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Over a year NoFap but still having anxious situations

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Phillycheesebomb, Nov 18, 2019.

  1. Phillycheesebomb

    Phillycheesebomb Fapstronaut

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    So I have had anxiety for as long as i can remember. And get trapped in my thoughts and overthink way to much. Always been a quiet shy guy. Shit even when i was born the doctors said expect shyness. I had a childhood friend that i was close to several years ago turn out that he was Gay. I had no idea, never told me and i was shocked when i found out. I no longer talk to him and I Have been single for many years and have had sex 2 times and 1 of the times i was unable to get off, i think partially from being drunk and the other i was fapping heavily at the time. Been fapping since i was 14. My friends later found out about this and then starting acting differently towards me. They would start making remarks about gay people, put on shows that had people that way in them. It started to become very obvious to me and I started to get nervous and mad about it. So i kinda drifted away from them. But still had the anxiety that people were thinking i was that way. I got fed up with all of it and did NoFap and I'm currently on day 402 of no fapping. It has helped me with my confidence and feeling better about myself. Still single. Just recently got together with an exgirlfriend that I've never had sex with always wanted too but we just slept in the same bed many times And cuddled. I noticed when we got together watching tv she would keep glancing over at me when there was a guy on the tv, kinda hard to explain so then i start to get nervous and I'm kinda awkwardly looking at the tv looking back at her. Also kept bringing up that one old friend knowing i don’t speak with him anymore. Just makes me mad that she started the same thing now. Then i start to get quiet and it just gets awkward. What is my best way to get ahold on all of this. Im not that way don't Nor do i want to be, i just think people refer back to that one friend i had and me being single for so long. When i see myfriends too, i never ask them if they have girlfriends or if there seeing anybody. Never really spoke about relationships cause I haven’t had many. I just don't bring that type of stuff up and never have. Just been Shy quiet person.

    what are some suggestions on getting over this fear of people thinking thisway about me.
     
    Oussama94, kingbob3 and Napav like this.
  2. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    Find new friends who understand that being single does not mean being gay. I have little doubt people out there believe I must me in the closet. Keep bettering yourself and eventually you'll meet the right people.
     
    cdp5089 likes this.
  3. cdp5089

    cdp5089 Fapstronaut

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    You need to confront that girl on that if you think that problem is there. If someone is testing your manhood like that, stand up for yourself. I was born and raised in Philly (I assuming you were based on your profile name) and a lot of men and women from there are jerks. When you live in other places in the world, Philly end ups seeming like a closed-minded place when you look back on your relationships with people there. It truly is a miserable city, with miserable people. Not everyone, but most. When I moved to Cali, I had to loose the Philly parts of myself, they just don't click with the rest of the world. Your friends sound like jerks too, loose them and you will feel a lot better about your life, even if it means that you will be flying solo for a while. Abstaining from bad relationships is kind of like being on NoFap, you miss the experiences you had (with porn), but you know it's no good for your health in the long term. You may miss the fun times with your friends, but when they put you down, it destroys you by degrees, and that's no good for you in the longer term. Start hanging out with nerdy, brainy, and nice people and your life will change. Most of my friends are some of the geekiest people on the planet, but their hearts are pure, and they only bring joy to my life.

    Work on your anxiety, I have it too. Start doing Yoga. Let your thoughts be your thoughts and your actions be your actions. All homosexual and negative thoughts will pass in time because you are a straight man. Those thoughts will happen every now again, it's 2019. We all have to start being more honest and open about that.
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2019
  4. Phillycheesebomb

    Phillycheesebomb Fapstronaut

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    I really need to say something to this girl if she really thinks that i am that way. She herself does live and works in the city and goes to homosexual bars and has friends that way. Yes i need to build some new friends which may be hard but i will try as i am very independent. And do keep to myself. I used to be on 50mg of Zoloft to help cure my nerves, i have been off of it for little over a year now. And when i do get nervous my face gets red it’s embarrassing. I have done a good job at not watching any porn for over a year aswell. Lately this is where my anxiety lies for people who know me and i really want to overcome this.
     
    cdp5089 likes this.
  5. Napav

    Napav Fapstronaut

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  6. Phillycheesebomb

    Phillycheesebomb Fapstronaut

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  7. kingbob3

    kingbob3 Fapstronaut

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    Own your morning, elevate your life.
    Go for early morning run mate & strength training in the evening. When you brain will get positive shocks of workout, slowly & steadily your anxiety will feel less fearful. Trust me.
    Kindly follow my journal to help yourself by helping me achieve that remarkable achievement of 400 days of NoFap.
    https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...y-streak-join-me-and-elevate-yourself.256295/
     
  8. Phillycheesebomb

    Phillycheesebomb Fapstronaut

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    So i got together with the friends and we played some games and it was just super obvious again what they are trying to do. I get so mad inside but i sit there and kinda chuckle and don't say much I'm shy person. Then when we Are in public they continue to look at me to see if I'm looking at other men too, i get so paranoid. They purposely put me in situations i don't want to be. Like i said I haven’t hardly had any girlfriends and people say I'm a very good looking guy. I haven’t really spoke to any of these friends in over a year because of this reason, but i did the other night and they started doing this to me again. Little do they know I'm well over 400 days NoFap but when I'm around them i feel like loser. And they all think I'm struggling with being in the closet and I'm not but it’s giving bad anxiety now.
     
    Oussama94 likes this.
  9. cdp5089

    cdp5089 Fapstronaut

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    I've been where you are. Cut those men out of your lives tonight. They are not your friends. Rip the band-aid off quick. Tell them you wish them the best, but you will be setting your priorities and schedule on other things at this moment in time. Leave them with dignity. Figure out how you will better spend your time without them. You won't be losing a thing.
     
  10. Phillycheesebomb

    Phillycheesebomb Fapstronaut

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    Ok, now this girl that has been my friend for years she has started to do this as well, i almost feel that my friends and her have even talked about this amongst each other. And i don't want to say anything to her about it either, and i think they are trying to set me up in a situation where theres a bunch of homosexuals and see how i react. If that happens i will not go. But there going to think thats obvious, and i would have bad anxiety and the reason i would is because i know what there doing.
     
  11. cdp5089

    cdp5089 Fapstronaut

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    Rip the band-aid off quick man. Let them go. Stop giving them opportunities to hurt you.
     

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