I'm skeptical but I want to know whether I am actually really addicted or midly addicted to porn

Just to make it easier and to the point, i will provide my list of things that I realized when watching porn, have done due to porn etc.

My list:

• Have browser in the background while playing games etc, one tab maybe two loaded with porn images. Would switch back and forth here and there and edge, and would do that until the end of the night, but I'm not constantly edging.
• Feel like doing sexual acts with men even though sexually I identify as straight, whenever I look at a man i feel nothing at all, except when I watch porn, that's when those urges/thoughts come out.
• Would berate myself after each time I watch porn and masturbate, not necessarily call myself names or make myself feel like crap, but more so along the lines of "Man, I just want the real thing, why do I keep doing this".
• Realized that I have no random erections during the day, rarely get morning wood either unless I abstain for a couple of days, I only get erections during porn, maybe barely semi-erections randomly during the day.
• Tried hooking up with guys who wanted to give me blowjobs on Grindr only to receive no erections, however the reason for this is because I'm sexually frustrated and not ready for dating/relationships with women.

I will say that I don't exercise, I am a sedentary person. I'm not really socially active I only hang out with 1 friend, i don't really like other people, I don't know why, but I just don't feel comfortable around other people, i love my solitude.

 

I understand that man, I'm not beating myself up over it, I just want to know if I'm actually really addicted or if it's just something deeper within me that's trying to surface.

By looking at it bit by bit/piece by piece and edging, if i can estimate the time spent watching porn during the course of the day, then i'd say maybe, 1.5 hours.

Moral/Ideological? Do you mean like did i develop a liking for.. let's say for example, an underage person? If that's the case then no, I am completely repulsed by anything that makes me question my moral/ideological boundaries.

The longest I've gone for would probably be about.. 18 days. I did feel somewhat more "clear" in the mind i'd say, definitely felt more productive. I have a bad habit of keeping my room messy but when i was testing NoFap, it kinda annoyed me to see "mess". I felt somewhat horny and I ended the streak because I felt way, way too horny at the time. Usually I don't wake up with morning erections, nor do I have "random" erections throughout the day.

 

• I don't watch gay porn, I actually physically can't stomach gay porn. I mainly watched vanilla porn, none of the hardcore slapping/choking/beating up/BDSM stuff, it was always just vanilla, mainly because I actually don't like seeing other people hit another person, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
• As for porn that doesn't match my sexuality, the furthest I went was watching futanari hentai, and that's pretty much the only type of hentai i only ever consumed.
• I feel depressed whenever I finish masturbating, more so pretty lonely because it just reminds me of my life, and there's really not much to my life in terms of meaning, i mean i've got pretty low self-esteem.

 

Honestly, if i ever feel anxious/nervous/sad/angry, it gives me the opposite effect. Like, if i feel any type of negative emotion, I wouldn't go look at porn, it would probably the be the last thing I look at.

I know I'm anxious when I start worrying about something more than I should. I don't get anxious too often, but I realize that I always get jitters, i feel restless in my spot etc.

 

I guess I can try this method. My low self-esteem mainly stems from my high schooling years etc and it's stayed that way for a long time, but i didn't use porn to escape from it.

 

I don't think I have PIED, I think that just has to do with the fact that I was trying to hook up with the same gender despite emotionally and romantically being attracted to women, however I think I'll just do it regardless, i get pissed off after i finish watching and masturbating. I mean, i don't watch it to cover/escape anything because unfortunately, whenever I do feel those emotions, my mind is too fixated on it and dwells on it too much for me to even consider using porn, it's like my libido is completely shut off when I feel emotionally crap etc.