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Confessing femdom to a friend

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Cavalry, May 11, 2019.

  1. Cavalry

    Cavalry Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,

    So here is the thing :

    About 2 months ago i discovered femdom porn. Before that, i only watched normal porn and i was searching for more and a bit more kinky. I won’t go deeper in detail because you might get aroused. Anyway, it escalated to webcam chat and watching videos more and more. I even started to see one of my female friends as a mistress. Should i confess this to her and talk about it? Or just leave it to myself? I don’t know what to do best and i really don’t want to ruin my friendship or loose her as a friend.
     
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.
  2. Would you be confessing in hopes she might like the idea? Not picking just giving you a self check to see where your mind is.
     
  3. Paul69

    Paul69 Fapstronaut

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    We need (and maybe you also) need more information. What is she like? What is he taste? Just asking as most women in my experience are not into femdom.
     
  4. Cavalry

    Cavalry Fapstronaut

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    Well, somewhere i hope secretly, but i think she will not like the idea in the long run because we are friends for maybe 10 years i quess and it would be very strange i know 100% for sure
     
  5. Cavalry

    Cavalry Fapstronaut

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    We are friends for 10+ years i quess. She has been in 2 relationships in this period. The first one was with an other friend of mine. She is very confident and kinda bit dominant. Those are one of the things that i like about her and makes me want to fantasize about her dominating me. I think she want to listen to my confession and maybe give an opinion and advice, but she will definitely not like the idea.
     
  6. Cuauhtli

    Cuauhtli Fapstronaut

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    Pal, Porn twist our reality. We stop seeing people for what they are and we want them to-be just objects for our desires. from what you are saying, she is not interested in this. Keep a good friend,who is a great treasure.
     
    Connaisseur likes this.
  7. RobinsonCrusoe

    RobinsonCrusoe Fapstronaut

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    Dude, I know it's hard to keep a secret, but, really, NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT!!!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. Cavalry

    Cavalry Fapstronaut

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    You’re right man. Although there is a need in me to confess because i want to be honest to her and tell her what i’m going through.
     
  9. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Acting out these fantasies may lead you to further seek out femdom porn. Whatever you decide to do keep that in mind
     
  10. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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  11. Cuauhtli

    Cuauhtli Fapstronaut

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    I know is not the same. I hope bringing this to the light and But having confess this on this awesome forum might help you feel better. Don’t ruin the friendship by telling her
     

  12. If she understands you and is close enough maybe talk to her about it, but just maybe say something light. Like you have a P problem, if she understands and asks what kind then maybe say it to her. If I ever told a family member or friend what I was into right now they would be seeing me in a different way probably in disgust.

    I still can't even tell my best friends that I still watch it.
     
  13. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    If anyone needs help with this addiction there is a thread in my profile to get rid of it.
     
  14. John Eses

    John Eses Fapstronaut

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    I think you need to be honest with yourself about why you want to tell her. I assume it's because you secretly hope she's into it... Even if she was and you think all your dreams have come true... Then what? Do you really think you'll be able to base a relationship on a kink? What if she moves on to someone else or you move onto someone else? It will get messy emotionally and it's only feeding your addiction, possibly in a destructive way. One of the most important important things I've ever learnt about heterosexual relationships is that no matter how a woman acts, what her background is, what her physical preferences are, what her politics are, etc., ultimately women want a man who is independent, capable of making sound decisions, capable of looking after themselves and others. A femdom relationship may be "fun" in the short term, but long term no one likes a needy, submissive, slightly creepy guy. Separate what a woman says she wants or how she acts from how a man should act. Women say all sorts of stuff and experiment with all sorts of stuff, but in reality we are all wired in certain ways and we tend to revert to our reptilian brain.
     
    marr708 and Supination like this.
  15. John Eses

    John Eses Fapstronaut

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    In short, femdom may be fun in very limited circumstances with a partner you know and love, as a bit of "fun", but actively seeking it out as a lifestyle means it has become pathological and is a symptom of your porn addiction. Deal with the addiction and your desire to tell her will dissipate over time.

    Also, irrespective of whether she's into it or not, she is highly likely to feel weird about you suddenly dumping all this very personal information on her. If you're going to seduce a woman, telling her cold that you're having kinky fantasies about her is a passion killer for most women. If you are genuinely interested in her, then ask her out and do it the proper way. And once you develop a proper relationship, then if you still feel like you want to explore this kink, introduce it to her in a way that is inclusive of her... Dont foist it on her like some terrible dark secret you've been hiding. Start with some very tame stuff just as a bit of fun.
     
    george53 likes this.
  16. george53

    george53 Fapstronaut

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    Your first paragraph is so true man
     

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