Cold Turkey Time, one man, a beautiful wife, 2 kids!

What can I say, I’m a fairly normal dude. Entrepreneur, have a gorgeous wife, two beautiful kids, make good money (although had a struggling year), and massively ambitious towards the future.

I’m an ex pro-athlete, around 6’3”, black, religious - Big character extravert. I.e. I don’t have the stereotypical persona associated with those addicted.

I lay this so you can paint a bit of a picture of who you’ll (hopefully) support.

I started masturbation when I was 11 years old (I’m now 36) from the usual peer pressure of “you’ve never cum before?! Noway” so I did and still remember that overwhelmingly weird feeling.

Unfortunately my local friends had a little too much access to their dads library of porn and I was introduced (although horrified) to porn at around 12. With a few summer holidays of nothing to do, I unrelentingly masturbated to a few hardcores my friends gave me, which set the normality of porn being an active player in my life.

I’ve never enjoyed looking at porn. I’m not ‘a lad’ who goes strip clubs, cheats on his woman or any of that stuff. I just have had this thing that plagues me and catches me deep into the night.

But I think I’m ready to go cold turkey with porn and masturbation. I have a great relationship, and have no issues with sex (we have great sex...she’s ridiculously hot and we’re happy.) It’s not sex on demand, which I think can be a trigger at times, as I’m like “screw it, I’ll just bust a nut rather than hassle you”.

But I recently stopped porn (not sure of the abbreviations sorry) for around 20ish days but felt weird like my sex drive was zapped. Admittedly I was doing some non-porn masturbation but that ‘actually’ felt worse and more guilty than porn as I was effectively thinking of other women...a thought I just don’t want to entertain to Jack off...it’s weird.

My logic said weirdly to return back to porn, which was a terrible idea because I’m not in a relapse loop that I’m pretty confident I’ll break from this attempt at a live diary!

I’ve concluded that I’ll need to abandon non porn masturbation, and porn entirely. I have no idea how long this takes and do know I’ll go through a few very real withdrawal symptoms. I won’t be stopping sex with my wife, although I will stop any advances and stick to responding for now.

My triggers are mostly night time, arguments with wife, frustration of a failed attempt for some sex, excitement from making cash, over stress when I enter rough financial patches (kinda like now.)

So, this is day 0. I’ll be adding to the thread on the daily. Wish me luck, and throw any experience and support that you have, especially if you’re a fellow father out there.

Thanks guys!