THE 100 DAY SPARTAN CHALLENGE (OPEN)

@Kratos_GOW i had relapsed

 

@Kratos_GOW i am in for the challenge for the third time! Add me to the Spartan boys!
check in day 0

 

day 1 check in

 

Hello Spartans,

Today was a busy day. I had a lot of appointments for various reasons.

I’ve been thinking about pmo today. Wondering why I still am not doing it. Wondering why I give up the pleasure. The rush. The good feelings. The high. Asking myself, is it worth it? Is my life so much better than it was? Was the pleasure that amazing? Is this a good deal? Would my life really be that bad if I went back to pmo?

I have lived so long with Worries about how people think of me, how they treat me, speak to me. Fears of how people might react to what I say and do. Anxious about how people will judge me, criticize me and try to cut me down.

I used pmo and other escapes to cope for a long time. Netflix. Instagram. Alcohol. Pot. Judging others. Comparing myself to others. Being outraged about things that I never did anything about except being outraged.

During Nofap I’m less distracted by escapism, I’m less worried about what other people think, less concerned with being liked. I’m less interested in things that can be bought and more focused on the kind of person I want to become. And when people are negative around me, when they act in poor character, judge me, criticize me... I don’t internalize it as much. Because I’m focused on who I want to be and how I want to be. I have a vision for my life that’s not about the size of my house, bank account or car. Or how many people like me. And people can trash talk, run their mouth and throw shade at me. And I just keep focused on me and my life. My efforts. I’m not running or hiding. I’m charging out into the open field of life. I’m more free each and every day.

Pmo is always there. Waiting for me to have a few moments of doubt. Waiting for me to have a few moments where the world has me on the ropes and is trying to beat me down into submission. To break my will. My discipline. To pull me back into a life of fear and anxiety and depression and weakness.

Most people are living that life and they don’t even know it. Living life in quiet desperation masked by whatever simple and convenient pleasure or escape they can reach. So few people ever decide to become self disciplined. To not be like everyone else. To raise their own standards. It’s a lonely path at times.

We are blessed. We have the good fortune of finding each other on this forum and in this challenge created by @Kratos_GOW
Our duty is not only to ourselves but to each other. We must come here not just to check in for ourselves but to check in with each other. Encourage. Support. Cheer. Share. I see so many good Spartans doing this and it is so inspiring. It is also vital to our success. We are not here simply to keep our eyes off of porn pixels and our hands off our pleasure parts. We are here to become better. To become more free. To find glory. We are here to struggle. To build our discipline. Our character.

Thank you Spartans for helping me become a better version of myself than I imagined I could be. Best wishes for this weekend.

“The true source of a Spartan’s strength is the soldier standing next to him”.

 

Day 14 checking in with two weeks, feel alot better than I did 2 weeks ago

 

Checking in: Day Nineteen.

 

Check in day 48

 

Today I will ride my bike to the gym, where I will lift weights and do cardio and challenge my mind and body. I will not look at my phone or wear my headphones while I'm lifting weights, but I will look at least one fellow gymgoer in the eye, smile, and say "hello."

Today and tomorrow I will devote time and effort toward creating my resume and reviewing jobs. My resume is a work in progress and it will be 100% accurate and honest. I do not have a computer at home so when I am creating my resume I will be innovative and be willing to think and act outside the box. I will explore only the job opportunties that most appeal to me and I will not settle for anything less.

I will spend time today and tomorrow thinking about what I REALLY want to do with the remaining years of my life. I am 48 years old and I have nothing to lose by trying!

Today and tomorrow I will work on creating an action plan for succeeding at my current job. I've really struggled the past few months and I am worried about my finances, and I am also worried that I am going to lose my job. But today I am going to face these fears. I've been with the same company for nearly 5 years and I've succeeded before, and I'm going to do everything that I can to succeed again. So today and tomorrow I will identify the areas where I can improve and what I can control, and I will execute a plan, and stick to it, starting Monday, November 25, 2019.

 

day 71 checking in

 

Day 20 : )

 

Awesome mate! Nearly at a big mile stone, keep going

 

Very challenging week. Many ups and downs and work was very slow and felt very stressful, but I survived!

Worked out almost every day with unprecedented focus and intensity. Healthy eating and drinking all week, although I did indulge a bit last night after a long week of work and drank 4 beers and 2 shots of Grand Marnier.

But my desire for weekend alcohol is greatly diminished. I don't remember the last time I drank alcohol on a Saturday or Sunday. Every other Friday evening or so, right after work, I'll have a few beers and maybe a shot or two, but that's about it.

Been going to bed early (9 pm, 10 pm at the latest) and rising early (5 am every day, without the aid of an alarm clock). I have become a "morning person" and I am really enjoying my morning "meditation": 1 K-cup of coffee, reading (mostly nofap.com) and reviewing and revising my short-term and long-term goals.

I'm at 30+ days PMO and I THINK I'm starting to come out of a flatline. My libido and urges have intensified. For years (i.e. the past 5 years) all of my sexual functioning was derived from fantasies, marijuana, alcohol, PM, and p-subs. I was often unable to perform sexually in "real life." 50/50 chance at best.

Rebooting is starting to feel like a double-edged sword. I loathed the flatline (i.e. no libido, brain fog, ED, etc.), but at least I never felt any overpowering urges. Lately, though, I've felt the onset of my libido, and the thought and confidence of being able to perform sexually feels very exciting and powerful. I feel like this is when I need to be especially vigilent. I need to keep my thoughts and urges in check.

I haven't thought about P or M but the past few days and nights, I have been recalling, with fond remembrances, my past sexual "conquests," (reckless and promiscuous, always thinking about my own desires; never thinking how my selfishness impacted others), and I have also entertained, in my mind, the prospect of a sexual encounter with a business colleague.

This is when I need to remind myself that those few seconds of self-induced thoughts of pleasure (i.e. fantasies) will NEVER come close to matching the man I am today: an honest and humble man; a grateful man; a blessed man, full of newfound joy, energy, strength, and purpose.

So today, with God's help and the support from my fellow members at nofap.com, I will continue traveling along the path to TRUE freedom and happiness. It's not the easy path, but it is the one I choose.

 

check in day 38

 

Hey guys! I'm Colombian and so proud of it. We are now in "paro nacional" there are a lot of cops trying to shut us up, but we are the nation's resistance. No time to think about sex, girls, or porn. I'm focused on facing corrupt government. Bye for now.
Day 2

 

Don't mention it. I know it can be hard to run a challenge so active
anyway yes I will do it this time

 

Reporting for day 12