I need help please

Hey guys, i'm gonna start this by saying im not really good in english but please understand it. I'm a 15 year old and have a pmo addiction but i have decided to quit 2 months ago and i just keep failing. Firstly i got used to doing prone masturbation so it's very hard for me to abstain and i can ejaculate half i sleep while rubbing my thing on the bed, i have learned to not lay on my front now because of this. Next is i just learned to ejaculate without even doing PRONE OR MASTURBATING CONVENTIONALLY!!!. I did this by reading a hentai manga then tried if it's really possible. What led me to this was when i was in school and i just started fantasizing out of nowhere and i felt like i was about to burst and i thought i failed because i felt precum. After a day that really bothered me and gave me anxiety so in order to be sure i read a manga then did what i did when i was fantasizing and it happened!! I came so much and now i feel like im a total piece of shit and i can't change anymore. In all 2 months my highest streak was 10 days nothing more i keep failing on 3-6 days always. but after failing my tenth day last week and figuring out that my problem isn't just prone, it's my brain or penis! I lost all motivation to do nofap now, i'm so paranoid and my anxiety is filling up my head, i'm so depressed so please guys i need help what do i do!!! I cant express everything since im not good in english but please understand i want this to stop