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I'm starting to become ashamed of this community

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Deleted Account, Nov 16, 2019.

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  1. I have an agenda? Aye, I just truly want to see everyone fail and be miserable, get a bloody grip. You clearly don't know me so don't presume to know how I work or anything about me. You do you and believe whatever you want.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    I see lots of how you work and it needs to be called out.
     
    pickledRick likes this.
  3. Well, unlike some folks that actually know me, you clearly don't and couldn't. I bloody love the folks here and try to give back as much as I am able, especially since this community has helped so much in my recovery. So you can continue to call or label me whatever you want, it doesn't do anything as I know what I am and how far I've grown since I started. I can at least list my shortcomings and acknowledge that every day I work on bettering myself.

    If me thinking people actually being toxic is a bad thing that makes me disgusting as this is all apparently some "culture" thing, then so be it. I stand by what @Castielle has said and will continue to do so.
     
  4. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    For a 40 year old, you sure spew a lot of crap my dude.

    The member who you're targetting is a very welcome part of the nofap forums. She's been here for years and has yet to act in a manner that disregards the purpose of these forums. Unlike you, who joined a few months ago, she has seen the forums grow, change and fall.

    And if you really believe yourself to be justified in your actions, why not quote an instance of her misdemeanor so we may actually understand what you're getting at here?

    You go on and on without actually saying anything of substance.
     
  5. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    @IAmLegion, do you also think the forums have fallen?
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2019
    need4realchg likes this.
  6. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    Indeed, I do, although imo it's already getting better.

    Some sections on the forum got really bad early on this year, particularly the off topic and the problematic sexual behaviour sections. Fortunately, a lot of the members who were degrading these places have either left or lost interest.

    At a point, nofap seemed to be more about politics than an addiction recovery forum, because the off topic section was updating far more regularly than any other section here.

    To add to that, a lot of sexist and generally toxic posts were made during this period, although this issue still persists.

    In fact, I refrained from posting in any of the forums for several months during this period. When I would call out a troll, they would simply report me and to my great annoyance- the mods were forced to give them the benefit of the doubt. This eventually culminated in me getting a 3 day suspension.

    I have never engaged in any political discussions here, since I am neither american nor interested in discussing matters where the only facts come from the media itself. Such discussions inherently begin to include a heavy degree of subjectivity, which never leads to anywhere good.

    As for the sexist individuals here, I find these sort of posts sonewhat intriguing. It amazes me to see what sort of opinions people hold in this world. Although comical to me, I understand how rude and unfair these comments can be towards women themselves.

    I see the OP tackle such members regularly on the forums, often to no avail. I don't understand why she keeps doing it, but I certainly have no problems with her doing it, because she is, after all, correct in doing so. Perhaps she feels she is making a difference in these people's opinions. As for me, I believe stupidity and ignorance make for an irremediable combination, and usually refrain from getting involved in these discussions.

    I cannot tell you just how annoyed I get seeing such idiotic individuals type out nonsense and pollute these forums. By far the worst example of this, imo, is when people give incorrect advice to new members, encouraging them to edge instead of ejaculating or to watch porn as a substitute to an all out PMO session.

    However, I have learnt to move on from these things. I cannot expect everyone to share the same level of intellect or goal in life as me. Some people prefer to remain in their little shells throughout their lives, resorting to anonymity to gain the courage to slither out of hiding and spread their degeneracy.

    That's all i really can do tbh. The OP seems much more proactive in her approach in dealing with them and I enjoy seeing her fight the good fight, so to speak.
     
  7. Go right ahead. Do you see me stopping you? No.
     
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  8. Not to mention the fact that being a sexist asshole toward women is far more "disgusting" than asking that we keep this forum free of sexist assholes.

    This guy literally just called me a "bully" in another thread, because I told people they shouldn't say misogynistic things. So I don't take anything he says seriously, tbh.

    I really find it funny how many guys here don't seem to be aware of the rules of this forum. There is literally a rule against misogyny here. Alexander has decided misogyny is not allowed here. All I'm asking is for his rule to be upheld and treated more seriously. So it's really funny to me that so many people have a problem with this, like I'm trying to change things or make demands. Do you not know that you are on a forum with rules, and you aren't allowed to just post whatever you want? I'm not allowed to go around telling everyone about Jesus on here, because it's against the rules. It's also against the rules to self promote, to bully and harass and attack other members, to post triggering things, etc. People are acting like I'm introducing some oppressive system by asking for mods to take sexism more seriously. It's literally already a rule written into the official rules of posting here. That "oppressive" system you hate so much already exists. If you have a problem with that, then you have a problem with this entire site, not just me.

    Newsflash: your posts are already being "controlled" here. There are already people "controlling" how other people speak their minds here, for the sake of the good of the community as a whole. That's what moderators exist to do. So... I don't know why this seems like such a foreign concept to some, or like I'm trying to initiate something new and insane. It's already a rule, I'm just urging people to actually follow it, and urging mods to actually enforce it.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 20, 2019
  9. I agree with your post, and thank you for making it. Just to be clear before I continue, I have absolutely no beef with you at all! I'm not annoyed or anything, at all, I just wanted to elaborate on this.

    Just to address this bit, I know full well that I'm not going to change some sexist douche bag by telling him he's wrong on a forum. Especially since I'm a woman, because clearly they have no respect for women. The reason I continue to fight back is because oftentimes, when i stumble upon those threads, literally nobody else is saying they are wrong. They haven't been called out at all. And I just don't feel comfortable not calling out that crap. Not for the sake of the people posting it - because obviously they aren't going to change - but for other people reading it. There are a lot of sensitive people here on the edge between somewhat distrusting women, and full-on hating them. That's understandable given what we are all here for. So I don't want other people to see a thread full of men all agreeing with each other about all this misogynistic crap, and have literally nobody come in and provide and alternative view.

    So that's why I do it. Obviously it's not going to change those people, and contrary to popular belief, I don't do it because I'm all ragey and mad and can't help myself. I've actually had several people tell me they would be sad if I left the forums, because then those kinds of posts might not be challenged at all. Which is a problem to me. We can report threads like that, sure, but what about in the meantime? Or what about when a mod decides they don't see a problem with it? I just honestly feel like it's my duty, if I see a view like that being spread and supported by several other people (one stupid person making a comment is easy to ignore), to call it out, so anyone reading can see that that view of women is NOT normal and acceptable.

    Before anyone tries to twist my words, I want to be clear that I'm not claiming to be the only person who ever stands up against this stuff. But I will say, honestly, there have been a lot of times where I was the only person. Because people are tired of it and don't see the point in it, like yourself, which is fine and understandable, and I have nothing against you for doing what you think is right and best for yourself. But for me personally, I don't see how it's helpful to have threads like that go completely unchallenged. It only encourages people who might be on the verge if believing those things, to go further down that road if they read those threads and nobody has said anything contrary.

    Anyway, just wanted to respond to that, because I think people make a lot of assumptions or judgements sometimes about me responding to that stuff. So that's my reason for doing it. If anyone disagrees and thinks it's pointless and unhelpful, that's completely fine, you do what you need to do, and I will continue to do what I need to do.

    Although honestly, at this point, I've gotten exhausted and I'm falling into the "ignoring" category as well. Which is part of why I posted this thread, because I've decided to start blocking these creeps instead of responding to them, so I'm urging the moderators to take reports more seriously, so that we users don't have to feel the need to combat that crap. Because we really shouldn't have to. It's against the rules, and one report should be enough to remove something that's against the rules.

    Sorry for such a long post, as apparently according to some people here, I talk too much. But when my words are continuously twisted and misunderstood, I have to make sure to be as clear as possible and reiterate some things.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 20, 2019
  10. If folks are getting angry over what you’re saying, they have their own issues to work out. You haven’t said anything offensive whatsoever, and as you mentioned earlier you’ve actually just been enforcing the rules that are already in place.

    The only thing I have to say is, if you’re aware of it or not you can be a bit direct and intimidating sometimes, but personally I think it gets your messages across more effectively even if some people think it’s supposedly aggressive. I see literally nothing wrong with the length of your posts, they just don’t feel like reading and can’t comprehend it.
     
  11. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    Who made you the judge?

    You display poor judgment on the topic from what I see, so you are a bully chasing people around to conform to your ideas.
     
  12. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    I’m not angry. I think you guys are ridiculous and I laugh at you.

    I do think what you are trying to do is dangerous for the health of the forum.
     
    pickledRick likes this.
  13. Whatever mate, already explained it to you just like everyone else so just carry on. If you’re not mad then stop replying as well as dishing out edgy comebacks, I wasn’t talking to you anyways.
     
  14. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    You told me to do me... you should understand this is me doing me.

    And I have noticed not getting the last word drives you crazy.... so.... there’s that.
     
    pickledRick likes this.
  15. I'm definitely aware of that, and sometimes I try to alter the way I say things to make it sound softer or whatever. But honestly, even when I try really hard, someone is still offended most of the time. So... for the most part, I just talk the way I talk. *shrug* I promise I'm not a mean or angry person. lol it's just a difference of perspective. Personally, I don't view people who speak directly and matter of factly as aggressive. So if someone takes it that way, I'm not sure what I could do to change that.

    Admittedly, this thread is a slightly different story, because I certainly was a bit angry in my first post, for sure. But for the most part, most of the time, even when I'm responding to something I disagree with, the voice in my head is speaking very calmly and level. So if other people read it as yelling or getting angry or something, Idk what to say. They're just misunderstanding me.
     
  16. Uh it doesn’t bother me, you’ve been replying so I’ve been responding, seems pretty logical.
     
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  17. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing this opinion.

    In typing this comment, you have certainly helped further the aim of this thread and acted as a restorative entity for the "health of the forum" in their stead, haven't you?

    Laughing at us and continuing on being a snide, daft individual definitely makes this place better for everybody.

    In case you are unable to understand my sarcasm, let me make it readily apparent to you- I'm being sarcastic.

    As she has already told you: preach what you sow.

    Also, you have yet to respond to any of my points.
     
  18. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut


    Here is my experience...

    One night I click through some relationship posts that I would characterize as chauvinistic. After a few my blood starts to boil.

    I click on another one where some guy has low libedo and his girlfriend tells him he can have an open relationship.

    Some posters bro high five him but most gently suggest that would be terrible in his relationship from what he had posted.

    This won’t shock you... I get snarky and say plainly “You are so into Porn and not interested in sex that your poor girlfriend feels like she is inadequate. Look in the mirror and think about what you have done to her and try to fix it.” Or something really harsh like that.

    Then I watch the thread and realize this guy has a warped view of what a relationship should be like. Stupid porn setups seem to have really warped his view away from love towards empty lust. He has some feelings for this girl, but he is totally lost.

    And without me saying anything the forum was gently nudging him in the right direction giving him some advice.

    So hammer and my desire to see less misogynistic posts in the topic would limit others chance to say the wrong thing and get nudged in the right direction. If he doesn’t say his situation with dumb ideas behind it, he doesn’t get help and advice.

    This is a place for healing. I’m not good at doing that with patience, and I don’t have relationship issues like that myself, so I stay away from that sub forum.

    This is a place of self help. A place that people need to be safe enough to be wrong so they hopefully have a chance to go the right direction.
     
  19. A very true analysis my dear fellow. I too believe we took a hit in quality and now are on the mend.
     
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