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I'm starting to become ashamed of this community

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Deleted Account, Nov 16, 2019.

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  1. Funny how people who joined yesterday can predict how the "how about we make some sensible posts" group is a danger to the forums. While us long timers clearly recognize the small yet significant role these "guardians" play. But who am I to say... Being anti-women, anti-culture, and anti-science is in fashion on all kinds of online forums these days.
     
  2. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    I was typing the other post while you said this.

    In my mind I preach what I sow and if the thought police want to settle in here I will confront that.

    if you want to respond to things on and individual level and are able to do that with kindness and understanding that would be awesome. But trying to shut people down or judging them and throwing around labels deserves a rebuke.

    You are probably not far from how I feel on many issues, but the approach and philosophy of how the forum should run are worlds apart.
     
  3. I want to echo that I actually agree with this, even the last part. I will admit that my initial post here was a bit negative minded. I think it's understandable, given what I was dealing with at the time, and how the moderation team has handled these kinds of things in the past (pretty dang poorly, imo).

    But that does seem to be changing, even after this conversation and speaking to a mod and actually being listened to and taken seriously. I do believe we are on the mend as well, and I'm glad for that. Like I said in the beginning, I think this community has a lot of great stuff going for it, and I want to see it succeed to continue to help people. I'm definitely not trying to tear down anything that's good. I'm trying to prune away the bad bits, for the health of the rest of the tree, so we can all thrive.

    I think most people understood that was my intention with this, but just in case, it never hurts to reiterate it.
     
  4. Oh I wasn’t meaning that’s a bad thing, it’s just some folks probably view it as “hostility”. Hell, I’m blunt as fuck but the difference is that doesn’t mean you’re an arsehole, we all just speak and write differently. Personally I think that’s great, and honestly no complaints from me! I just feel we take more heat because of how we sound is all.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. In the words of Sensei from the recent movie “the art of self-defense “ : rule #10– do what works.

    Ppl:

    if being blunt af doesn’t work... why are we doing it ?

    If posting while being pissed doesn’t add to further the sanity why do it?

    I admit I made a thread once (entitled “if you don’t use a tracker Stfu”) where I was really upset at some users who trounced and stomped on a guy as he was new , wanting to share with the community but not confess all to his wife while managing to hit a 7 day streak.

    In that thread castielle (rightly) called me out for being too harsh and painting with a broad brush all those who abstain from tracking and sharing their sobriety.

    I explained that for those who don’t have addictions or those who choose not to share , the field is improperly stacked in their favor. So they should make their comments with care. And proceeded to clarify the thread so as to make it clear my idea. In doing so I was humbled a bit that people saw my thread different than I meant it, but I learned to listen past my righteous anger for the poor guy.

    iamlegion made several excellent points ....I didn’t pickup “extra sass” in his retort, just a matter of fact reporting. And his point is brilliant sadly... if the off-topic is the most updated section of the website , then nofap has a subculture that can drift in a different direction.
     
  6. I can’t speak for others but I haven’t been angry, I’ve just tried to be open and honest with my opinions on this whole thing.

    I’m also not meaning blunt in a bad way if it was taken that way, I guess I should of said being more direct, as in to the point without the bs. It honestly wasn’t my intention to label anybody as being rude with that statement, if it came across as such. I should have just praised her ability to communicate so efficiently, in which I do admire.

    I can have that edited or deleted if you think that post is offensive, I don’t want anything I’ve said to be misconstrued.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 20, 2019
    Deleted Account and need4realchg like this.
  7. *i just came back today to reset my counter, don't mind me*

    I think people are sexist, racist, crazy, etc. Not all of us, but alot. But look, i would rather live next door to a racist who makes it known versus a closeted racist. Same w Nazis or sexists.

    I went on the dark web yesterday and they have some fucked up people on there. Some HIGHLY disturbing stuff, hence me resetting my counter lol

    What if one of those dudes were your kid's teacher? I guess i would rather see people for who they are.

    I was getting off-topic. It sounds like the administration isnt doing anything & thats your main beef.

    I can't report people like that to admin, so i just (try) & ignore a-holes.

    But i mean, you're such a popular and well-liked profile on here (bc your ideals relatively are the majority of people here) that they might do something for you, like deadass.

    I doubt you're leaving the site (lol). But if you do, it might solve your problem. Perhaps some time off? Idk i noticed when i left a couple weeks back, i completely forgot about my porn addiction for a bit lmao

    So its fucked up if theres sexist material consistently (i was reading a few comments that were sexist in this thread).

    The thing is, this website doesnt have to conform to laws. So they can do what they want, & if somebody doesn't like it, they dont have to be on the site. Sadly, this also applies to you (me & everybody).

    Peace everybody
     
    Protagonist likes this.
  8. I gotcha girl, no worries. I didn't take it that way.

    That might be true. Not gonna lie, I think even that is kind of dur to being a woman though, too. I see plenty of men here who speak far more bluntly than me, and get less crap than I do about it. It's like that thing people say, tough, blunt men are strong leaders, but tough, blunt women are nagging bitches. To some people, that will always be the case.

    No worries on my end. I didn't take it as a bad thing at all.
     
  9. Yeah, I probably won't be, but I was already thinking, even before this, that I want to spend a lot less time online. I'm planning to make some kind of big changes in my life in general soon, and that's one of them.

    I agree. And if there was no rule against misogyny, I wouldn't expect them to necessarily take it seriously. I also wouldn't want to be here anymore, though. Of course they can do whatever they want. You know I'm all for freedom. I'm just making some (in my opinion) helpful suggestions.

    Yeah, honestly I mostly use this site for boredom these days. Which as I said, I think is probably not the healthiest thing. I could do other, more productive things to stave off boredom. I actually have found some serious progress by having my mom be my accountability partner. We meet weekly, and I realllllly don't like having to tell my mom that I PMOed that week. Lol so it works pretty well to keep me from giving into temptation.

    Peace to you too, man. I hope things go well for you as you get back on track.
     
  10. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    You guys ignored my posts where I took the time to explain why what you want is dumb.

    if this forum is run the way you are asking it would die a fast death and you guys could sit around and pat each other on the back in peace.
     
  11. brilliantidiot

    brilliantidiot Fapstronaut

    701
    8,460
    123
    Why didn't you say, "agree or get blocked"?
     
  12. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    Because they struggle to justify what they are advocating.

    I’m sure they blocked me, but I’ll still enjoy their attempt to ruin an open forum for addiction recovery.

    They are forming a drum circle to pat each other on the back and not listen to opposing viewpoints.
     
  13. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    They don’t have a good answer for this post.

    I should have not wasted the time and stuck with “you say dumb stuff” lol.

     
  14. That sounds nice, btw, if I got u right. I mean fuck racism etc., but if people are not fake about it, i mean, hiding it, that's better. Be real for who you are. I don't respect racism or anything, but better voice what you stand up for.
     
  15. We will keep helping newcomers and uplift one another. The doomsayers can pack their bags anytime, I for one wouldn't miss them one iota.
     
    recon117 and Deleted Account like this.
  16. Thats the idea. The issue lies if you were to say this to a racist (or sexist) person. I believe in that ideology but i wouldnt make it known to racist people bc it (in a way) encourages them to continue their behavior. & the thing is, if somebody is saying some racist/sexist shit ESPECIALLY to a colored person or woman in person, thats where i wouldnt be chilling.

    Which by the way, its absolutely crazy to me to think of that concept. How could a person have "beef" essentially with an entire generalization of a human like color, gender, etc. Idk.. I've seen racism/sexism first-hand & nobody has given me an answer to that yet..

    I think the thing is, its always goimg to exist (sexism/racism) sadly. For me, i would prefer the racists and sexists be known so i can mentally note to not fuck w that person on any level.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    Weak. You can’t respond because it’s true that an open communication can lead to healing and you want to silence that.
     
  18. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    Hey this squad was defending the defendant and actually believe she is a real scientist and stuff.

    They are advocating labeling people and breaking down the freedom to share experiences and thoughts which would ruin the site.

    HHHMmmmmmm.
     
  19. Lol, I have gotten over my lust a long time ago. Not that it brings anything to this thread of course. :)
     
  20. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    ?
     
    pickledRick likes this.
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