I'm starting to become ashamed of this community

Pretty straightforward to me. Maybe if the “opposition” (especially in the other thread) wasn’t so invective, and just used their words without having to resort to cheap shots and just insulting her most of the bloody time, maybe she would have had a conversation instead of blocking. Just a thought.

 

Sure, I agree with you, to a point. But when it gets to a certain point on these forums, I just have to wonder why they are even still here when they're continuously breaking rules. I can say with pretty good certainty that most people here, including the mods, don't take sexism as seriously as they would take racism. If there were dudes here who continuously posted crap about black people being only good for sex, or something equivalent, they would be booted out of here pretty quick, I think. And rightfully so.


The thing is, i agree that it's better to know who you're dealing with. But the problem to me is when the moderators don't seem to even care about the sexist posts or take them seriously. As a woman, I'm not okay with that. That makes me feel like "my kind" isn't welcome here, because even the people in leadership are okay with this stuff. I just really can't imagine we would even be having this conversation if we were talking about racism. And sexism is no better. Hating a whole group of people and looking down on them as less than your group, based on factors like sex or race, is equally bad.


So I understand what you mean about knowing who you're talking to. That's actually part of why I hesitate to report things at times, because I would rather call it out myself and leave the post up, so people can see what kind of person that guy is. But the thing is, knowing who you are talking to only matters if these guys continue to be here. If people who continuously spout sexist or racist crap are banned, then we don't need to know who they are, because they won't be here. And if they aren't here, minorities can feel like they're actually welcome here.


I think it might be sort of easy for you to say you'd rather these posts stay up, so you can know who you're talking to, because the posts don't apply to you. So you don't know what it feels like to see them over and over, and have nobody in leadership take a stand and say it's not okay. It feels pretty shitty.


So yeah, I get what you mean when it comes to avoiding certain people, but personally I would rather they just not be here. Because when they continue to be allowed to benefit from this community, that makes me feel like the people in charge value the sexist's recovery more than they value making their female members feel safe and welcome.


I understand some people might disagree with that, because they just don't like banning or whatever. That's fine. You don't have to agree with me, but this is how I feel about it. And honestly, if I could wave a magic wand and turn every sexist post or thread here into a racist post, I think people's eyes would be a lot more open to the problem.

 

Exactly. I have conversations with people I disagree with here all the time. You know that, Bo Peep, as you've been one of those people many times. And so has the dude you're replying to, but he's choosing to conveniently forget all of those times and pretend like this block party I'm having isn't the result of many many many occasions of him spouting sexist and otherwise offensive crap.

One of the guys in this thread literally followed me to another thread to call me a bully for telling people to stop saying nisogyntic stuff. So yeah, I have no interest in listening to someone who's going to follow me around and harass me, saying stupid stuff that isn't even relevant to the thread.

And the guy you're replying to had the audacity to say that drag queens are likely to be pedophiles, and kept calling them creeps. I was perfectly willing to have a conversation with them, to try to show them their bigotry is wrong, and I did converse with them, and it went absolutely nowhere. So I've decided they're done. I will not respectfully disagree with flat out bigotry, or sexism, or anything of the sort. If you say that stuff multiple times, with no remorse or willingness to listen to reason, you're getting blocked. That seems perfectly reasonable to me.

I really don't understand this whole stupid notion that you're a bad person if you aren't willing to listen to and converse with every single person. That view only holds up on the internet. If I was having a conversation with someone in person, and multiple times I heard them say a bunch of sexist crap, or offensive crap about minorities, I would not be around that person anymore. I would leave, and if they tried to talk to me again, i would tell them i have no interest in being associated with someone with those views. That's perfectly reasonable. Not every view people have is respectable. I don't need to respect your sexism as a "different opinion." You can't just go around being a bigot, and then demand people respect you and listen to you. Nope, sorry. You've lost that right for me.

And it's ridiculous to act like you lost that right by simply saying something I disagreed with. There's a reason someone like wethebest, for example, is not blocked, and you are. I almost never agree with anything @wethebest says. It's almost laughable how different we are, and how often we disagree. But he's not sexist, and he doesn't say offensive crap about minorities, nor does he harass me or say incredibly cruel, rude things to me, or bully people, so why would I block him just because we are very different people with different opinions? Maybe if you don't want people to block you, you should use that as an example.

 

Well yeah ..

This next thing isnt intended to downplay sexism in any regard. But racism was (is) alot more intense and violent. Bc of slavery and an entire kidnapping of a civilization basically. Idk, black people have shed alot more blood due to their oppression than women have for theirs. Even modern day slavery w 13th amendment

But women ARE opprssed. I think the whole issue w the mods taking it seriously is some people (unfortunately) dont know where to draw a distinction between an unpopular opinion and bigotry/sexism. & believe me, i understand unpopular opinions.

If somebody did say that bullshit about women only being good for sex, than (in my mind at least) that's sexist asf. I would think that they would be banned

 

Thanks for @ ing me !

 

I mean, like you said me and you have disagreed on stuff before and we have a lot of different views/beliefs (especially political), but I haven’t blocked you and you haven’t blocked me. It’s called mutual respect. If it was as bad as these people are making it out to be, everyone would be reporting literally everything.

I understand that some may claim that growing up it was like this or that in their country, and things are said or done differently there but honestly, as I stated before being toxic is literally just being toxic. You’re American, while I’m European, but guess what? Even though we’re so far away and live in vastly different cultures, we both know what it means to be sexist, racist, and just a flat out arsehole towards others.

Some things are universal, it’s not that hard to get. For instance, in quite a few cultures boys are taught to show no emotion and that crying is a sign of weakness, not to mention that men should always be aggressive especially towards other men. Those kind of false beliefs don’t help anybody, and at best are just damaging especially when that child is growing up. Just because something is your “culture” or how you were raised, doesn’t make it right or justifiable.

Or how about cultures that view women and wives nothing more than property that can just be used and discarded for any reason, and still happening today is forced marriage. I guess these cultural aspects aren’t sexist or anything as it’s their “way of life” right?

 

The world would be a much better place to live if everyone had empathy. While it’s a learned trait from childhood, I at least hope most of the addicts here gain at least some through recovery.

 

Good luck with that, I don’t think anybody wants to “debate” with you considering you’re a supposedly grown adult, that just acts like an extremely rude and bitter child. That’s my guess anyway.

 

Uh no, that’s actually just been you and everyone else, your first post called OP a moron... The people here have already explained not only in different ways, but over and over again. Maybe we’re tired of nothing getting through, what’s the point? You obviously detest this whole subject because of personal reasons, so why keep coming back?

I do help folks out, especially through messaging others. If you’re so “concerned” about it, why don’t you take your own advice and help out others instead? You coming in here whinging won’t change anything, but I assume you know that already.