back to before I ever started webcaming and excessive porn use. I try my best to not PMO however I am still very addicted and cannot go more than half a week without turning to porn, which is always straight porn.i still got caught in the thought loops and find the need to check sometimes but I always feel somethings off and switch back to women. I hope that continuing to not masturbate for an extended period of time will calm these thoughts and and not make them happen because I do think that’s all they are... crazy thoughts. I know I only want girlfriends and eventually a wife and have noting against homosexuals but it just doesn’t feel like that’s me. Hope this can help anyone.
     
    FellatiousD likes this.
  6. John Eses

    John Eses Fapstronaut

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    It's a good question. I never really thought about how the escalation occurred. I have always had a tendancy towards curvy women with exaggerated features... Big boobs, big hips, big lips, etc. There's a genre of transgendered person porn, particularly transgendered people from south America, where they go for that exaggerated female look. Big fake tits, hip implants, butt implants, etc. I had obviously known about trannys beforehand, but I think my introduction was seeing porn that had women and transgendered people together. I think that's deliberate. Porn seems to have a lot of crossover between genres. At first it's just woman solo, then you start to see women and men, then you start to see threesomes or groups, then you start to see threesomes with a transgendered person, then transgendered people, then transgendered people and a guy, then two guys or sissy, etc. There also seems to be another entry point to sissy porn via domination porn. I also liked women who were confident and confident women crosses over into dominant women, then dominatrix, then fetishes like feminisation, etc.
     
  7. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Unless it's bi-sexuality then it would be a paraphilia. There's a thread in my profile on curing masochism.
     
  8. Typical story I guess. Straight porn just didn't do it for me, I didn't get that same rush of excitement from it, so I stated watching all the gay stuff, transgendered person and wound up in the Female to Male transitioning porn. I'm not sure which category that is but the Brain f*ck I got from watching a woman who looked like a dude just got me high as a kite getting nailed

    I might have been convinced dick isn't so bad, but don't ever think I'd act on penis.

    Time to go though. I'm sick of it, but it will leave. hopefully
     
    swordsman163 likes this.
  9. I had the same problem, started to watch gay porn. After a year of good consistent streaks, I completely destroyed the fetish. It’s been 3 years, and anything gay related is insanely repulsive to me, I can’t watch gay porn for more than 10 seconds without getting disgusted, and normal porn does wonders again.
     
  10. parad0x

    parad0x Fapstronaut

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    Looking for that next high from the dopamine when the straight stuff didnt do it anymore.

    90+ days PM free now. Repulsion for this genre is starting to grow at the same rate it occured, thankfully.
     
    porsche4life likes this.
  11. That’s good bro. When I was doing my NoFap, it didn’t take too long but I believe it was due to my young age of 15, my brain at the time was still devolving. I feel if I didn’t start NoFap at that time, gay porn would have been part of me during puberty and I would forever find it arousing.

    Now it’s repulsive and I’ve watched it a few times in the last 3 years because I don’t understand how I ever watched it, and I feel absolutely no arousal whatsoever.
     
  12. Hey.. I remember a whole ago seeing trans porn and think "urgh no way" so I'm fairly disgusted with myself that I ended up there.

    The escalation for me was through using cam sites and Skype I think. I've had a bit of a thing for cross dressing since I was a kid, just loved the feel and taboo of it all. The exhibition started like someone else had said, getting off on women watching and then slowly accepting that men were watching and not minding. Even performing a bit for them too while I was there to keep things going and get more viewers. The Skype sessions and sharing pics ended up me showing the CD side which turned me on exposing that taboo vulnerability to anonymous people. About a year ago I found a new Skype partner I was convinced was a trans, she'd never cam but would voice with me and was very dominant.

    I got obsessed with it and she ended up with me doing a lot of things that I found a huge turn on but are so against my normal character or sexuality. Then when she wasn't online I would go in to the can sites and dress up and perform the same things to keep getting that high.

    After every O like this I felt horrible and degraded, but in a sick way that also turned me on. I'd talk about this with her on Skype the next time and she would twist me into agreeing how much of a bimbo, slut, sissy, etc etc I was. I hated it and loved it in equal measures.

    In real life, I'm not affected to guys at all. But I did start to want to fulfil the fantasies and often did MO thinking of my wife owning me like my Skype partner did. I know I'd never physically cheat so at least these real life fantasies wer about my wife I suppose.

    It was around that point I started figuring I had a problem.
     

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